


Haunted

by Deonara2012



Series: Visions of the Past, Memories of the Future [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson & Dave Wolverton
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Gen, Pre-Star Wars: The Phantom Menace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-05-25 08:23:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 51,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6187303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deonara2012/pseuds/Deonara2012
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Obi-Wan has been having nightmares - and then things get worse. Book three of Visions of the Past, Memories of the Future. Sequel to Long Road Home</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "Memories Can Fade" - Britney Spears, Autumn Good-Bye

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with George Lucas or Star Wars. I have borrowed some people and a lot of the world created by Dave Wolverton and Jude Watson from the Jedi Apprentice books, but they are not mine. I am making no money off of this.
> 
> Writer's Note: Many, many thanks to Jovieve for beta reading this, and for helping me to fix all the problems I didn't even know existed. You are awsome. Thanks.

"Obi-Wan."

The voice was accompanied by a gentle nudge through his Padawan bond, and Obi-Wan Kenobi struggled to open his eyes. The passenger seat of the two-man transport was no more comfortable than it had been when they'd left Kagran 3, but he'd rather stay in it than get out of it. The engine pinged, cooling, and he realized they'd landed. Finally, he opened his eyes to mere slits and found the blurry shape that was Qui-Gon Jinn. "Yes, Master."

"You will be much more comfortable in your own bed," Qui-Gon said gently. "We are home."

"Yes, Master." The news made moving slightly less odious. Leaning forward and grasping under his seat, he found the strap of his knapsack and climbed out of the transport hatch. The massive hanger was dim; behind his Master, the doorway was filled with the false light of Coruscant at night. Good. He'd be able to sleep. If he could get rid of this stinking tunic. If he could do that, he could save refreshing himself until he woke up. Anticipation of his own bed made him clumsy as he landed, and he barely managed to keep his feet. He caught sight of his Master's half-smile before Qui-Gon turned away to lead the way into the Temple.

The lights were dimmed for night in the halls of the Temple, and it relieved Obi-Wan. It meant fewer Jedi would see - or smell - their arrival. He actually saw very little but the fall of his Master's hair down his back. When Qui-Gon stopped, Obi-Wan roused enough to realize they were waiting for a lift. He started to lean against the wall, only to have Qui-Gon's hand stop him. "Don't, Padawan. You will only fall asleep, and you will be very embarrassed if I have to carry you back to our quarters."

Obi-Wan flushed and straightened. "I'm not that small anymore," he protested weakly, half incoherent, remembering the time he'd collapsed in the council chamber. He'd been gone for nearly a year from the Temple, and had been brought back, injured. Theela had been upset that the Council had asked to see him about his actions before he was quite recovered to go.

"You were not that small five years ago," Qui-Gon reminded him. "And you were only a little more tired than you are now."

The lift opened and saved him from having to respond. He followed his Master inside, taking care not to lean against the wall there, either. Finally, the lift stopped and the doors opened to let them out on their residence level. Obi-Wan knew he should use the Force to keep alert, but he'd reached the end of his endurance on the flight back to Coruscant. It felt wonderful to be back, to have the Force palpably around him. He shuffled after Qui-Gon, stopping suddenly once he realized they'd reached their common room. He didn't remember leaving the lift or even walking the hallway.

"Go to bed, Padawan," Qui-Gon said gently. "You can clean up when you wake."

"Thank you, Master," Obi-Wan breathed, and stumbled into his own room. "Alarm off," he mumbled, and paused long enough to make sure the alarm had understood him. Tossing the bag in the corner, he set his lightsaber on the bedside table and started to unbuckle his belt. It landed across his desk; his tunic covered his travel bag, followed by his under tunic and leggings. He started to grab clean sleep clothes out of his drawer, hesitated, and decided against them. He collapsed onto his sleep couch. "Lights off."

The darkness was perfect. With a sigh, he pulled the blankets firmly around him and dropped to sleep.

_He couldn't move. The situation was too familiar, the Force-frozen air around him, Master Sorin's hand on his braid, pulling. His Master sneered at him, "you are barely worthy of my time..." But this time the voice was Master Jinn's._

With a start, Obi-Wan woke, still frozen, the pressure on his braid real. He reached up to touch on the lamp affixed to the head of his sleep couch, and his braid pulled free. He sighed with relief, but then shuddered. It had just caught under his arm, but it had felt so much like the pressure Sorin had put on it. He reached for the gaudy datapad that he kept in the drawer of his nightstand, idly wishing again the shop had a datapad that was a bit more… subdued. He shook the thought off. What was, was. Maybe the dream was just an old memory, but none of his former Masters had ever spoken with Qui-Gon's voice in any of his previous dreams, and that had been disconcerting. Recording the dream, he dropped the datapad on the table and doused the light, snugging back into his blankets. Within seconds, he was asleep.

"No, Anakin."

His words woke him, his heart pounding. He sat up and reached to turn the lamp on again, comforted by the light. His hand shook - all of him did, but he didn't know why. The dream he'd had was fading, leaving only the feeling of betrayal and a deep-seated grief that increased until he felt nothing else. He pulled his knees to his chest, wrapped his arms around his legs, and buried his face in his knees as he rocked back and forth. His breath came in gasps as he fought for control, not even sure when or how he'd lost it.

A knock on his door brought his head up sharply, and he stared at the door. "Obi-Wan?"

For an instant, he was surprised to hear the voice and feel the concern echoing down his bond. In the wake of the surprise came a displaced feeling, as if his Master had no business being there.

Raising a trembling hand, he waved the door open. The Force responded sluggishly, but it obeyed. "I'm sorry I woke you, Master," Obi-Wan said, his voice trembling.

"May I come in?" The voice was gentle, but somehow felt... out of place. In the dim light from his lamp, he could see concern on Qui-Gon's face.

"Yes." He rested his forehead on his knees again, struggling with the strange feeling. His sleep couch shifted as his Master sat down, close enough to touch.

"What happened?"

"A... a dream." He struggled to force the words out. "B-but I don't understand."

"What happened in your dream?" Qui-Gon's voice was calm, quiet, and still, somehow, wrong. Wrong that he was in the room with him.

"A... man - young man - a Knight, a little older than me. We fought. He turned against me, so angry." He paused for breath, trying to remember. "And he... attacked." He couldn't even remember clearly what had happened, the face of the Knight that had done this. Only an unbearable feeling of guilt and betrayal, and a sadness that seemed to have no end remained of the dream. He fought to keep it all in, to release it into the Force, and none of it would go.

"Attacked?"

"Me. I went, I tried to..." But then the grief was too much and he couldn't speak any more.

Qui-Gon reached out to place an arm around his shoulders. "It's okay, Padawan." Gently, he drew Obi-Wan closer, to lean against him. The touch, both physical and mental broke his restraint and he sobbed into his Master's shoulder.

It felt even more wrong, for some reason, that his Master was there. That seemed to make his grief worse, and he gripped Qui-Gon's sleep tunic, trying to pull him closer, to bring everything back to normal, but he couldn't. He could do nothing but wait for the storm to pass. His Master held him gently, humming tunelessly, a familiar comforting sound.

Slowly, gradually, the rightness of it all returned and his sobs eased. His head ached, his eyes burned, but the grief had eased as well, and by the time he let go and drew away from his Master, he no longer felt so bereft and out of control.

"Feel better?" Qui-Gon asked gently, his hand on Obi-Wan's bare shoulder, curiosity and worry in the bond.

"Yes, Master. Thank you." Obi-Wan took a deep breath.

"Good." He squeezed his Padawan's shoulder and tugged gently on his braid, then stood up. Obi-Wan cringed and caught himself, hoping Qui-Gon hadn't noticed. The first dream was still too close. "Don't forget to write it down, Padawan. And go to sleep." He hesitated a moment. "We'll speak more on this tomorrow," he added quietly.

Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, Master."

Qui-Gon paused at the door, then stepped back to Obi-Wan's desk and activated a night light located there. He stepped swiftly out the door, allowing it to close behind him.

Obi-Wan knew he was too old to need a night light. But he appreciated the gesture, and he knew he needed it tonight, no matter how close he was to his trials.

He didn't remember much of the dream anymore, but he picked up the datapad and recorded both the little that he could remember and his reaction to it. As he lay down to go back to sleep, he wished he could remember the name he'd said when he'd woken up. He didn't usually remember places or names, but he had the feeling this one was going to be important.

When he turned off his bedside light, the soft glow over his desk comforted and eased him, and he slipped easily back to sleep.


	2. "He was the Only One There" - Ace of Base, Ravine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Qui-Gon muses

Qui-Gon paused outside of Obi-Wan's door as it slid closed, confused and worried. It was a rather familiar feeling - after all, this was Obi-Wan - but this display of emotion was uncharacteristic of his Padawan. He did not remember ever having seen Obi-Wan so out of control, ever. Well, not since Arioch, he corrected himself, before he'd become the young man's Master. He hadn't missed that his Padawan had decided not to dress for bed, either. It had pleased him to see that Obi-Wan had no new scars - and even those he'd gotten from before Qui-Gon started to train him had faded past recall.

The grief he'd felt from Obi-Wan had confused him when it woke him up. He'd only felt that when he dreamed of Tahl, and he hadn't that night. He seldom dreamed of her anymore, but he appreciated the reminder of her he got in his dreams. Tonight, though, it hadn't taken him long to realize the grief was leaking down the bond from Obi-Wan. The most confusing part had been the sheer... wrongness he'd felt when he'd sat next to his Padawan. Even stepping into the room had felt as if he were in an alternate reality, where he... no longer existed. Had Obi-Wan felt it, too?

Shaking his head to clear it, he turned to go back into his own room. He would ask nothing of his Padawan tonight, and he didn't think he'd find the answers anywhere else. It might simply have been his own exhaustion, he admitted to himself as he sank down on his sleep couch. The mission had been difficult for both of them, and waking up in the middle of their night was enough to throw everything off. Still, he needed to know if something was wrong. Tomorrow would bring his answers.

When Qui-Gon woke again about mid-day, he felt well rested. He checked the bond with Obi-Wan, relieved to find his Padawan peacefully asleep. Obi-Wan's reaction to last night's dream had been the worst so far. Rising, he dressed - while Obi-Wan had not minded falling into bed without cleaning up, Qui-Gon had - and went into the main room to the kitchenette to make himself something to eat.

He had finished with his meal and made himself some tea by the time he heard Obi-Wan moving around, changing his bedding and using the refresher. By the time Obi-Wan emerged, looking every inch the proper Padawan (except the wrappers on his braid), Qui-Gon had finished his second cup of tea.

"I'm sorry I woke you last night, Master," Obi-Wan said, standing in front of him.

Qui-Gon nodded, accepting the apology. "There's Tumerian soup on the range if you want some."

If his nod hadn't been enough, Obi-Wan's stomach let out a growl that made him flush. He retrieved a bowl of the soup and a glass of milk, and sat down across from Qui-Gon with them. Qui-Gon waited until he'd nearly finished before speaking. "I was concerned about your reaction to that dream."

Obi-Wan's spoon stopped halfway to his mouth. "It was strange," he agreed.

"What did you feel?" Qui-Gon asked.

Obi-Wan contemplated his nearly-empty bowl for a moment. "Grief," he said finally. "As if something or someone I loved had been torn away from me."

Yes. That had woken Qui-Gon with its intensity. "Anything else?"

"Betrayal," Obi-Wan said, and hesitated. "There was this… feeling of wrongness," he went on, apparently searching for words, "as if you'd gone away and were unreachable. Like you shouldn't be there."

"I felt it, too," Qui-Gon said. "Out of place is the best way to put it. As if I didn't belong in your room, or anywhere near you." He'd promised Obi-Wan, before he'd chosen to train the boy, that he would stay out of his room unless invited. He'd broken that promise exactly twice - both due to Obi-Wan's nightmares. He did not intend to break it again.

Obi-Wan set his spoon down. "I don't understand, Master. Why... why would the Force make me feel that way?"

Qui-Gon paused, playing with the tea mug before him. "I don't know, Padawan. I felt it, too. I did not know if it was because you wished me gone."

Obi-Wan fell silent and began to eat again, and Qui-Gon's heart contracted within him. "No," the Padawan said finally. "You were welcome. But..." He hesitated, taking the last bite of his soup. "The dream that woke you wasn't my only dream." Whatever he had been about to say, he apparently did not want to say it.

"Was the other as disturbing?"

"One was. I dreamed of Master Sorin, but..." He hesitated again, almost as if he wished he hadn't brought it up. "But he spoke with your voice. That's never happened before."

"What did he say?"

Obi-Wan shifted nervously as he set the spoon in the empty bowl. "He said I was barely worth his time."

Qui-Gon's brow furrowed. Surely, Obi-Wan didn't think for a moment he felt that way. "I can imagine that was disturbing."

Obi-Wan got up to refill his bowl, as if he needed a little distance. "Yes. And I would have passed it off as nothing, the dream, I mean, since my braid was caught under my arm and it pulled, except for that." Obi-Wan gave a self-conscious half-shrug as he returned to the table and sat down again. "The other dream, after the one you know about, was nice." A smile lit his face, slowly, like a sun coming over the horizon. "I was... soaring, gliding over this... beautiful landscape, all green, with trees and a river. I knew I should have been worried about something, but it was too beautiful not to enjoy."

"A nice feeling?"

"It was amazing. There was this... feeling of freedom."

"I've had dreams like that," Qui-Gon said as he got up, refilled his mug from the teapot, and sat down again. "It was even a place I recognized - Arioch."

Obi-Wan's smile grew wider. "That would have been nice, to even go back in dreams."

"You'll go back, Padawan."

Obi-Wan gave him a curious look, but went back to his meal. Qui-Gon wondered at the look, and then realized why he'd gotten it. He'd said 'you', not 'we'. Strange slip of the tongue, since he'd been thinking about returning there sometime soon. But he still had not addressed what had so bothered him the night before. "Obi-Wan, what in your dream was so… devastating to you?"

Obi-Wan set his spoon down again, and Qui-Gon felt a flash of frustration from his Padawan. "I don't know," he said honestly. "It was as if… as if the attack was one more thing in a long line of things gone wrong, and then you were there and weren't supposed to be…." He trailed off, then shook his head. "I can't explain it better. I don't know what was wrong." He closed his eyes and released his frustration into the Force.

The comm unit chimed, indicating a message from the council, giving Obi-Wan a reprieve from trying to find more words. Qui-Gon waved it on. "Master Jinn," a generic electric voice said, "the council would hear your report immediately after late meal." He waved it off when the message finished. That gave them some time to get thoroughly checked in, and meant they'd have a chance to eat that evening as well.

Obi-Wan finished his soup and got up to put the bowl in the sink. "Thank you for the meal, Master," he said, and went back into his room to fix his braid and do whatever else he felt he needed.

Qui-Gon had just gotten up to fix another cup of tea, this one with muscle relaxers in it, when the comm chimed a more generic note. With a gesture, he activated it. "Qui-Gon Jinn speaking," he said.

This comm was from Mind Healer Ulani Satoru, wanting to schedule a visit with Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon set it up for the same time the dining hall began serving the late meal, two hours before the appointment with the council. He signed off and returned to his contemplation and his now cold fresh cup of tea.

Obi-Wan emerged a while later, his braid neat, markers in place, looking much more the Jedi Padawan he was. The black band on his braid stood out in sharp contrast to his other markers and his reddish hair. Obi-Wan used it to mark the time he'd left the Temple, thinking he'd killed his Master. Yoda had allowed the deviation from standard Padawan markers, but only after Obi-Wan had spoken in his own defense. He'd stated, firmly, that it would remind him to assess the situation correctly, and accept the consequences, rather than running off and finding himself in more trouble. Qui-Gon still had some doubts about the wisdom of allowing the wrap, but had no reason at the time to deny his Padawan the reminder.

"Master Satoru commed. He'd like to see you during the first hour of late meal."

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan responded, looking up from the datapad he'd walked out of his room reading.

Qui-Gon leaned back in his chair and indulged in a bone-creaking stretch, and several of his joints cracked sharply. He had to hide a wince at the pain in his arms and back. The trip back to Coruscant hadn't been very comfortable for him.

"Stiff?" Obi-Wan asked knowingly.

"A little." He smiled back at his Padawan.

"I told you not to get yourself arrested. Those cells were uncomfortable for me because they were so small, and you were there longer." Obi-Wan set his datapad down on the table and took Qui-Gon's teacup.

"It was necessary," Qui-Gon said.

"Maybe." It was the first time Obi-Wan had conceded that point. Qui-Gon would have liked to see his Padawan's face, but he was refilling the teacup. "I was going to the heated pools near the Healer's Wing before meeting with Master Satoru. Do you want to come?"

Qui-Gon paused to consider. Obi-Wan still had assignments to complete, and he should suggest his Padawan work on those. After a moment, he decided against it. A little relaxation would do them both good, and the late meal would start soon - one reason he'd picked Tumarian soup when he'd risen. It wouldn't interfere with the meal this evening. "Yes, I think that is a good idea," he said.

A few moments later, they left their quarters. Obi-Wan looked over the datapad Qui-Gon had gotten him, and he noticed his Padawan grimace at it, although he didn't know if the grimace were directed at the loud design or the dream he read. They found swim trunks in the changing room, leaving their robes and everything there, and went into the hall.

The heated pools were located in a large hall not far from the Healer's wing. Sunken pools dotted the floor, a tough green plant ground cover filling the space between them instead of slippery cement. The low murmur of conversation filled the room as much as the humidity. Healers moved between the pools nearest the door, where their patients rested and soaked and recovered.

An occupant of one of the pools called a cheerful greeting to Obi-Wan, and Qui-Gon had to look closely to recognize Obi-Wan's childhood friend. Garen had grown and filled out, bigger than Obi-Wan across the shoulders, and his hair had lightened. The main difference was the hint of pain in the way he sat, however, and Qui-Gon wondered if he were here by medical orders rather than choice. He smiled at the stab of pleasure and then embarrassment coming down the bond from his Padawan.

"It's okay, Obi-Wan. Go catch up with your friend. I will find another companion." He squeezed Obi-Wan's shoulder as Obi-Wan stammered his thanks.

Qui-Gov wove idly through the pools, nodding to those who greeted him until he found a pool holding a knight he hadn't seen in a long while. Her enthusiastic greeting made him feel welcome, and he willingly slipped into the pool with her, laying his towel within reach. Caught up in the conversation with her, he barely noticed how the water eased his aches.


	3. "Kings and Queens will Have to Wait" - A*Teens, Bouncing Off the Ceiling (Upside Down)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan talks: to Garen, to Bant, and to the Mind Healer

Obi-Wan sank gratefully into the warm water and grinned at his friend. "I didn't expect to find you here," he said. "Bant told me you weren't to return for a while. We ran into her at the Senate building a standard month ago."

Garen grimaced. "We weren't. We ran into trouble."

Obi-Wan's smile slipped. "Care to tell me?"

Garen shrugged, and winced at the movement. "We were only supposed to observe," he said. Obi-Wan figured he wasn't allowed to name the system. "But we got caught between the security forces and the rebels. My Master was injured so badly in the confrontation, he's in long-term care and is bedridden." His rubbed his left shoulder a little. With an embarrassed glance at Obi-Wan, he cleared his throat and straightened, slowly.

"Will Master Zanith recover?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Master Healer Ashthoret says it will be a while, but soon he will be getting me into trouble again." Gareth sounded like he was trying to cheer up.

Obi-Wan nodded and touched his friend's right shoulder. "Sounds like Theela," he said softly. "What happened to you?"

Garen flushed and shifted slightly, wincing as he did so. "I dodged the wrong way early in the fight, and got hit with a scrambler. I fell and twisted my back when I landed. I come every day because master healer Ashthoret says it's good for me."

"How was your master injured?"

Gareth slid deeper into the water. "I didn't see what happened to him. The doctor told me he'd been caught in a crossfire and hadn't managed to get out of the way. The security forces got us to the medical center, and as soon as Master Zenith could travel, they sent us here. They needed the room because of the number of casualties."

"I am sorry," Obi-wan said. "Is there anything I can do?"

Garen seemed to cheer up. "Tell me of your mission," he said. "Who needs the pools, you or Master Jinn?"

Obi-Wan grinned. "My Master, but don't tell him that. I got him here by making him think I needed to visit them." He sobered. "We had to split up on Jicynda, trying to find the Prelate's daughter. She had disappeared with her husband, leaving a child behind, and no one knew if it was because they'd been kidnapped, or if they left for another reason." Obi-Wan shook his head. "They are very particular about how strangers interact with the citizens, especially the women, and I wasn't as careful as I should have been. I got arrested. The cells are underground, and even the natives can't stand upright in them. I'm taller than most of them." He leaned back, arching his back to ease the tension in his shoulders. He was glad that Garen was there; his friend was a welcome distraction, and helped him keep his mind off his appointment with the Mind Healer later that evening. He was not looking forward to telling Master Satoru his dreams. "The cells were too small for me to stand up or even lay down comfortably, and even sitting, my head brushed the ceiling. I wasn't there long, maybe a day, but it was long enough."

"And your Master?"

Obi-Wan shook his head, exasperated. "There are times I do not understand him," he said thoughtfully. "My Master had himself arrested to try to impart a lesson to me, and spent two days in those cells. I wasn't allowed to visit, but I could imagine how uncomfortable he must have been. He's so much bigger than I am." He growled in frustration. "The worst part is, I don't know what he wanted me to understand, and I think he is... disappointed in me."

Garen opened his mouth, probably to protest, then nodded in understanding, a matching look of frustration on his face. "It seems to be how it goes. The lessons get more subtle, the closer we get to the Trials."

Obi-Wan nodded and released his frustration into the Force.

They were quiet for a while, muscles relaxing in the warm water. Obi-Wan closed his eyes and let his body relax further. Jedi walked by, the ground cover muffling their footsteps. Others splashed as they moved around, getting in and out of the pools. If only he didn't have the appointments today.

"You two look rather wrinkled," Bant's voice said from behind Obi-Wan's head, and he tilted it up to look at the Mon Calamari, opening his eyes. She was taller, and beginning to develop into one of the best examples of her species. She was smiling as she dropped her towel in a heap by Obi-Wan's.

"Hello, Bant."

She stepped into the pool, sinking down near Garen and turning to him.. "How are you feeling?" she asked

"Great," Garen said, sliding a little further into the heated water. "This is an excellent alternative to meditating when one is stressed. The tension goes into the water instead of the force." He sounded much more cheerful, and that cheered Obi-Wan. Bant often had that effect on them.

"And your skin resembles an Omali fruit," Bant added.

"But that's temporary," Obi-Wan said with a brushing gesture, splashing his friends. "Besides, the heat is worth the price."

"Hey." Bant splashed back.

"I didn't do it on purpose," Obi-Wan protested.

Bant rolled her large eyes at him and turned to Garen. "How are you really?" she asked, becoming serious.

"I'm fine," he said. "The pools are working wonders."

"And you, Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan grinned at her. "I'm fine. Glad to be home. What are you doing here?"

"Garen commed me when he came here so I could jois him," Bant said. "I hadn't even heard you were back yet. You're not here because you were injured, are you?"

"No," Obi-Wan assured her. "My Master needed to come, so I suggested it. He knows I have stuff to do, but he must have been feeling worse than I thought since he agreed to come. How is Master Fisto?"

"He's on a solo mission right now, and is expected back soon. I really hope I get to go on the next one."

Obi-Wan straightened, recognizing her tone. "It is not because...?" He paused, not sure how to continue that line of thought. Her first Master had left Bant behind often before she'd died.

She shook her head. "No, it is not quite the same as with Master Tahl," she said. "And I am old enough not to feel abandoned." She sighed in frustration. "But I do anyway."

"Do either of you have plans tomorrow night?" Obi-Wan blurted before he remembered that he and his Master were meeting with the Council that evening. More than once, a report for one mission had turned into a briefing for a new mission, with only a night's rest in between. Sometimes not even that. He hoped it wouldn't be the case tonight.

Garen shook his head. "No. Well, sleep," he added. Obi-Wan playfully splashed water in his direction and turned to his other friend.

Bant shook her head, her frustration fading. "I don't have many plans at all until Master Fisto returns, other than meeting Garen and catching up on the assignments he gave me to keep me occupied."

"My Master and I are reporting to the Council tonight. If we aren't given another mission, I'd like to get together with you - and Reeft, if he's here - tomorrow night. I'll comm you in the morning and let you know what's going on. If we're staying we can make plans then." He grimaced. "Of course, if you don't hear from me in the morning, that means we've already left." He gave them both a rueful look and they grinned knowingly back at him. It was hard to stay caught up with his friends with the kind of schedule he and Qui-Gon had.

"Do that," Bant said. "Comm me in the morning, and I'll get hold of Garen and Reeft. Garen's not in his quarters yet, and contacting him is a headache." She grinned at Garen's wordless protest, and he grinned back.

"Great," Obi-Wan said, and sighed. "I've got to get to my appointment with Master Satoru. I'm glad you were both here," he added, reaching for his towel as he started to get up. "I hope the Council doesn't assign Master Jinn and I another mission before we get a chance to hang out more." He wrapped his towel around his waist and went to find his Master. He found Qui-Gon relaxing with a Knight Obi-Wan didn't know. With a smile, Obi-Wan caught his eye and waved good-bye before going to get dressed for his appointment, waving at his friends as he passed them again.

Master Healer Ulani Satoru's office was about the same size as the common room and kitchen in his quarters. A small desk in the corner held a terminal, dark now. A large, comfortable couch - Obi-Wan knew how comfortable from experience - filled the wall opposite. Directly across from him, a large window looked down on one of the many gardens found in the temple. Comfortable chairs and cushions lined the rest of the walls. A tree with a small fountain, a sort of oasis, held court in a corner near the window, filling the room with the fresh smell of water and the quiet, calming sound of running water. Master Satoru turned from the desk when the door opened. He was a Coelli covered in iridescent blue scales everywhere Obi-Wan could see, except his face was a lighter shade of blue. He was calm, unlike the steward of duties at the Monastery at Bel Meridah, who was the same race but had always seemed nervous. Obi-wan paused in the doorway, keeping the door from closing. How long had it been since he'd thought of the steward? Or the monastery? Years, at least, so why now?

"Come in, Obi-Wan," Master Satoru said.

Obi-Wan sat in one of the overstuffed, wide chairs, the one he usually took. Master Satoru turned his chair fully away from his desk and drew closer to Obi-wan, stopping at a comfortable distance. "You look relaxed," he said, making a note on his datapad.

Obi-Wan smiled self-consciously. Being in the Mind Healer's office always made him nervous. "I was at the heated pools with some friends," he said. "It's had been a long time since I had seen them both together."

Master Satoru smiled in understanding. "How are your friends?"

"Garen was injured, which was why he was there; Bant arranged to meet him there."

"Why were you there?"

"My Master needed to visit the pools, so I invited him to go with me."

Master Satoru nodded. "What happened on your mission?"

Obi-Wan gathered his thoughts, and gave Master Satoru a quick summary of his mission, including his Master's visit to the cells there. Master Satoru looked interested, questioning him further about the experience, drawing out Obi-Wan's frustration about what his Master might have been trying to teach him. By the end of that discussion, Obi-Wan had more ideas to pursue, and maybe talk to his master about, and he'd settled further into his chair, no longer as nervous.

"How have your dreams been?"

Obi-Wan furrowed his brow. "Same," he said. "Some seem normal, and some are so familiar, it's like I've seen them before. Others were memories, but didn't seem to be triggered by anything."

Master Satoru nodded and recorded something on the datapad before him. "Did you dream on Jicynda?"

Obi-Wan took a deep breath. "Yes," he admitted. "I woke up a couple of times after I'd been released from the cells, feeling like I was being buried alive. The cells really are small, and they are underground. It was... uncomfortable."

"I see." Master Satoru made another note, then leaned forward slightly. "Any other dreams?"

Obi-Wan's shoulders tensed, and he pulled the gaudily decorated datapad from his belt pouch. He set it on his knee, in case he needed to refer to it. "Confusing, and... in some cases, disturbing."

"You often use those terms in describing your dreams," Master Satoru noted. "What do you mean?"

Obi-Wan tried to figure out how he could describe it. "Being buried alive has never really been a fear of mine," he said after a moment.

The Coelli nodded slowly. "What else?"

"One last night," he said with some difficulty. "I dreamed that Master Sorin puled on my braid again, but this time he spoke with Master Jinn's voice."

"What did he say?"

"That I was barely worthy of his time." He gripped the datapad, the helplessness and terror from the dream returning to him.

"Did you believe him?"

Obi-Wan stared at him, brought up short. "What?"

"Did you believe him? The words, the voice, the two together."

"I..." He hesitated, frozen. "Yes and no," he said slowly. "I woke too quickly to react in the dream, and when I turned on the light, I discovered that my braid had been caught under my arm. I thought that was what had triggered the dream, and wrote it down..." He paused again. "No, I didn't believe it." He became aware that his hands were beginning to hurt, and he forced himself to let go of his datapad, then set it on the arm of the chair.

Master Satoru nodded. "What else?"

"My second dream last night." He took a deep breath, struggling to release his anxiety into the Force. For an instant, he felt the same displacement he had last night.

"What about it?"

"It was difficult. The dream was... I don't remember much of the dream. I didn't when I wrote it down, even, only the things I said..."

"So there was some time between when you awoke and when you wrote it down?"

"Yes." In spite of everything he tried to do, his anxiety kept building.

"What caused that?"

"When I woke up, I said a name - the name of the Knight who attacked, I suppose." Obi-Wan got up and began to pace, arms folded across his chest. Healer Satoru leaned back in his chair, eyes narrowed as he watched him. "I don't remember the name. I was going to write down the dream when all of a sudden..." He paused, pacing the length of the small room twice before going on. "It was like I was drowning in this grief. I didn't know the Knight, Master Satoru. He was about my age. He'd turned against me, attacked me, and in the dream I didn't believe that he had, that he would, and then..." He paused to take a breath, trying to divert his anxiety. "My grief woke Master Jinn."

"What did he do?"

"He asked to come in to my room, and I invited him in. He just wanted to give me support and comfort. But after he was there, I felt like he shouldn't be there, like… he was out of reach and wouldn't return." He huffed in frustration and looked out the window, close to the little oasis. His hands clenched tighter, knuckles white. "I don't know to explain it better," he said without turning around. "Master Jinn said this afternoon that he felt like he'd stepped into an alternate reality. One in which he didn't exist. He asked me if I was uncomfortable with his presence."

"And you said?"

"That I wasn't. And that I did not understand why the Force would make me feel as if he should not be there." He sighed, and his grip loosened, arms dropping to hang at his sides again. "Eventually, everything became right again, and I wrote down what I remembered from the dream, and what happened afterward."

"What else?"

Obi-Wan sighed in relief, glad to be off that topic, even if only temporarily. "On the mission, I was so tired that I slept too hard to remember my dreams."

"What of any good dreams?"

Almost unconsciously, Obi-Wan smiled and turned around, leaning against the window. The tension drained from his shoulders as he told about the last dream he'd had the night before.

Master Satoru smiled in response. When Obi-Wan finished, he nodded slowly. "What do you think of these dreams?"

Obi-Wan sighed. That was his least favorite question, and yet it was most often the reason he visited the Mind Healer. "That's just it," he said, and moved closer to Master Satoru. "I don't know what to think. The one last night that woke Master Jinn. It was so weird, as if..." He trailed off, sinking into the chair he'd started the session out in. "As if the Knight were a good friend. Not a peer, because I didn't recognize him, but I still thought of him as a friend."

Master Satoru leaned forward. "How did it make you feel?"

Obi-Wan shrugged uncomfortably. "That was the one I didn't remember so well, that made me feel like Master Jinn and I had parted ways, permanently."

Master Satoru nodded. "How do you feel about it now?"

"Confused. Frustrated. At the time I felt betrayed. And I was grieving so much." Obi-Wan shuddered. "I'd like to forget that dream," he admitted. "I've never felt so... strongly about a dream. It's still... disturbing. I don't know the Knight, but I caught myself looking for him today and I don't even remember what he looks like."

To Obi-Wan's relief, the conversation turned to other topics, and it surprised him when a soft chime sounded. Master Satoru grimaced. "That's all the time you have. Master Jinn said you're reporting to the Council this evening?"

"Yes, Master."

The Coelli gave a wry smile. "I'd like to see you in two days, after the dining hall stops serving mid meal. Comm me if you must leave before then."

"Yes, Master Satoru." Obi-Wan stood and bowed. "Thank you."


	4. "No One Can Save You this Time" - Dream Theater, Take the Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The visit to the Council, and Obi-Wan has a question for his Master

The Council's antechamber was half the size of the Council Chamber itself. Lined with padded benches, it was a comfortable room. It was empty now, except for Qui-Gon, who stood patiently near the middle, waiting for the main doors to open. He checked his bond with Obi-Wan just as the lift doors opened and his Padawan stepped out.

Qui-Gon didn't know if his Padawan knew that the Council was checking up on him, through Master Healer Satoru. There was really no reason why Obi-Wan should know; Qui-Gon had arranged to have him speak with the Mind Healer after he'd had one too many nightmares, many of them along the lines of the one that had woken him the night before. That one had been the worst, however. Talking with Master Satoru seemed to be helping, last night's dream excepted. Still, the Council had asked Qui-Gon to keep quiet about the reports they got from Master Satoru. It chaffed Qui-Gon, to keep secrets from Obi-Wan. It could be dangerous; trust was something very sacred to his Padawan. He didn't think they knew just how dangerous it could be, losing that trust. They could easily lose Obi-Wan.

Qui-Gon smiled as Obi-Wan came to a stop before him. "Did you eat?"

"No, Master. I saw Reeft on his way out of the dining hall and stopped to talk to him. I'll find something after this report."

"We are likely to be here for a while."

"Yes, Master, I know," Obi-Wan said ruefully. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, Padawan. The heated pools were an excellent idea. How is Garen?" Qui-Gon asked. He had heard only rumors of the ill-fated mission.

"He is recovering. He was injured on their last mission, and Master Zanith is in long-term care in the Healer's Wing. I was glad to see him," Obi-Wan admitted. "It helped me relax before the meeting with Master Satoru."

"Maleni told me about Ceno Zanith. I spent my time in the pools with her," Qui-Gon explained at Obi-Wan's inquisitive look. "She's a good friend of his and has been following his recovery closely. She asked me where you were." As he spoke, he could feel his Padawan drawing away and growing more uneasy. Obi-Wan nodded, distracted, and Qui-Gon looked closer at him.

Obi-Wan's unease increased and Qui-Gon turned his attention away, looking back toward the doors to the Council Chamber. He felt his Padawan struggle to release his feelings into the Force. Slowly the anxiety calmed to unease again.

"Master, after we have spoken with the Council, I need to talk to you about Xanatos's betrayal," Obi-Wan said finally.

The request came out of nowhere, and Qui-Gon could only stare at him in surprise. Before he could recover, the Council chamber doors opened and invited them in. Covering his shock, he wrapped himself in serenity he no longer felt, and stepped in to face the Council.

Qui-Gon's part of the report went smoothly, eased by long years of practice. Unfortunately, the question Obi-Wan had voiced in the ante-chamber distracted him from the report his Padawan made. He wondered why Obi-Wan had asked about Xanatos. He had said little about his former Padawan for years. And yet...

Why had Yoda worried that Qui-Gon would leave the order to go after Obi-Wan? He hadn't when Xanatos betrayed him. Qui-Gon turned his gaze on Yoda, eyes narrowed, wishing he had some insight to how the small being thought. He'd asked his own Master, once, and Dooku had laughed. "It's hard for someone with so few years to understand Master Yoda," he'd said, and Qui-Gon had never quite figured out if his Master had been talking of himself, or of his Padawan.

After Obi-Wan had given his report, the council started in on routine questions, asking for specific details, wanting a better picture of the situation on Jycinda. Finally, Master Yoda brought the session to a close. "Well you have done," he told them.

"Thank you, Master Yoda." Qui-Gon bowed, hoping the rest of the Council didn't feel the relief that filled Obi-Wan when there was no mention of a mission.

"May the Force be with you," Mace said, and the two Jedi turned to leave the Council Chambers. In the antechamber, Obi-Wan let out a sigh as soon as the doors were closed behind them. "I'm glad that's over," he said softly.

Qui-Gon smiled slightly in amusement at his Padawan's relief as he led the way back to their quarters; Obi-Wan still had much to learn. But soon the memory of Obi-Wan's question sobered him. He wondered what was behind Obi-Wan's question, not to mention have doubts about his own reaction. They had not spoken of his former Padawan since he'd fallen into the poisoned pool on Telos except briefly after the incident, and then at the time of the trial. It had been enough to finally put all the events behind him. Xanatos had chosen his path. He'd thought Obi-Wan had made peace with it, as he had.

Once inside their common room, Qui-Gon headed straight to the kitchenette. He wanted a cup in his hands before they started this conversation. Obi-Wan followed right on his heals, apparently feeling the same way.

"I was certain they'd send us on another mission, Master," he said.

"Yes," Qui-Gon said somewhat distractedly, then turned to his Padawan. "Would you get some cups? Then we can have the conversation you wanted."

Obi-Wan nodded and fetched the cups as Qui-Gon began heat up some water for tea, taking comfort in the familiar motions. Fairly soon, they sat down at the table, tea steeping in the cups before them.

"Your comment surprised me, Padawan. What about Xanatos's betrayal did you want to talk about?"

Obi-Wan straightened, his eyes dropping to his tea before meeting Qui-Gon's gaze again. "When Xanatos first turned on you," he asked finally, "what..." He paused. Qui-Gon waited. "You said you were sad," Obi-Wan started again. "What else did you feel?"

Qui-Gon leaned back in his chair. He wondered if the dream last night had prompted the question, and put it aside to discuss later. Right now, he needed to answer Obi-Wan's question. "The first thing I felt was betrayal. Then I was filled with so great an anger I thought I'd burst." His voice was calm, serene, as was he. "I struggled with that anger," he added after a moment. "Even when I thought I was rid of it, seeing Xanatos brought it back. I spent a lot of time meditating to release it.

"When I returned from Telos with his lightsaber..." He paused and caught Obi-Wan's eyes. "I was... very sad."

Sad was not the word for it. He _had_ felt as if he'd been drowning in grief. He'd withdrawn from the rest of the Jedi, and only Tahl and Tenci, his first Padawan, had been able to keep him from doing something drastic. As it was, he'd thrown himself into his work alone, and refused to entertain thoughts of another Padawan, even though, as Yoda had put it more than once, "diminish the Jedi you will, if no new Padawan you take." His resolve had lasted until he'd found a despairing Initiate huddled under a tree in the Corner Garden.

"How long did you feel that way?" The question was gentle, and Qui-Gon wondered if Obi-Wan hadn't caught an echo of what he'd felt, so long ago.

Qui-Gon smiled slightly. "I felt that way for a long time. Once in a while, I remember him, as he was, and I feel it again, but the grief has faded. It's gone altogether when I spend time with friends, or when you do something truly ridiculous."

Obi-Wan straightened, eyes wide with a startled expression on his face. "I, Master? I do something ridiculous?"

Qui-Gon didn't know if the outrage were real or not; since Obi-Wan had returned from his year-long absence he had developed a streak of wry humor. "Yes, Obi-Wan. Such as climbing a sacred tree on Pervan."

Obi-Wan blushed and grimaced at the same time. "It wasn't on purpose, Master," he protested. "The boy told me his sister was stuck in it. I wasn't sure if I was relieved they believed me and so it didn't disrupt the mission, or disgusted that they didn't believe a citizen of their own world. I really don't like Pervan."

Qui-Gon smiled, then the smile widened as his Padawan's stomach growled. "You must be hungry. Go and see if there's anything left in the Padawan kitchen."


	5. "You are the Steps You Take" - YES, Owner of a Lonely Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan spends some time with his friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jahzea is mine.

Obi-Wan made his way down to the dining hall, his thoughts on what his Master had said. Sad, Qui-Gon had said he was, but what Obi-Wan had understood was that the grief his Master had felt at Tahl's death was almost a match for when he'd been forced to return to the Temple without Xanatos. How he must have struggled with it. And if Obi-Wan's own experience - even if just through a dream - were anything like that, he hoped he'd never to have to face it. He worried the dream might be somehow prophetic, and he didn't want that.

He grimaced as he stepped into the dining hall, determined to put it behind him. He could do nothing about it now.

Off to one side of the serving area was a small kitchen, looking somewhat like the kitchenette in his quarters although much bigger. Filling two of the walls were pantries, stocked with food. A third wall held a cooler, also well stocked. The fourth wall, across from the doorway, had a wash unit and heating units, and cupboards that held dishes and flatware. The Jedi had decided long ago that it was better to let ever-hungry Padawan have access to food. The decision had been made after the head of the kitchen complained one too many times that he was short on something he needed for the next day. It was to this area, dubbed the Padawan Kitchen, that Obi-Wan directed his steps.

Before he reached the pantries, he heard footsteps. Obi-Wan turned and grinned. "Siri. It is good to see you again."

The Padawan at his side was a slender humanoid, with blond hair and a charming smile. Just seeing her brought back memories of their first mission together. "I hadn't heard you were back."

"It's probably because we got in really late last night - or really early, depending on how you count it - so we haven't been around much today."

"I hope you've been sleeping," she said, linking her arm through his. "Because if you looked worse than you do now, you really needed it."

"Oh, thanks," he muttered good-naturedly, and they went into the kitchen.

Someone was already inside, standing before one of the pantries, staring into it. She leaned heavily on a walking stick, and turned when she heard their footsteps. "Obi-Wan. I'd heard you we're back."

"Jahzea!" he responded, stepped forward, and gave her a hug. "I'm glad to see you." He stepped back again, and his brow furrowed. Something was different, and it took him a minute to figure it out. "Hey! When did you pass your trials?" That was the difference; her braid was gone.

"Just after you left on your last mission," she said, unable to quit smiling. Siri opened one of the cupboard doors in search of food.

"What are you doing here?"

"This is my newest mission, keeping the pantries stocked," she said wryly, and gestured to encompass the small kitchen area. "It's to keep me from going crazy until the Healers say I've recovered enough to suit them."

"What happened?" Obi-Wan asked.

"On my way back from my first mission, the transport was attacked by raiders. They left empty-handed, but I didn't escape unscathed. The healers just released me from their wing, but I'm not well enough to go out yet." She smiled. "You must be hungry. I just restocked that cupboard to your left."

"So, you are free of Master Windu," Obi-Wan grinned, reaching in for some dark nut bread sealed against spoiling. It must have been recently baked; it was still warm. "Or is he free of you?" He ducked as Jahzea swiped at him with her free hand.

"Both, probably," Jahzea admitted. "I looked for you at late meal."

"I missed it," Obi-Wan said, grabbing a jar of his favorite nut paste. "I had an appointment with Master Satoru. Then I stood right outside the doors of the dining hall talking to my friend Reeft until I had to go report on the mission we just completed."

"How did it go?"

"Uh..." Obi-Wan searched through the cooler, emerging with the logani berry jelly. "The mission or the report?" Adding a knife to his armful, he went to a table in the main dining hall. A few other tables held Padawans he didn't know, but they ate quietly. Behind him, Siri still searched through the pantries for what she wanted.

"Both," Jahzea said, following slowly, "but I was asking about the report."

"I think it went well." He smirked slightly, giving her a sideways look as he sat down, and she sat across from him. "I think you've mellowed Master Windu," he teased as he began spreading the nut paste on one piece of bread.

Jahzea laughed. "What makes you think that?"

"He seemed less inclined to snap at us," Obi-Wan said, and Jahzea laughed again.

Siri joined them at the table, and the conversation turned to Temple gossip. When he had a chance, Obi-Wan asked about Jahzea's trials.

By the time Obi-Wan had finished his sandwich, the gossip had wound down, and he excused himself to go back to his quarters. He wasn't tired, but he knew his Master wanted to get their rhythms matching the temple's as soon as possible. Chances were good Qui-Gon would want him up early the next morning to get that started.

_Obi-Wan stepped from his bedroom into the common room and stopped._

_To his knowledge, there were three basic floor plans for living quarters in the temple: the initiates room, and singles and doubles for Knights. These were not the quarters he shared with Master Jinn, although that was what he had been expecting. They were the mirror image of those, and he stood for moment, confused. "Master?" he called tentatively._

_There was no answer. He stepped further into the unfamiliar common room, looking around. Some - most - of the items he recognized as his own, but a holo-still hung on the wall behind the couch that he didn't recognize. He moved closer to see it showed a boy, maybe seven or eight, with a tall, slender woman. Behind them was a non-descript dome house that could have been from anywhere in the galaxy._

_"Master?"_

_He flinched and spun, staring at the small boy with a darkly-tanned face and sun-bleached hair, standing in the other doorway. It was the boy in the holo-still. He could not answer, but his hand drifted up to his shoulder, to touch his braid. Shock filled him when he could not find it._

_"Master Obi-Wan?"_

_This shook him physically and he dropped to the couch, almost falling off because of the angle at which he'd been standing. The boy - a Padawan - his Padawan..._

_That was a greater shock. Instead of his Master's calming presence, he could feel curiosity and a budding worry through a bond in his mind._

_But..._

_The Padawan climbed onto the couch next to him, leaning on his arm, and Obi-Wan reached almost frantically for the remains of his bond with Qui-Gon, searching for answers. The pain from touching it brought tears to his eyes._

_The Padawan squeezed his hand gently. Obi-Wan didn't know when he'd taken it. "I miss him, too," he said softly._

Obi-Wan jerked awake and fumbled to turn on the light by his sleep couch, just aware enough to block off his bond to keep from waking his Master again. His eyes blurred with tears and grief that was not quite as strong as it had been the night before. It didn't make sense. Why did he keep dreaming about people leaving him? And did this Padawan - his, he recalled with a strange feeling - have anything to do with the Knight that had fallen? And what did he have to do with Xanatos - if anything at all? He recorded the dream and his questions with a decidedly shaky hand. He didn't get back to sleep for a long time.

Obi-Wan was right about his Master wanting him up with his alarm; he'd managed to set his alarm correctly the night before, and the day started as it usually did when they were at the Temple. The morning routine started with early morning meditations, then early meal, study time, and then his favorite - lightsaber practice. He'd learned to be careful, though, expecting a normal day, because every time he thought the day was going normally, something happened to make it change.

So it proved. They were well into their second sparring match when Obi-Wan, dodging his Master's blade, caught sight of a Padawan on messenger duty standing at the entrance to the salle. He didn't let it disturb him, pressing his attack when his Master became aware of the messenger. Qui-Gon defended, but then the Padawan felt a brief burning on his side and knew he'd been defeated.

"You're getting sloppy," Qui-Gon said, somewhat severely. "Run through the fourth kata while I attend to this. And do it slowly, Obi-Wan."

With a bow, Obi-Wan moved to where he could work without hitting his Master, closed his eyes, and began. The fourth kata was one he'd learned twice; both times under Master Zichri, but under gravely different circumstances. He set his feet, raised his lightsaber to a guard position, and after a deep inhalation, began. As an initiate, he used to put a face on his opponent, whether performing a kata or in a blindfolded bout. Ever since Bruck's death, however, he hadn't done that. Behind him, he could hear his Master speaking with the messenger, but didn't try to listen in, focusing on the kata. He made his movements precise, slow and even, the timing as exact as he could, but he didn't want them to be automatic - which was why, he was sure, his Master had said to perform the kata slowly. He pushed his thoughts away to the back of his mind and focused again on the kata - distraction from inside was no better than distraction from outside; both could get him killed. His lightsaber swept down to the right, a parry for an attack, then circled up to make his own attack.

"Padawan."

Obi-Wan stopped exactly where he was, balanced. "Yes, Master?"

"Master Windu would like to speak with me, as soon as I get cleaned up," Qui-Gon said, and led the way out of the room. Obi-Wan fell into step, just behind his right shoulder. "The kata looked good. Remember it when you want to capitalize on a possible distraction.

"Yes, master."

While Qui-Gon got ready for his meeting with Master Windu, Obi-Wan read some of the prophecies on the balance of the force. He'd read these so much he could almost quote them, their words comforting and alarming all at once. He wanted to see if he could find more that might explain further. When his Master left, Obi-Wan got in the fresher himself. He wondered what Master Windu could want, and if Qui-Gon would be able to tell him. He couldn't always.

He used to get worried that they discussed him, but he'd been Qui-Gon's apprentice for seven years now and hadn't caused any abnormal trouble for five (nothing like running away). He smiled wryly as he turned the water off and grabbed a towel. At least he'd made friends while he'd been gone. Merrick had probably saved his sanity. It had been a long time since he'd seen the weapon's master, not since... He paused, his tunic half over his head. There, again. He hadn't thought of the Monastery for some time, and this was the second time in two days. Not something he could dismiss easily. He pulled the tunic on completely, and recorded the thoughts on the dream datapad before wrapping the markers on his braid. He'd worry about it later - like after tonight. He needed to get some studying in before he met his friends later that evening. Speaking of that, he needed to comm Bant and let her know he was available to meet with them.

Halfway to the comm, he hesitated. Just because he wasn't called to talk to Master Windu with Qui-Gon didn't mean no new mission. He'd better wait until his Master returned to talk to Bant. Reluctantly, he retrieved his datapad and checked his assignments. He had remembered one that required research, an old mission his Master had filled before he'd taken Obi-Wan as an apprentice. Now was as good a time to go to the archives as any, so he left a message for him master and went. And besides, while he was there, he could check for any more prophesies, like he'd thought about earlier. After he finished his research.

The archives room was quiet, although he saw quite a few Jedi there, many of them with braids. A couple waved a greeting to him, but no one spoke and he didn't stop until he found a free terminal. He sat down, signed in, and began to work.

Obi-Wan had turned to the prophecies some time later, his report well started, when the Force nudged him. Checking the time, he realized how late it had gotten. In moments he'd downloaded the new things he'd found on the prophecies and logged out. He left the archives to go back to his quarters to meet his master and to find out if he could get together with his friends that night.

The halls were only a little busier now than they had been when he'd gone in. Most of the Jedi moved in the direction of the dining hall, but Obi-Wan turned the other direction for the lifts. Ahead of him walked a group of Jedi, obviously together. One of them looked so ominously familiar that it made Obi-Wan shudder, and he turned off toward another bank of lifts to avoid it. The feeling bugged him all the way to his quarters, a longer walk than usual, and he tried to figure out why he might have known that Jedi - the way he walked, the way he wore his robes - so well.

Obi-Wan stepped into the common room of his quarters and the first thing he saw was his Master, studying a datapad. Obi-Wan figured it had something to do with the Prophecy of the Chosen One; his Master seemed to be drawn even more to those lately. The sight, so familiar and calming, made him smile, and he relaxed. Before he could ask his Master what Master Windu had wanted, Qui-Gon spoke first, looking up.

"Is something wrong, Padawan? You look disturbed."

"No," Obi-Wan said, dismissing the odd feeling. "Just saw someone I thought looked familiar, but I couldn't place him." He sat down on the couch. "Can you tell me what Master Windu wanted? Are you going on a mission?"

Qui-Gon smiled at him. "We are, but there is no rush. Miro would like to take a look at one of the staves from Bel Meridah. We'll leave tomorrow, since you want to meet with your friends tonight, and you might want to talk to Master Satoru, as well."

Cheered by the good news, Obi-Wan got up to comm Master Satoru to change their appointment, and then to talk to Bant to schedule their get together.


	6. "I'll Wait it Out" - Winger, Down Incognito

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way to the Monastery.

Midmorning on the public transport stop meant few others waiting with them. Obi-Wan breathed in the still-cool air, tinted with moisture from the rain that morning. A light breeze ruffled his hair. He couldn't help smiling at the prospect of a visit to Bel Meridah. In spite of the reasons that had driven him there five years ago, he'd been happy.

"Looking forward to this trip?" Qui-Gon asked, a teasing note in his voice.

"Yes," Obi-Wan said.

The wind picked up briefly as the public transport pulled up to the platform, strong enough to blow Obi-Wan's braid off his shoulder. He picked up his pack from where it sat at his feet and followed his Master onto the transport. They easily found a couple of seats together near the back door. Obi-Wan's thoughts turned to his meeting with Master Satoru that morning. It had gone well, even if he only had a dream of Master Denk to report.

He hadn't dreamed much about Denk lately, not like he dreamed about Sorin and Toman. Maybe because he'd been apprenticed to Denk for such a short time. The mind healer hadn't known, either, and they hadn't discussed the dream extensively. Obi-Wan was glad for both. Nightmares about the worst time with two masters was enough.

The dream he'd had the night before was not as disturbing as the one in which Sorin spoke with Master Jinn's voice, at least, but few of them were. This one had taken place during a mission, a negotiation - he no longer remembered the details - from which Master Denk had expelled him for asking too many questions. Denk told him to find a place to wait for him and to meditate on what he'd done wrong. Once he found a place, he wasn't to move until Denk came to get him. Obi-Wan found a bench in the sprawling, beautiful flower garden, and had made himself comfortable. The warmth of the sun and the bench, the intoxicating smell of the flowers, and droning of small insects made the place all the more pleasing. Before he started his meditation, he sent out tendrils of the Force in all directions. His Master had a habit of sneaking up on him, and punished him severely when he caught Obi-Wan unaware.

Someone he didn't know beckoned to him from across the garden, and Obi-Wan stayed resolutely where he sat, as his Master had directed. He closed his eyes to continue his meditations. Moments later, a headache exploded behind his eyes, a clawed hand gripped his shoulder, and Master Denk demanded to know why Obi-Wan had ignored him. Confused and in pain, he couldn't for an answer before Denk pulled him to his feet. He'd explained in a cold voice that the mission had ended and had stalked toward their transport. Barely able to see from the pain, Obi-Wan had followed slower than usual, barely reaching it before his Master wanted to take off.

"We are here, Padawan," Qui-Gon said. His voice broke the memory/ dream into fragments. Obi-Wan opened his eyes and let his surroundings ground him back in the present. He followed Qui-Gon off the public transport and into the port.

It took them a while to find the ship to take them to the Maitrevah System, and then to settle into the area where the lower class berths were.

"You were deep in thought on the way from the Temple," Qui-Gon said after the ship had left Coruscant. The other beings with lower class tickets had all found places to spend the trip, and a low buzz of conversation filled the area.

"I was thinking about my meeting with Master Satoru this morning," Obi-Wan explained. "I had a dream about Master Denk last night." Irritation flashed down the bond from his present Master, quickly repressed and released into the Force, at the mention of Obi-Wan's former Master. He looked at Qui-Gon in curiosity. Surely Qui-Gon had never really met Denk before the time in the Council Chamber?

"Oh?" Qui-Gon asked, an invitation to elaborate. But only an invitation, not a demand.

"Yes. A memory of a mission I went on with him. The negotiation failed, and he told me it was my fault."

"What do you think?"

Obi-Wan touched his lightsaber briefly, reassured by its presence. "I don't know. I can't imagine the questions I asked had any bearing on it; I made sure to ask them in private, where no one else could hear. I never checked when we got back, either, because of course he was right. I'd forgotten all about it until I had the dream."

"It will be a matter of public record. Perhaps you should look into it."

Obi-Wan stifled a smile. "Another assignment, Master?"

Qui-Gon smiled, then reached over and gently tugged on his braid. "The more I give you, the longer until I can allow you to take the trials. You can't take your trials with assignments pending."

The familiar, gentle teasing banished the last of the tension from the memory dream, and Obi-Wan relaxed. They lapsed into a comfortable silence until Qui-Gon unpacked as simple meal from his bag. After they ate, they meditated, and then slept.

_The plain was dark, flat, featureless, and felt like ground that had been prepared for winter under his boots. The sky, too, was black, starless, with the line of just set sun illuminating the horizon that seemed to pulse, like measured breathing. To one side stood a small house. It looked like something he might have drawn as an initiate. It felt like home, like the Temple as he approached it after a long mission._

_Next to the house, stretching back as far as he could see, was a field of crosses holding stuffed men he'd seen on many planets with agriculture. They were to scare away the various predators from the fields. They were of differing sizes and shapes, but he could not make out any other details._

_From the Temple strode a dark figure, floor-length black cape billowing out behind him. He carried something to an empty cross and began to hang yet another stuffed man. There was just enough light to glint off the figure's helmet._

_Obi-Wan inched closer to the person, trying not to draw attention to himself. There was no where to hide, and the person in black had only to turn around and see him. But he - Obi-Wan couldn't have said why he thought the figure in black was a he - was intent on his work._

_Finally, the man in black stepped back, surveying his work, and Obi-Wan froze, surprised to find his lightsaber in his hand. Abruptly the scene shifted, as if it came into focus, and he saw what - who - hung on the crosses._

_Jedi. Mace Windu, Adi Gallia, Siri, Garen, Bant, Padawans he knew and didn't know, Knights and younglings hung crucified, dead and dying. Before that horror had completely sunk in, the house - the Temple - burst into flames and crumbled to the ground. He gasped in horror and shock, too loudly, and the figure in black turned slowly to face him._

_Obi-Wan took an unsteady step back. The helmet was a mask with dark eyes and a square cut, harsh mouth. The two stared at each other, then Obi-Wan stepped back again as the other pointed a menacing finger at him._

Obi-Wan jerked awake, eyes wide, and glanced at Qui-Gon. His master slept on. Obi-Wan looked around the wide area they'd bunked down in, but all the other beings appeared to be sleeping as well. After a moment lay back down, trying to dismiss the dread, carefully hiding it from Qui-Gon. It took a while for him to get back to sleep.


	7. "They Handed Us Down a Dream" - The Hooters, Where do the Children Go?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to the Monastery

The small spaceport hummed with life when they left the shuttle from the ship that had brought them there. The evidence of a regular life ease the last of the horror from Obi-Wan's mind, and he breathed a sigh of relief. They left the spaceport to catch the ground transport to the edge of town, and the feel of people around him banished the last of those feelings. They didn't converse on the ride out, the silence between them familiar and comfortable.

No one else walked the path to the monastery that Obi-Wan could see, and that cheered him. The sun had reached its peak when they landed, but the broad-leafed trees shaded them from the worst of the heat. The path brought to mind a lot of memories for Obi-Wan, both good and bad.

The first time he'd walked it, alone, certain he'd murdered his Master, and then the return trip to the space port, nearly at a run, the Force urging him out and away. The second time, he'd walked it – like this time – his master at his side, to return the borrowed staff. Of the two round-trip journeys (three, if he counted this one), he preferred the trips with his Master.

He caught Qui-Gon's inquisitive look out of the corner of his eye, and looked at him. "Yes, Master?"

"You look happy," Qui-Gon said. "Much better than you did when we left the ship."

"I am," Obi-Wan said

"I'm glad. What changed?"

Obi-Wan gestured to their surrounding, taking in the meadows of tall glass beyond the trees lining the path. "I have good memories of this place that outshine the bad."

"That's good to hear," Qui-Gon said.

When they arrived at the monastery, the gates stood open as ever. The flower gardens on the left of the path leading toward the front door added a riot of color. On the right, beings in the blue of the monastery residents worked the vegetable gardens, many of the plants flourishing. A few of the beings looked up as they passed, but Obi-Wan didn't recognize any of them.

"Welcome to the Monastery at Bel Meridah," the porter at the door said when they stopped in front of her. "Can I help you?"

"My name is Bennet Kenobi. I was a resident here."

The woman checked her datapad, then looked up and smiled. "Welcome home," she said. "Your friend?"

"My guest," Obi-Wan said. "He's been here before, and he knows the rules." He wondered if it were as odd to Qui-Gon as it was to him, to be the spokesman for them both.

"Excellent. Welcome," she said to Qui-Gon. "Enjoy your stay."

"Thank you," Obi-Wan said. "Is Ad'lai available?"

"I believe so," she said. "Do you remember the way?"

"Yes, thank you," Obi-Wan said. He led the way past her, pushing open the large doors entering the hallway. That hadn't changed, the halls matching his memory. He was glad of it.

The secretary this time was a man. Once Obi-Wan identified himself and Qui-Gon, the man informed Ad'lai of his visitors over a comm. At Ad'lai's answer, which they couldn't hear, he gestured them through.

The office looked the same as Obi-Wan remembered. The desk was maybe a little more scratched, and there were a few more books on the shelves, but not much else had changed. Ad'lai himself was much the same, too; there were more lines about his eyes, but they were as warm as they had been the first time he'd been in here, as was his smile. "Please, Bennet, Master Jinn, sit down," Ad'lai said with a gesture. He guided his hover-chair around the desk.

Obi-Wan and his master sat down, and Ad'lai's chair drifted closer to them. "It is good to see you again. I hope the reason for your visit is a good one."

"Yes," Qui-Gon said. Obi-Wan listened as his Master went on to explain their mission. "It would be an honor," Qui-Gon added. "Miro is interested in the materials used, in the construction, and would like a closer look. He believes the knowledge could help with our own practices."

Ad'lai steepled his fingers together and studied the Jedi over them. "I see no reason why not," he said. "If Merrick asks, tell him I give my permission. But he makes the final decision; they are his."

"Thank you," Qui-Gon said, and they both stood and bowed.

"It seems your old life agrees with you, Ben," Ad'lai said, smiling at Obi-Wan.

"It does, thank you," Obi-Wan said, smiling in response.

"You know who to see about the clothes if you wish to remain unnoticed, and about housing. How long will you stay?"

"No more than two nights," Qui-gon said. "We will take you up on the offer of clothes, thank you."

Ad'lai nodded. "I hope your stay is productive."

Once out of the office, Obi-Wan took the lead again, going straight to get them a change of clothes. He explained he'd only be there two days, and that they'd be speaking with Merrick; the woman there smiled and gave them both an extra change of clothes with the markers to identify the bags of clothes they would leave on her shelf. Taking the bags and the markers, they changed in the dressing rooms for the purpose, and returned the bags with their clothes in them. Hefting his pack on his shoulder, Obi-Wan led the way out again, going to find Merrick.

The weapons Salle hadn't changed much either, although the mats on the floor looked like they'd been replaced. Merrick stood where he always had, watching two men spar with the metal staves that were his specialty. He dressed like the rest of the men there, in the blue of the monastery, but with a wariness to his eyes that most of the men didn't have. Around the two he watched, others were also busy, some working on fighting without weapons, others sparing with staves or even the blades, a few going through exercises like his lightsaber katas. Against the wall to his right stood a racks of weapons, staves and blades, and padding for those sparing. Obi-Wan paused in the doorway, watching a moment and taking in the familiar smell of sweat, before venturing into the Salle. He carefully avoided those working, weaving between the groups as he made his way to the center where Merrick stood. Merrick's attention had shifted to him as he approached, and he nodded a greeting. "May I help you?"

Obi-Wan bowed. "I hope so. I've come to get a refresher course in using a staff," he said, a gleam in his eye.

Merrick's eyes narrowed, studying him, then widened with delight. "Bennet!" he exclaimed, and pulled Obi-Wan into a hug. "Welcome back!" Merrick let him go, and extended a hand to Qui-Gon. "It is good to see you again, too," he said when Qui-Gon took it with a smile.

Obi-Wan grinned. "Thanks, it's good to see you, too. Do you have a minute?"

Merrick glanced at the two men sparring. "I will soon. Can you wait?"

"Yes."

"Good. Grab a staff and get used to the feel again. You're welcome to use one of the blades, if you'd like," Merrick added to Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon bowed.

Obi-Wan led the way to the racks, picking out a staff. He joined a group going through drills, eyes on the man leading them. Qui-Gon did the same with a smaller group working with a blade.

It didn't take Obi-Wan long to fall into the rhythm of the drills. He forgot everything external as he wove through the basic steps and positions he'd learned and mastered years ago. When Merrick called for a general stop, Obi-Wan followed the directive with some regret, wishing it could have continued longer. He went with the rest of the students to replace the staff before rejoining Merrick and Qui-Gon in the back of the room. Merrick turned and led the way into his office.

The office resembled Merrick in its simplicity and functionality. A work bench took up one corner, cleared of debris and tools, and a staff (one of the collapsing kind, Obi-Wan noted) leaning against it. A desk took up another corner, the surface clear. Two chairs sat against the wall under the window that looked out over the Saale. Merrick ushered them into those and pulled the chair from his desk to face them. "What brings you back to the Monastery, and my part of it in particular?" he asked, getting comfortable.

Qui-Gon explained. Obi-wan watched Merrick, trying to gauge his reaction. When Qui-Gon finished, Merrick looked thoughtful.

"How long are you staying?" he asked, startling Obi-Wan. What did that have to do with anything?

Qui-Gon remained serene. "Only a couple of days," he said.

"Then you can stay with me, I have room for you both, and we can discuss it in further detail."

Qui-Gon nodded his acceptance, and Merrick smiled. "Good, thank you. Since we have a little time before late meal, I'd like to evaluate how much skill Ben has lost in the last five years before I give him his refresher course."

Obi-Wan perked up at that and glanced at his Master. He could feel Qui-Gon's amusement through the bond.

"I'd like to see that as well," Qui-Gon said.

"Excellent," Merrick said with a rare smile, and stood. Obi-Wan excused himself and went to get some padding and to select a staff from the racks, meeting Merrick in the middle of the floor. Qui-Gon stood outside the ring marked on the mats, relaxed.

Merrick started with a slow exchange of blows, much like the first time he evaluated Obi-Wan's skill. Obi-Wan returned the strikes with confidence, without the Force, the way he'd learned to use it the first time. That didn't stop him from seeing the blow heading for his ribs that he wouldn't be able to block or avoid. It knocked him backwards, and Merrick grounded his staff. "Not bad," he said, sounding only a little out of breath. "You're used to the blade, but I expected that."

Obi-Wan had to pause to catch his breath. He wondered briefly if he'd have a bruise in spite of the padding, and figured he probably would. He didn't care either way. "Thank you," he said. "Will you have time for a refresher lesson?" He could feel Qui-Gon's approval through the bond, and glanced at him with a smile.

"I would be honored," Merrick said. "If you have time, and on one condition."

"What is that?" Qui-Gon asked.

"I'd like to have a real spar with Ben tomorrow afternoon. I have time for a one-on-one lesson with him in the morning."

"Agreed," Qui-Gon said. "I look forward to it."

Obi-Wan refrained from a thoroughly un-Jedi-like cheer, but he caught the glimmer in his master's eyes and knew he'd felt Obi-Wan's excitement.

"For now, though, we have just enough time before late meal to clean up," Merrick said.

Obi-Wan went to return his staff and the padding, listening as Merrick and Master Jinn discussed teaching strategies. He thanked the Force one more time for leading him to two of the best teachers he could ask for.


	8. "I Don't Wanna be Nobody but Me" - Colors, One or Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Qui-Gon observes Obi-Wan

Qui-Gon kept an eye on his Padawan during late meal. Obi-Wan ate sensibly, choosing a vegetable soup and three slices of still warm bread. He practically inhaled that and went back for more. Around them, the low hum of conversation filled the large dining hall. Other people shared their table but didn't encroach on their space, and Merrick and the Jedi kept mostly to themselves.

Qui-Gon looked forward to the lesson tomorrow morning. He'd noticed briefly earlier today, and some the last time they'd been here, how differently Obi-Wan handled himself when fighting with the staff. He could explain part of it, at least, because Obi-Wan didn't use the Force, to help him blend in and not stand out as Jedi. Qui-Gon could guess that most people wouldn't know the difference. Maybe that explained the rest of the difference, too, as he tried to blend in. He'd done a good job. In all other things he acted the same, though, his intense concentration and the way he soaked up instruction like a sponge.

"Done?" Merrick asked when Obi-Wan set his spoon down after his second bowl.

"Yes," Obi-Wan said. Qui-Gon detected no embarrassment, either on his Padawan's face or through their bond, like he'd felt when he'd first met Obi-Wan.

"Let's go back to my quarters, then," Merrick said. They took their dishes to the moving belt taking them into the wash area, and then Merrick lead them away from the public areas of the Monastery toward the private housing. He stopped at a narrow door and pressed his hand to the plate beside it. The door opened and he ushered them inside. "Welcome to my home," he said. "An improvement over the last quarters you found me in."

Qui-Gon smiled. "Yes. Caves are not comfortable for such as us."

The room looked well lived in, neat and clean. Across from the door they'd just entered, a narrow sleep couch stood against the wall. A small table sat against one wall, two chairs facing each other across it. Cupboards took up half of the other wall, and a comfortable chair sat against the remaining blank wall, under a light that hung from a chain. A small table next to it held a datapad. A narrow door on the same led off somewhere unknown.

At Merrick's invitation, Obi-Wan vanished through that door into the 'fresher. Qui-Gon helped Merrick set up a mattress on the floor for Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan to share.

"Tell me why your friend wants to see my staff," Merrick said as they lay blankets over the mattress.

"Miro read about it in one of Obi-Wan's reports," Qui-Gon said. "It interested him, and he quizzed Obi-Wan pretty thoroughly. He would like to examine one, to see if he can use any of your ideas to make our own weapons more effective."

"Would he dismantle it?"

"I don't know," Qui-Gon admitted. "He will not if you ask him not to."

Merrick nodded, settling into a well worn chair across from Qui-Gon. "What do the Jedi offer me in return?"

Qui-Gon took the other chair. "What would you like?"

"More of the practice forms," Merrick said. "What I got from Ben has helped, but I could use more, for more advanced and interested students."

"I believe that can be arranged. Holovid?"

"Yes, please."

"We can do that," Qui-Gon said.

"Then I believe we have a deal," Merrick said, relaxing in his chair. "I'll send one with Ben tomorrow."

As if saying his name had brought him, Obi-Wan returned then, his hair wet. Merrick offered Qui-Gon the use of the 'fresher, and went in himself when Qui-Gon declined.

Obi-Wan sank down on the floor, smiling to himself. Qui-Gon smiled as well. "You look pleased," he said.

"I haven't forgotten as much as I'd thought," Obi-Wan said. "It's good to be here again," he added, his words slower.

"Would you like to stay?" Qui-Gon teased.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "No, Master. It is like being at the Temple, in a way. A feeling of being at home." He settled better, stretching his side.

"Sore?" Qui-Gon asked.

"Bruised," Obi-Wan said ruefully. "I forgot how hard those things hit, in the hands of a master."

Qui-Gon nodded, not too surprised when Obi-Wan closed his eyes. He felt a swell of pride as Obi-Wan sank easily into a healing trance. His Padawan had grown so much in the past years, from a boy terrified to move wrong to this capable apprentice - his, he still had to remind himself, still surprised - could and had taken on solo assignments and executed them with grace.

Obi-Wan opened his eyes when Merrick returned, and after a short conversation puctuated by Obi-Wan's yawns, Merrick retired to his sleep couch, and the two Jedi lay down on the mattress they'd help lay out. Within minutes of the light going out, Qui-Gon fell asleep - although Obi-Wan beat him to it.

Some hours later, Qui-Gon jolted awake, distress in his bond with Obi-Wan, to find Obi-Wan thrashing, struggling against something in his dreams. Qui-Gon shook Obi-Wan's shoulder gently to try to wake him. When that didn't happen, he squeezed tighter to try again.

Obi-Wan gathered the Force around him, then his eyes opened and he tried to toss Qui-Gon across the room. Qui-Gon countered, grounding himself with the Force automatically, noticing that Obi-Wan didn't seem to see him at all. "Padawan," he said firmly, and the Force pressure eased. Obi-Wan stopped struggling, and his eyes focused back on here and now.

"Master?" he asked, blinking in the dim light from the stars outside. Recognition filled his eyes. "I"m sorry. Did I break something?"

Qui-Gon let him go. "No. What happened?" he asked.

Obi-Wan slumped back to the bed. "I had a nightmare. About Toman." He shuddered. "Something I hadn't thought about in a long time." He hesitated, brow furrowed. "I felt... a darkness in the Force," he said slowly. "Like what drove me here last time."

That didn't surprise Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan had a sensitivity to the dark side of the Force, thanks to events that had driven him from the Temple six years ago. "Do you feel it now?"

"No. it's gone. I think it might have just been my dream," Obi-Wan admitted.

Qui-Gon lightly tugged Obi-Wan's braid. "Sleep, Padawan, or meditate if you cannot."

Obi-Wan nodded, lay down, and closed his eyes. Qui-Gon checked the Force around them before doing the same.


	9. "Living a Lie" - 98 Degrees, He'll Never be (What I Used to be to You)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is kind of short. Sorry.

Obi-Wan changed back into his Jedi robes, new bruises making his movements painful. The training session right after early meal hadn't added to them too much, but the spar right before midmeal had. It still made him smile as he clipped his lightsaber in its accustomed place on his belt, and then the collapsed staff on the other side, balancing the weight. He put the used blue uniform into the shoot as requested, and met his master in the hall. Together they walked to Ad'lai's office to say goodbye. His secretary directed them to where Ad'lai visited the gardens on the way to the gate. He caught sight of them and turned his chair to meet them at the main path. "I see you achieved your goal," he said.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan bowed. "Thank you for your hospitality," Qui-Gon said.

"You are always welcome, Master Jinn. As are you, Ben," Ad'lai said, bowing as well. "Have a safe trip." He turned to continue his visit through the gardens.

Obi-Wan adjusted the pack on his shoulders and fell into step behind his master, content to leave the monastery behind. He'd enjoyed the visit, but he didn't think it'd ever be home again.

They hadn't gotten far when clouds dimmed the sun, cooling the heat. Not long after that, Obi-Wan glanced back, then touched the staff. "Master," he said.

Qui-Gon stopped and turned. "Yes?"

"Would you mind if I… took some time to get used to this?" He gestured to the staff.

Qui-Gon smiled, as if he'd expected it, and nodded. "I'd like to see that," he said.

Obi-Wan flushed but stepped off the path and onto the lush grass. He pressed the button and the staff extended to nearly his height. The balance was exact and perfect, and Obi-Wan went through a basic exercise to get a real feel for it. He had no complaints - not that he expected any - and after a second exercise, he reluctantly collapsed the staff, clipped it on his belt, and stepped back onto the path.

"I thought you'd take longer," Qui-Gon said as they walked on.

"I would have liked to," Obi-Wan admitted. "But we're supposed to get this to Miro, and who knows if the Council needs us for something."

Qui-Gon didn't say anything, but the approval that came down the bond from him made Obi-Wan's steps lighter. They'd nearly reached the halfway point when Qui-Gon's comm unit chimed.

"Where are you?" Mace Windu asked when Qui-Gon answered.

"We're on our way back to the spaceport, Mace. It won't take us long to reach the edge of the city and the transport that will take us in. Why?"

"Kalifa Sendar has asked for assistance. The child of the ruling family on Nemorina has vanished. She requested another Jedi to assist in the search, and asked that the Jedi have a senior Padawan to help search outside the capital. You are close to the system and fulfill that criteria. The ship you'll need to catch leaves in two hours. Can you make it?"

"Yes," Qui-Gon said.

"Good. I'll send the basics of the system, and she'll fill you in on the mission specifics. May the Force be with you." The comm unit clicked when he signed off.

Qui-Gon put it away and looked at Obi-Wan. "It seems we have a mission after all."


	10. "I'm a Prisoner of Hope" - Ace of Base, My Deja Vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First meeting with Kalifa

Kalifa Sendar met them at the spaceport on Nemorina, a tall, willowy humanoid Qui-Gon had never met. "Welcome, Master Jinn," she said, a pleasing lilt to her voice. She gave a perfunctory nod to Obi-Wan, and then turned to lead the way out. Qui-Gon kept her in sight through the crowd streaming out of the spaceport, and he and Obi-Wan caught up to her when the crowd thinned. She led them to a parking area, and gestured them into a four-man vehicle.

"Halldor is Adolar," she said once they'd joined the rest of the traffic. "His daughter Dorlisa went missing yesterday, out of the private garden. Guards found her companion, an older woman who'd been with the family for a long time, asleep near the center. The Adolar has recieved no ransom demand as yet. Due to some political unrest, he has asked for the Jedi's help in finding her. I was here on assignment already. Thank you for arriving so quickly."

"How old is Dorlisa?" Qui-Gon asked.

"About eight cycles," Kalifa said. "She isn't prone to running off, her father said."

"Do you believe him?"

"Yes. I spoke to the servants and the guards. Even if she'd wanted to, sneaking away isn't easy. She has been known to hide, but the guards around the garden swear she didn't get past them. When she was discovered missing, they thoroughly searched the garden, including the pond. Dorlisa had no place to hide in there. Her nanny doesn't have a record of sleeping while watching the child, but the in-house medic found no evidence of drugs."

Qui-Gon frowned. They'd left much of the traffic and the city behind, motoring through higher class and ever richer neighborhoods. Houses and grounds grew more larger and more ornate the further they went. Ahead of them, he could see the Residence, a solid-looking building of warm tan. "You asked specifically asked for someone with a senior Padawan," Qui-Gon said. Obi-Wan shifted in the seat behind them. "Why?"

"I wanted to cover more ground," Kalifa said. "I cannot abandon my mission. Rumors run rampant here, of children kidnapped from the city to work in the gem mines." She gestured to the mountains in the distance. "More vanish from the country side. I believe Dorlisa is in the city, but the rumors are too persistent not to look into. Haldor has maps of the area, and contacts. Your Padawan is able to work alone?"

"In most situations," Qui-Gon said. But anything I wouldn't send him into, I wouldn't go alone. He didn't say it out loud. Obi-Wan's amusement came down the bond, which told Qui-Gon that he'd either gotten the thought or the gist of it.

Kalifa nodded. Qui-Gon felt a sharp coldness, and he glanced at her in surprise. She didn't look away from the road in front of them, so he filed it away to examine later. "We will do as you direct," he continued.

Kalifa nodded again. "I feel it would be more beneficial to have your expertise here in the city. Your Padawan will fit in with the people in the mountains, and is able to follow rumors easily enough. One young man won't cause the slavers to hole up like a full guard troop would."

"Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon asked, agreeing with her.

"I will go where I'm sent," Obi-Wan said.

Qui-Gon could feel Obi-Wan's anticipation through their bond. "When will we begin searching?"

The walls of the Residence rose on their left. Qui-Gon hadn't realized how close they'd gotten to the building. At the first gate, Kalifa turned off the road and stopped in front of it. An armed guard stepped out of the guard booth, weapon to hand. "Kalifa Sendar, Jedi, with two expected guests," Kalifa said. The man looked them all over, nodded, and stepped back. It took a couple of minutes before the gate slid sideways into the wall, and Kalifa drove forward.

The courtyard beyond held a wide selection of ground transportation, from a small personal two man transport to the large, formal transport for official functions. Kalifa stopped the one she drove near the far end. A Hanani in uniform came out of one door and waited respectfully as they climbed out. Kalifa lead them toward a different door, and had to repeat the words she'd said at the gate to a guard standing there. This time it took much less time, and the doors slid ponderously open, vanishing into the walls. Kalifa led the way in, down tall, wide hallways. They narrowed the deeper the Jedi walked into the palace, guards standing at attention at each of the cross halls. Kalifa stopped in front of a guarded door. The guards there did the same as the others, looking them over before stepping aside to let them in.

This hallway felt more lived in. "These are the family's personal quarters," Kalifa said as she led them down the hallway. A servant standing before one of the doors took somewhat longer in looking them over, and Qui-Gon noted with approval that the man held himself like a fighter. He finally gave a curt nod, and the door slid open to let them in.

Tall windows let in the warm afternoon sunlight, falling across burgundy couches trimmed in gold thread and an amber carpet. A white table reflected the sunlight onto the ceiling, lightening the room further. A man to the right of the windows stood, and Qui-Gon recognized Halldor, Adolar of Nemorina.

He stood about Obi-Wan's height. Care and worry aged him beyond the 45 cycles the Jedi records said he'd lived. The angle of the light emphasized the lines on his face. "Welcome," he said, moving into the sunlight. He wore something that resembled the uniforms on the guards and the servants, if finer. "Thank you for coming so quickly."

"Adolar Halldor, may I introduce my associate, Qui-Gon Jinn and his Padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi," Kalifa said.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan bowed. "We are honored, and sorry to meet under these circumstances," Qui-Gon said.

"I asked Master Jinn to help with the search in the city. The young man can follow the leads we've gotten in the countryside."

Qui-Gon stifled a frown at her terminology, but then let it go.

Halldor nodded. "Thank you. My daughter is dear to me. Her mother died some cycles ago, so Dorlisa is my only heir. It is of vital importance to me, and to my people, that she is found." He took a deep breath. "I know you have traveled far. Please, take some rest and refreshment, and we will meet again this evening to plan." At his words, servants filed into the room. "These will show you here you will sleep, and will show you back here after we have eaten. Jedi Sendar, if you will accompany me," he added, and she bowed to Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan before following him as he walked through a door near where he'd been sitting when they'd come in. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan bowed at his retreating back, then followed the servants out through the door they'd come in toward their quarters.


	11. "I'm Never Gonna Let You Down" - Ace of Base, Never Gonna Say I'm Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan gets his task and begins it - not without a dream to accompany him

They met that evening in a formal chamber, small but adequate. Obi-Wan stood behind Qui-Gon's chair and bowed when Halldor introduced his head of palace security and the head of city security. The Jedi and three Hanani sat around a map of the city, each of the Hanani reporting the results of their search.

Most of what they spoke of didn't really apply to Obi-Wan. He kept up with them, knowing Qui-Gon expected it, but he saw nothing that made him think someone avoided one specific part of the city. Once they finished there, they turned to him. "Most of the Gem mines are west," the city security chief said, pointing to the correct area. We hear rumors regarding kidnapped children, and they all seem to disappear into those mines. Or so the rumors claim."

"We believe it would be best to start in that direction," Kalifa said, turning to look at him. She didn't meet his eyes, and he wondered why. "You'll be able to follow the rumors that way. If they do lead you into the mountains, know that communication is iffy, and a mineral laced through our mountains has a negative effect on advanced electronics."

Obi-Wan started. "All advanced electronics?" he asked

"Yes, Padawan," Kalifa said. "You will not be able to rely on your lightsaber."

"Thank you, Master Sendar," Obi-Wan said, nodding to her. He wondered if he imagined the mocking tone behind the words, but no one else reacted to them, so he put it out of his mind.

"This will not pose a problem?" Halldor asked.

"No, Adolar," Obi-Wan said.

Halldor nodded and went back to the maps, working with Qui-Gon and the two security heads to coordinate where to search next. Obi-Wan paid attention to this, too - some because it added to his knowledge base, and some because it let him know where to find his master if something happened the next day.

They broke up before it got too late, and Obi-Won went back to his quarters with hand-held maps of the area he would visit and an order to pick up food from the kitchen before he went. He bowed his thanks, and trailed after Qui-Gon as he and Kalifa spoke.

"I am in the middle of delicate negotiations between the Adolar and some of his opposition," Kalifa said, in reply to a question Obi-Wan hadn't heard. "He, too, must be there. That is why I asked for you."

Qui-Gon nodded. "Could they be behind the kidnapping?"

Kalifa hesitated, then shook her head. "No, I don't think so. At least, their reaction at the news was as valid as Halldor's, and some of the security helping search is theirs. The negotiations did come to a point where agreement might be reached, and neither side is willing to break that."

"Understood." Qui-Gon stopped next to the door to their room and bowed to Kalifa. Obi-Wan did as well, and then followed his Master into their rooms.

Obi-Wan took some time to look over the maps they'd given him and familiarize himself with them, making sure that the road was well marked. No guarantee he'd keep to it, but at least he had a baseline.

"How do you feel?" Qui-Gon asked, settling on the sleep couch on the other side of the room from the one Obi-Wan knelt next to.

Obi-Wan put the maps away. "I am ready," he said. "I'm a little nervous," he added after a moment. "But I will do what I can."

Qui-Gon smiled. "You will do well," he said. "Are you ready for sleep?"

Obi-Wan took a deep breath, and let it out slowly, releasing his doubts and insecurities into the Force. "Yes, Master," he said, and slowly got to his feet. He carefully put everything in his pack to be ready for the next day. He turned off the light and lay down.

Sleep didn't come easy, but he lay still, meditating, and by the time he finished, he felt like cement filled his limbs, and he slept almost immediately.

Qui-Gon saw him off the next morning, armed with directions on a small guidance device to get out of the city, and a grease pencil to track where he went on the map, if he deviated a lot from the route given him. He tucked that into his bag. He wore his lightsaber on his belt, with Merrick's staff hooked next to it, both covered by his cloak. They stood in the early morning light, the sun barely brushing the top of the building behind them, in the courtyard they'd driven to with Kalifa when they arrived.

"Be careful, Padawan," Qui-Gon said as they waited for one of the attendants to bring out his transport. "Although you doubtless know you should."

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said.

"Contact me each night if you can, either on our links or on the communicator on the scooter."

"I will, Master," Obi-Wan said.

"May the Force be with you," Qui-Gon said as the small transport finally arrived, and with deliberate gentleness tugged on Obi-Wan's braid. Obi-Wan smiled, the friendship and love he felt flowing down the bond between them. He bowed to his Master, then mounted the old scooter and drove it back through the checkpoints Kalifa had brought them in by.

The directions from the guidance device took him in the direction of the mountains, through heavy traffic that gradually thinned as he left the center of the city. He also noticed how the houses became less elaborate, poorer, and by the time they gave way to cultivated fields, the traffic had tapered off completely. He paused a moment to take a drink of water and to get his bearings, matching what the little guidance device said with the map. Done with that, he started off again at a pace that would let him stop if he needed to.

He began to see houses off the road, generally quite a distance, and after the first couple, began to look for ways to reach them. He found a side road and followed it down to where he could see a yard with equipment in it. When he reached it, a burly woman looked out the door over a wide, high porch. "What do you want?"

"A bit of your time, please," Obi-Wan said, getting off the scooter.

Reluctantly, the woman nodded, but she didn't emerge, and didn't invite him in. Obi-wan stopped at the foot of the steps. "I'm looking for a girl who disappeared from the capital," he said. "Have you heard anything?"

"No," the woman said, relaxing a fraction. "We've heard nothing about it here. Did she run away?"

Obi-Wan had expected that, if not the question. "No. They're fairly certain she was kidnapped."

"Young, then?"

"Eight cycles."

The woman pressed her hands to her mouth. "I hope she didn't end up in the mines," she said, and Obi-Wan stiffened.

"The mines?" he asked.

"Yes," she said, stepping out onto the porch. "We have heard only rumors, you know, but I do know of some who have lost a child to the mines."

"How, lost?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Kidnapped, right out of their beds, and taken. Some were even seen leaving, and didn't turn at the call from their parents." She wrung her hands. "I hope that hasn't moved into the capital."

"Where are these mines located?" Obi-Wan asked.

"You're on the right road," she said, pointing to the ribbon of road he could barely see. "It's a while farther. Be careful when you get into the mountains proper. They have a lot of rock slides."

"Thank you," Obi-Wan said, and turned to mount his scooter. "I will be careful."

On the way back out to the road, he recorded his thoughts and where he'd gone on the guidance device, marking the physical map as well. Then he went on.

He repeated the conversation, at least the gist of it, two more times before lunch, and four after. Each time, they gestured him on in the direction he went. Eventually, the fields of crops gave way to rockier ground, with herds of large animals. Houses grew farther apart as well. He'd gotten to the foothills by the time the sun began to go down. He spotted one last house and turned into the narrow lane toward it.

A man working on an old transport looked up, his eyes squinting against the light. He wore a one piece outfit that covered him from head to toe, and was dirty enough that Obi-Wan didn't know the original color. He set down his tools and picked up a dirty rag, wiping his hands on it. He looked pleasant enough, but his wary look and the wariness in the Force made Obi-Wan take the time to look less threatening.

"I'm looking for information," Obi-Wan said, keeping his hand clear of his robe.

"What sort?" the man asked.

Obi-Wan hesitated. "Have you heard any news from the capital?"

The man paused, his wariness increasing. "Not much," he said.

"A girl is missing, about eight cycles old."

The man shook his head. "Heard nothing," he said.

Obi-Wan nodded. "Do you know anything about the missing children around? Rumors, anything?"

The man hesitated and leaned against the transport he'd been fixing. Obi-Wan spotted the long-handled shovel the man might reach for. "There have been a few," he said, even more wary. "We hear occasionally. Not this one, though. When'd she go missing?"

"Three days ago," Obi-Wan said.

The man shook his head, but didn't relax. "Nope," he said. "Too soon for news here from there."

Obi-Wan filed that away. "The rumors of missing children," he added. "Where do they say the children go after they're taken?"

The man scratched the back of his head with the hand farther from the shovel. "Most indicate in the gem mines all deeper in the mountains."

"Why those mines, specifically?"

"The mines closer in are regulated by the capital. They're cleaner, better conditions. Not so easy to hide little ones. The mines further out are dangerous." He relaxed, standing up from the transport and out of reach of the shovel.

Obi-Wan nodded slowly, thinking that over. "Why do those miners want children?"

"Gems collect in narrow spaces in the hardest rock, and it takes too long to drill through, or so I've heard. The kids can get in and get the stuff out."

Obi-Wan could imagine, and he hid a wince at the thought of the children unable to get out of there. "Thank you," he said, and turned to mount the scooter again.

"Nargi! Dinner!"

The man waved at the woman standing on the clear and clean wrap-around porch. "Where are you staying tonight?" he asked.

"Wherever I get when it's too dark to see," Obi-Wan said.

The man - Nargi - watched him for a while longer. "You'll never reach Kaniv's place before it gets too dark to see, and it's hard to see homesteads from the road." He rubbed his chin. "If you'll help me with the animals after, you're welcome to dinner and a bed in the barn."

"Thank you." Obi-Wan parked his scooter off to the side, and followed the man up to the porch built of mud and bricks. Nargi introduced the woman as Saren, his life partner. She looked about Nargi's age, graying hair pulled back in a bun. Her wrinkled face showed signs of laughter and smiles and hard work, and she moved with the grace of some Jedi.

Obi-Wan introduced himself, and bowed, thanking her for her hospitality. She smiled and invited him in, and he washed up while she set up another place at the small table. Conversation waited until they'd eaten most of the delicious food, beginning over a dessert Obi-Wan wished they had at the Temple. It centered around the news he'd brought, Saren's face going sad at the mention of the missing daughter (although he didn't say who's daughter he searched for), and included the news he'd gotten from the other homesteads he'd stopped at. The news of a garden going well from a close friend brightened Seren again. He answered as many questions as he could.

In return, as he helped bed down four legged beasts and some large birds, Saren supplemented what Nargi had told him about the rumors.

"Children who have vanished are small, but no younger than eight cycles," she told him, slapping away the beak of a bird that tried to bite her. "One or two were spotted deep in the mountains, but I have never heard of any recovered."

"Do you know how many have disappeared?"

She shook her head. "I don't."

"When did this start happening?"

"About five cycles ago," Nargi said, hefting a bale of fodder off a pile. Obi-Won took it when Nargi handed it to him, and set it down near Saren, who deftly slit the rope binding it together and tossing part to the birds. "Our neighbor's child."

"It nearly destroyed her," Saren said quietly. "She's still not quite the same."

Obi-Wan took another slab of the fodder and dropped it in the manger for one of the four legged beasts. "Does the Capital not send help?"

"They try," Nargi said, bitterness lacing his words. "But they don't know the area, don't know where to look, and the mines close up when they get close. They're too obvious, with all the soldiers."

Saren brushed her hands off. "I'll see to the dishes," she said, and let herself out of the barn.

"Up the ladder is a pile of hay you can bed down on," Nargi said. "Thanks for your help."

"Thank you," Obi-wan said. He climbed up the ladder. A short time after he heard Nargi shut and lock the heavy door, Obi-Wan took out his comm unit and contacted Qui-Gon.

"I am here, Padawan," Qui-Gon said through static, but still clear enough. "Any progress?"

"I'm getting closer," Obi-Wan said. "I should be in the middle of the mountains tomorrow, if the directions holds true. It's dark here," he added ruefully. "Very different from Coruscant."

"Yes," Qui-Gon said, his amusement at the comment coming down the bond between them. "All our leads here so far have turned into dead ends, but we will start again tomorrow. Sleep well, Padawan. May the force be with you."

"The force with you, too," Obi-Wan said through static that had increased, so that he had no idea if Qui-Gon had even heard him. Obi-wan tucked his comm unit away, and nestled into the hay. He slept immediately.

_Obi-Wan stood next to a pillar, from which a dim light emanated. About a meter beyond the pillar in front of him he could see a wall, although he couldn't see more than that. It stretched past the pillar to his right, disappearing into the dimness. Something moved against the wall - no, on the other side of the wall - and he stepped past the pillar, trying to see. The light didn't increase, but he could see now that the wall was transparent, holding water. He could see walls going off into the water, dividing it into at least three chambers, but he didn't know how far they went back. It reminded him of an underwater menagerie he'd seen on Velian, although empty, even though he knew he'd seen something._

_When nothing moved again, he looked around, turning to see the rest of the room. Across from where he'd stood, he could see a wide doorway, and he went through it. Dim light came from recessed lights in the wall and ceiling, and some in the water, making it glow eerily. The water stretched away into the dark, past the lights both inside and outside it. The large room he stood in reinforced his image of the menagerie. Ahead of him, the floor sloped shallowly into the water, extending a fair distance before dropping off sharply into darkness. The menagerie on Velain had pool like this, the shallows there for the sea creatures to flop onto without leaving the water and hurting themselves. Nothing moved in the lights, nothing disturbed the surface of the pool. This place seemed as empty as the one he'd just left. What was he doing here?_

_"What are you doing here?"_

_The voice echoed through the room, distorting the tone. Obi-Wan turned, and his eyes widened in surprise at the boy standing in the doorway he'd just walked through. "Bruck? Where did you come from?" he stammered. You're dead, his thoughts added, his mouth too stunned to add it. I saw you die._

_"I was invited." His old nemesis smirked faintly. He looked exactly as he had the day he'd fallen off the falls in the Room of Ten Thousand Fountains, although without the blood in his long, white-blond hair._

_"Invited by whom?" Obi-Wan demanded. But even as he asked, Obi-wan knew he should try to wake up. What had started as a dream had turned into a nightmare._

_Bruck waved him off. "That isn't important. There's something you ought to see," he added before Obi-Wan could protest, and beckoned imperiously._

_"Why should I follow you?" He really didn't want to ask that question. He groped at his belt for his lightsaber, and came up empty. He felt like he had back when Bruck had called him Oafy-Wan, especially at Bruck's knowing smile._

_"Because if you don't, bad things will happen," Bruck snapped. "You haven't changed much, have you, Oafy-Wan?" He turned and walked back into the room with the pillar, leaving Obi-Wan to wonder if Bruck could read his mind. "There's no way out," Bruck mocked him, his voice echoing from the other room._

_Something propelled Obi-Wan forward and he stumbled before catching his balance and resisting. It did him no good. The movement stopped when he stood next to Bruck, facing the chambers he'd first seen. He strengthened his shields and prepared himself for a fight of some kind._

_"Look," Bruck said, indicating the chamber directly in front of them. Obi-Wan didn't take his eyes off the other boy. Bruck rolled his eyes and backed away, pointing at the chamber again._

_Obi-Wan moved forward to where he'd pointed, careful to keep his attention on Bruck, expecting an attack from the back, squinting into the darkness. "Look at what?" he demanded._

_With a suddenness he didn't expect, someone pressed him to the glass, a hand between his shoulder blades. He knew it wasn't Bruck. Obi-Wan could still see him out of the corner of his eye, smirking at him._

_The chamber in front of him suddenly became clear, even if the light didn't increase, and he turned his attention back to it. To his horror, he could see his friend Bant, chained to the bottom of the pool as she had been in the room of Ten Thousand Fountains the day Bruck had died._

_Then he realized - remembered - this was all a dream. "Let me go," he said. "You can't hurt her. She's safe."_

_"She will never be safe," a familiar, sibilant voice hissed directly behind him, a voice Obi-Wan hadn't heard since the day Xanatos had fallen into the pool on Telos. The air around him froze, an all too familiar feeling. Obi-Wan gasped for breath, suddenly feeling like he drowned, and struggled to get free._

Obi-Wan started awake in alarm, gasping for breath, but his alarm gave way to confusion. Bruck and Xanatos? And some danger to Bant? He sat up and tried to gather his thoughts, but his mind felt clouded, slow. It felt uncomfortably like the first time he'd woken up on Arioch after his collapse at the temple. He closed his eyes to meditate, but it took a while for his thoughts to settle enough. He hadn't had to work to meditate in years. But eventually he reached the comfort he'd wanted.

Both his enemies in one dream? This was not like most of the other dreams he had. Those starred his former masters, or a Jedi he didn't know. Others that starred his Padawan, or the Knight he didn't know the name of but considered his good friend, he thought might be glimpses of the future. But while Xanatos and Bruck had chained Bant to the bottom of the pool in the Room of Ten Thousand Fountains, none of the rest of it fit the events. It didn't even make any sense! And what did Bruck mean? He was invited? That only added to the confusion of the dream.

It was close to part of his past, a part he hadn't forgotten, his memories, but every other time the memory dreams had recreated the events exactly. This one didn't fit the pattern. It reminded him of the dream where Master Sorin had spoken with Master Jinn's voice. And there was no way for him to see the bottom of that pool where Bant was chained in the temple without swimming all the way down. Besides, both Bruck and Xanatos were dead. There was no question of Xanatos surviving the acid of the pool he'd thrown himself into, and Obi-Wan had heard the crack when Bruck's head hit the rocks. The sound had given him nightmares for weeks, and the trial that followed had only made the nightmares worse.

Concern came down his bond, and he realized he must have woken his Master. He took a deep breath and let it out, surprised to hear it shudder. He released his confusion and anxiety into the Force with the next exhale. Feeling much better, he sent reassurance down the bond, and when he felt the concern ease, he lay down, and although it took him a while, fell back to sleep.


	12. "Time Stands Still" - Ace of Base, Perfect World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Qui-Gon searches, and finds a clue

Qui-Gon wished he were closer to Obi-Wan when he woke up the next morning. He couldn't quite put a finger on the feeling he'd gotten through the bond during the night, but it hadn't been good. Morning meditation helped calm him, and he gestured the door open just as Kalifa raised her hand to knock.

"Halldor is waiting to meet with us," she said, and turned away before he could ask any questions. For an instant, he felt a strong enmity from her - like he had the day she'd picked them up - but it disappeared as soon as it registered. He paused, then filed it away to think about later, and strode after her. Her voice sounded normal, the Force calm around her, but he couldn't shake the feeling that it was all a lie.

The servant let them through a different door into a tall, well-lit room with a large table in the center. Halldor, the head of palace security, and the representative from the city security force, a woman named Miqueta, conversed quietly, not looking up from the table when they entered. As they got closer, Qui-Gon noted the changes in the map from yesterday.

"We conducted a thorough search here," the rep from the city said, outlining an area on the map. A red line followed his finger, marking it. "We flushed out a few illegal businesses, but saw no sign of her, and none of the people new anything."

Halldor nodded, then looked at the Jedi. "Have you heard anything?" he asked Qui-Gon.

"Only that Obi-Wan feels he is drawing near," Qui-Gon said. "Communication was spotty."

"It generally is, out that way." Halldor gestured to take in the map, out the direction Obi-Wan had gone. "We haven't found anything yet that will strengthen communications."

"Where will you search this morning?" the palace security head asked.

Qui-Gon studied the map, taking in where they'd already searched. At a nudge from the Force, he pointed to an area to the northeast, near the edge of the city, to the north of the road Obi-Wan had taken out to the mountains. The area remained unmarked, so hadn't been searched yet. "I'll start here," he indicated an area about halfway between the Palace and the edge of the city, "and work my way toward the mountains."

"I'll start from the palace and go south," Kalifa said, indicating where she intended to start.

Qui-Gon listened to the head of city security as she explained where she'd stationed her forces. He took note of the streets so that he wouldn't stray into their territory by accident.

"Thank you," Halldor said. "Breakfast is in the dining room, and my cook is making a packet for your lunch."

A servant showed them into the dining room. Qui-Gon trailed slower, mulling over what he'd heard. They just had so little information.

"I am heading out to the area where you are going to search," Miqueta said as Qui-Gon picked up his lunch. "Would you like a ride?"

Qui-Gon smiled. "Thank you," he said. "I would enjoy that."

She smiled and picked out her own packet, and then led him out to the vehicle courtyard. They drove through streets that gradually narrowed from wide avenues to smaller thoroughfare, and increased foot traffic. Miqueta didn't speak to him, coordinating today's search over the comm. Qui-Gon didn't mind. He watched how the people moved and thought about how he wanted to approach this day's search.

Miqueta let him off at the corner, and he thanked her as he got out of the transport. She wished him luck and drove off.

Qui-Gon stepped out of the way of the foot traffic and oriented himself to the palace as he looked around to find a place he wanted to start. He started off down the street, following the flow of traffic. He matched the pace of the others, stepping out of the flow regularly to check alleys and to speak with the people inhabiting them. While he got a fair amount of information - and lessened his load as he gave out his lunch, bits at a time - he heard nothing about Dorlisa or what might have happened to her.

The force had stayed quiescent all morning, except for a couple of nudges, but as he passed by a business, it nudged him, hard, to go inside. He checked to see what it was - salvage and restoration - and pushed the door open.

The building extended further back than Qui-Gon had expected, both walls lined with transports. The back wall had a closed retractable door, going into the ceiling. The sound of bangs, curses, and drips came from the rear of the garage. The transports near the door looked in good shape, but as he walked toward the door and the noise, the condition of the transports worsened, at least from the outside. He stopped at the head of the last transport on his right, noting the booted feet sticking out from under the machine. "Hello?"

With a final clang and a hair-raising curse, a Hanani slid out from under the transport. He sat up, wiping his hands on a black-stained red rag. "How can I help ye?"

"Where did you get all of these?" Qui-Gon asked, gesturing at the transports.

The Hanani grinned. "Scavenged, most of them," he said. "Sometimes people drop them off, but usually I get them because they get left outside the city. If they're usable, I can restore 'em and sell 'em. If they're not, I can get parts from 'em, and sometimes sell those, if I can't use 'em. Looking for something?"

"Possibly," Qui-Gon said. "Did you get anything from the Northeast in the last few days?"

The Hanani scratched his head. "Let's see," he said. "Do you have a specific "northeast" in mind?"

"Beyond the edge of the city, probably, maybe within the limits, but not by much, and not too far from the main road."

The Hanani got to his feet. "I got a call about an abandoned transport a couple days ago, and towed it in yesterday. I'll keep it untouched for the next sev'n days, but then it's legally mine. Belong to ye?"

"No," Qui-Gon said. "But may I look at it?"

The Hanani winked. "Just in case, eh? This way." He led Qui-Gon through a door next to the larger one, and into a courtyard mostly full of transports that would never run again. A gate at the other end of the yard let out onto a quieter road than the one Qui-Gon had just left. Four transports waited just inside the gate, all of them in good repair, if dirty, and tagged. The Hanani navigated through the debris littering the ground toward the gate. He stopped next to the transport closest to the gate. It was large, closed, and filthy enough that Qui-Gon could see nothing through the windows. He opened the driver's side and looked in.

"Navigation is shot," the Hanani said. "Literally. Someone shot it up enough that it'd have to be replaced. I figure it's whoever left her; anyone else would have ripped it out."

"Did you find anything inside?"

"Nope," the Hanani said. "The boy that comes in to catalog for me will be in this afternoon."

Qui-Gon nodded and closed that door. She wouldn't have been up front. He opened the door to the back. "Did you see anything belonging to a little girl, in your initial check-over?"

"Nope. Did ye lose one?"

"I'm helping search for one," Qui-Gon said, and bent down to check under the seats. He saw nothing under the driver's seat - he didn't think anything could have gotten under there - but something pink caught his eye when he looked on the back seat, wedged between the seat and the back. He could just brush it with his fingers, but did not have enough room to get a grip on it. Narrowing his eyes, he concentrated on it, using the Force to ease it out. As soon as he could, he grasped it and gently pulled it out.

A child's bracelet, pink beads on stretch-wire. In the still of Dorlisa, had she had a bracelet? Qui-Gon closed his eyes and studied what he remembered. Yes, she had, and he felt this was what she'd worn.

"What'd you find there?"

Qui-Gon looked at him again. "Something that belongs to the missing child," he said, and held it up.

"Ye sure?" The Hanani peered at it.

"I am. May I take this?"

"Let me get the inventory started, with yer name and how to reach you, and yes, ye can take it."

Qui-Gon handed it over. "Thank you." The Hanani wove back through the yard to the building, and Qui-Gon contacted Miqueta. "I found something," he said when she answered.

"I'll send someone to you," she said after he'd explained. "Tell him we'll take the transport and all responsibility for what happens after."

"Thank you," Qui-Gon said.

He had just told the Scavenger what he'd learned when the city security showed up, four Hanani coming through the gate and swarming the transport.

"Well, that's okay, then," the Scavenger said, handing the bracelet over. "I hope ye find the girl."

"Thank you," Qui-Gon said.

The city security people offered him a ride once they'd hitched the transport up to theirs to take in, and he accepted. He spent the ride thinking about it, the bracelet loose in his hands.

The transport he'd found it in had come from the same direction that Obi-Wan had gone, on the same road he'd taken. Qui-Gon knew better than to rely on coincidence, but on the other hand, if the kidnappers had taken Dorlisa to the mountains, that road got them there the most directly.

Kalifa waited for him at the door from the transport yard, a dirty yellow sweater in her hands. "Another clue," he said, and showed her the bracelet.

Kalifa's eyes narrowed. "Whoever took her is trying to confuse us," she said, and led the way to the planning room.

They'd handed over the things they'd found to Palace security and marked where they'd found their evidence by the time Halldor joined them, interrupting their discussion of where they might do the most good for the next day.

"Where did you find them?"

Kalifa pointed out where she'd found the sweater, a bright yellow dot marking the address. "I found her sweater in a trash bin behind a bar," she explained. "Neither the bar tender nor any of the regulars remembered seeing her, and they would have, someone that young. Garbage pickup is today."

"A decoy?" Halldor asked, his voice reasonably steady, but his hands gripped each other hard enough to turn his knuckles white.

"Possibly," Kalifa said.

"I found her bracelet here," Qui-Gon said, pointing at the pink dot in the northeast part of the city. "A scavenger brought in a transport from out here." He pointed to another area, further northeast. "Her bracelet was wedged in the back seat. City security is going over the transport now."

Halldor released his hands with some effort. "Your apprentice is checking in this direction," he said, gesturing toward the mountains. "I would like it if both of you would check to the south, see if you can find anyone who saw Dorlisa. City security will continue as planned." He cleared his throat. "Thank you."

Qui-Gon and Kalifa both bowed as he left the room, and turned back to the table to revise their plan for the next day's search.


	13. "I'm Relying on your Common Decency" - Depeche Mode, People are People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan makes progress on his search

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said, voice raised to get it over the comm through the static. "People have stated they've seen a child that matches her description. I'm still…." With a squawk, the connection died. Obi-Wan tried to reconnect, but it wouldn't. He sighed and put it away.

He'd had a day that alternated between frustrating and productive. He continued in the direction he'd started, but slower now. He had to be careful or he'd go right past some of the roads - barely more than tracks - he needed to take. Those he took only because he had some information leading him to that next stop.

Near late meal, a homesteader had introduced a new element: a girl child spotted further east. He followed that rumor now, trying to find someone who had actually seen her. Most considered her a ghost, but the bits of description that had come with the rumor pointed to Dorlisa. A bright yellow dress - no sweater, but she could have lost that easily - and dark hair in sloppy braids, strands of it straggling around her face. He couldn't ignore the timing, either.

The sun had disappeared behind the mountain when he pulled into a small settlement, found only because of the lights. Once the sun went down, it got pitch dark, like he'd never experienced on Coruscant. It took him a while to identify the inn, but he finally parked in front of it and went inside.

It looked more like a bar. Everyone inside looked at him when he opened the door, but he ignored them. He approached the man behind the bar and asked about a place to stay and something to eat. While he ate, good food that filled and warmed him, he listened to the conversation around him. He heard about the mining conditions, some news from the Capital, although probably older than anything he knew about, although he didn't know. Finally, he heard something about what he'd hoped to.

"My cousin saw her again," one man said. "Shes got to be a ghost. There haven't been any slides since she's been on the slope. You know better than I do how unstable Chterer is. Not even a pebble, he says."

"A ghost? In the day light?" another Hanani asked, dirt ground into his skin. "And I've never heard of a ghost keeping Chterer from dropping something on anyone."

The first Hanani shrugged. "What else could she be? No living person could do that, I think a ghost more likely." The second one nodded his agreement. "Anyway, one of the women tried to go get her, and the girl vanished. It almost started a rock slide, but she made it out okay." He shrugged again. "I figure, if she keeps that mountain from killing us all or blocking the main road to the capital, I say leave her there."

The second Hanani nodded again. "It makes sense," he said, and then the conversation turned back to the news from the capital.

Obi-Wan had finished and sat, nursing his drink, when they broke up. The Hanani that had mentioned his cousin stayed behind shortly, his friends laughing as he searched his pockets for the money to pay for his dinner.

Obi-Wan stood and approached. "I can take care of that for you," he said.

The Hanani looked up, and then smiled. "Ah, I got it, thank you." He held up his money bag. "Appreciate it, though."

"Can you help me a bit?"

The man staggered around on the way to the bar to pay. "Yeah," he said with a smile. "Give me a second." He settled his tab, and then turned back to Obi-Wan. "How can I help you?"

"The girl your cousin saw," Obi-Wan said. "I'd like to know where she is."

"Why you looking for her?"

"She might be the girl I'm looking for. She disappeared from her family a few days ago." Obi-Wan figured probably about the time they started to see her around here. "I'd like to see if it is who I'm looking for."

"So you want directions."

"Yes, please."

The Hanani regarded him seriously, then shrugged and pulled a napkin closer, taking the pencil the bartender handed him. He drew a quick map, then handed the napkin over. "Good luck," he said. "If she's alive, be careful going up after her. The mountain is slippery and the rocks loose. If she's dead, I'm sorry for her parents, and hope she stays there." He nodded and left the bar.

Obi-Wan checked the map and laughed softly before he sighed. Then he turned to the man behind the bar and showed him the map. "He'd drunk more than I thought," he said ruefully. "If I get my map, can you show me the way?"

"Certainly," the Hanani said with a grin.

"Thank you," Obi-Wan said. He got into his pack and pulled out the map. He spread it out on the bar and found where he'd stopped. He put the crudely-drawn map on his own, but he couldn't make it match. Amusement won over frustration, and he smile wryly to himself.

"Right," the bar tender said, and leaned on the bar next to Obi-Wan. "Here's us. Take this road." He gestured to the map. "Follow it all the way here, and take a left when ye hit this fork. Make sure it's the second - you'll want to keep to the right on the first." He looked at Obi-Wan. "You'll go into a canyon, and Chterer will be on your left. The road is wide and should be pretty clear. They patrol it regularly, so if something happens, they'll take you to the clinic. If there's anything left of ye."

Obi-Wan grinned. "Thanks," he said. He rolled the map back up and stuck it in his bag, asked when he could eat breakfast, and went to his room. He tried to contact his Master with the comm, but it didn't surprise him when he had no luck. Instead, he meditated and sent his well being and determination down the bond between them. He got the same from his Master, and it took him no time at all to fall asleep.


	14. "Only Got Myself to Blame" - *N Sync, Drive Myself Crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan keeps going in his search. Qui-Gon starts a new one.

Obi-Wan woke early and got moving before the sun had completely risen, getting his breakfast to go. As he started to recognize the landmarks the proprietor of the inn had given him, he slowed. The Force urged him on, on the other hand. He took the left fork, which he would have missed without the Force, and kept going.

He rounded a turn and slowed at the sight of a boulder-strewn slope, going slowly to scan the side of the mountain. He listened to the Force just as hard, stopping when it nudged him. He dismounted the scooter and scanned the slope again, slower this time. Dorlisa's yellow dress should stand out against the rocks here. The Force nudged him again, and he looked higher up than he had been.

There she was, like the Hanani had described. She wove through the boulders, most of them larger than she. Her dark hair hung lank and messy around her shoulders, her yellow dress dirty. He cast around, visually and with the Force, to find the safest way up to her. He paused long enough to send his success through the blond to his Master. Then he started up, going slowly, picking his way through the rubble and rocks. He angled his path so that he would reach a point the same time she did. He froze once, when she stepped wrong and sent stones raining down on him. She staggered, but regained her balance. He released his held breath as she started forward, and went after her again.

Finally, he caught up to her. "Dorlisa?" he called, and she turned to face him.

Her eyes looked dull, dazed, but slowly cleared as she stared at him. "Who are you?"

"My name is Obi-Wan. Your father sent me to find you."

She blinked, the last of the daze clearing from her eyes. "I can go home?" she asked plaintively.

The mountain shifted under his feet, and the Force urged him to move. He grabbed her against him as he gathered the Force around them and jumped. He landed a fair distance down slope, and an ominous rumbling warned him he didn't have much time.

He jumped again. This time he landed on moving, loose rocks and his feet went out from under him. He landed hard on his back, still holding the girl. With a groan, he started to climb to his feet.

A shove through the Force caught him off guard, and he staggered, losing more time. A boulder hit his leg and it snapped, and he fell. Using the Force, he lifted Dorlisa and set her down a fair distance away from the slope, near his scooter. Then the boulders slammed into him and buried him. He tried to send a warning through the bond, but rock hit his head and he blacked out.

* * *

Qui-Gon stopped when he felt that particular brand of excitement that meant Obi-Wan had some success. So he'd found her? The tension that accompanied the excitement made him certain something else happened.

They'd found nothing around the area where Kalifa had found the sweater, and they'd heard nothing from the guards searching where the Scavenger had found the transport. Qui-Gon figured that meant no news. But this could mean an end to that. Qui-Gon concentrated, feeling also his Padawan's urgency and sense of impending danger. He felt next a sense of purpose, then a fatalistic determination, and lastly, a warning of danger. With a burst of pain, the bond went silent.

After a moment of trying to reach his Padawan, Qui-Gon commed Kalifa, who had broken away from the negotiations to help search.

"Qui-Gon?"

"Something has happened to Obi-Wan," he said, his voice steady. "I believe he found Dorlisa, but I don't know what happened."

"Good news about Dorlisa," she said. "Do you know where he is?"

"Not exactly, but I can find him."

Kalifa remained quiet for a moment. "I'll take over here," she said. "If he did find her, it's worth going to check on. Miqueta can get you a transport, and I'll work my way in your direction."

Miqueta didn't question him, arranging for a transport to meet him at the cross streets. "Let us know if she is found," she said, signing off as the one-man transport arrived.

The driver got out, holding a map. "This is the road he took out of the city, and the guidance device will take you as far as he got before the interference kept it from transmitting. Comms are set so that if we hear anything, you'll get it until you're too far out to hear us."

Qui-Gon bowed and took the marked map. "Thank you," he said, and got in. He wound through the streets, following the guidance device's direction. Once most of the houses were behind him, he set the transport as fast as it would go, ignoring the side roads Obi-Wan had gone down and returned on.

It had started to get dark when the comm crackled to life. "Master Jinn," Kalifa said through steady static.

"Yes."

"He's in a small mining town called Shaft, badly injured and under care. Dorlisa is with him. We're setting out as soon as the Adolar can get away, and we'll meet you there. I've sent directions to your device."

"Thank you," Qui-Gon said, and the device beeped. He pulled over and transferred the directions from the device to the map, just in case. The static meant he would soon reach the extent of the transmission. Turning on the lights as the sun sank, he drove on. He'd gone a few more hours when the lights flickered and went out. Qui-Gon stopped the transport, wrapped his cloak around him, and meditated to try to reach Obi-Wan. He had no luck, so he made himself comfortable and went to sleep. As soon as the sky brightened enough that he could see, Qui-Gon started off again, pushing the transport to its highest speed.

The Force warned him an instant before the road made a turn into a canyon, and he slowed enough that he could stop before he hit the large transport in the middle of the road. Beyond it, he could see men working to get the larger boulders off the road, and Obi-Wan's scooter shoved to the side, much more battered than it had been when Obi-Wan had left.

"Can I help ye?"

Qui-Gon snapped his attention to one of the men. "Yes. I need to find Shaft. My friend was caught in the slide."

The Hanani nodded. "You'll be from the capital, then."

"Yes."

"Got a map on ye?"

"Yes."

The Hanani joined him as Qui-Gon spread the map over a large boulder on the side of the road. "You'll have to go back a ways, but the other road is open. You should get there soon enough." He pointed the way Qui-Gon would have to go.

"Thank you," Qui-Gon said and bowed. The Hanani waved him off and went back to work. Qui-Gon turned his transport around and started for the other road.


	15. "That Wicked Spell She Cast" - Kenny Wayne Shepherd Band, King's Highway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan wakes up and... is lost

Obi-Wan woke slowly. His head hurt, and the rest of him ached. He tried opening his eyes, but that made his head hurt more, so he left them closed and focused on determining where he'd ended up. He appeared to be on a sleep couch of some kind, but not in a private room. His sense of the Force felt distant, his pounding head in the way. Muffled voices sounded out somewhere, like he heard them through cloth or some other barrier. The smell, he realized after a moment, reminded him of the healer's wing in the Temple.

"I don't know that one."

Obi-Wan started in surprise. He had less of a connection to the Force than he'd first thought. He hadn't even sensed her there. He could feel her now, close, leaning over him, her hand resting on his chest. Something tugged on his braid, her other hand? Running down it, stopping at each of the colored markers in it. She named what each one represented as her fingers skimmed over it, and stopped at the black one he'd used to mark the year he'd spent outside of the temple. "I don't know that one," she repeated, her voice sing-song, melodic.

Obi-Wan started to say something, but he could barely get his tongue to move. Sand coated the inside of his mouth.

"You're awake," the woman - nurse? - said, and then a straw touched his lips. He sucked on it, and cool water flooded his mouth. He swished it around and swallowed, grimacing at the grit. He sipped again, and this time got clear water, cool and soothing. The straw moved away. "Don't open your eyes," she said, and seconds later a warm cloth brushed over his eyes and face, clearing away the sand and grit that had collected there. He heard water running, and then the cloth wiped again, clearing more out. "Now try," she said. "When you're ready."

His thirst abated a little, he could focus better. Something restricted his left leg and his right arm, and his back hurt. At least he knew he didn't have to worry too much about that injury, if he could feel his leg. His head still pounded. "The girl?" he croaked.

"She's fine. She's waiting for her father."

The voice sounded familiar, but Obi-wan didn't have the resources to waste on figuring it out. He concentrated on getting his eyes open. "More water, please?"

He could only see blurs, blobs of color he didn't try to make sense of yet. One of them, a darker roundish blob, moved. Seconds later, the straw touched his lips again, and he sucked. "Thank you."

The blobs around him slowly solidified into blue curtains, the equipment he'd half expected, and a Foilani woman who looked familiar, even down to her angry and disapproving look. She wore blue, lighter than the curtains around his medical couch. "Hello, Padawan Kenobi. It is good to see you again, and that is no lie,"

The sheer hatred in her musical voice brought recognition. "Di'ona," he whispered hoarsely. She looked no different than she had the last time he'd seen her, seven years ago when the council had banished her and the rest of his former masters. She did not, he noted randomly, wear the riches Taman had sported when they'd met two years ago.

He could see no way out except past her and through the curtains. If he could reach them, he would have space to move. He tried to get off the medical couch, and the movement sent pain ricocheting through his body and head so sharp he gasped for breath. His ribs ached as he collapsed back to the couch.

"Your left leg is broken," Di'ona said conversationally, as if he hadn't moved. "You won't be walking for a while. Your right arm is also broken, and you have cracked ribs. The bump on your head has to hurt." She hesitated. An expression of regret crossed her face that surprised Obi-Wan, and gave him hope. "You're so close to your trials," she went on, quieter. "It's almost a shame…." She paused again, then shook her head and the regret faded from her expression "Shame or not, you cannot be allowed…."

As soon as the regret left her expression, Obi-Wan tried to get up again, guarded against the pain he knew about now. He reached for the Force for help, but that made his head pound, and shattered his concentration.

She grabbed his arm, pinning it to the couch with embarrassing ease, and pressed a hypo-spray to his shoulder. "This is a neural blocker," she said. "It will help with the pain."

The liquid from the spray burned initially, but brought a soothing respite almost immediately. He started to gather himself to try again, the lack of pain clearing his connection with the Force.

Pain - not his, he knew it - pressed in on his mind, and he struggled to reach the Force. It retreated even as the pain in his own body numbed further. He might not have been able to use it, but he could feel it. With the retreat of the Force, his shields started to crumble. Pain from the others in the clinic - and the medics working there - crowded in on him, and he struggled to raise his shields again, trying to hide his fear from her. His frantic efforts to reach the Force only seemed to make it retreat faster. It confused him even more.

"The problem with this particular blocker," Di'ona went on, "is that it causes disorientation, and blocks a connection with the Force, if you happen to have one."

Obi-Wan barely heard her, trying to calm down enough to reach for the Force, the pain from the others overwhelming. He felt one last weak warning, and focused on Di'ona again. She held another hypo-spray in her hand, and he didn't want that near him. In desperation, he threw himself off the medical couch, catching her by surprise, and lurched for the curtains, away from the wall, for the room beyond. He saw a blur of movement, other beings in the same light blue Di'ona wore, more medical couches with curtains on either side, and a couple probably occupied with the curtains drawn. He found the main door and turned in that direction. He had to get out of there before he did more damage to everyone in here, had to draw her out so she hurt no one else.

Di'ona grabbed his uninjured arm, catching him by surprise, and pressed the hypo-spray into his shoulder. "This will be the end of you," she sang into his ear.

The malice in her voice only increased his desperation. He wrenched his arm from her grasp and lurched toward the door. Someone stepped in his way, blocking it, and he stifled a sob. Another being took his arm and he wrenched it away, hearing the words they spoke (and some yelled) but unable to make sense of them. They wouldn't let him out, and everything had started to blend and run together and he knew he couldn't let Di'ona get him again.

Something bright caught his eye, steady and not moving, A familiar nudge pushed him in that direction - the Force? He couldn't tell - and so used to following it, he went. A dark hole, surrounded by a brightness, beckoned to him.

It occurred to him, as he lurched over, that if the Force could direct him, he could use it. He tried to push away the beings crowded around him, and while it responded sluggishly, it did respond. With its return came also the pain in his leg and arm and back and head, but the connection remained clear enough to use to keep himself free until he could get into that cave. He couldn't bend the broken leg, but he could his other, and he pulled it in against his chest. Beings still tried to get him out and he kicked at them, his body responding better than the Force, in spite of the pain. He finally connected, feeling it both in his feet and his wrist when he broke someone else's. After that, they retreated and he gathered his resources for the next onslaught.

All of that distracted him from his shields, his fear of getting caught by Di'ona suddenly blatantly clear to everyone - even if they didn't know it - and the clinic erupted into panic. He knew, dimly, that he'd caused this, but he couldn't help feeling grateful for the further respite as the medics worked to get their patients out and away to calm them down. It helped him, too, because as they left, he could find himself better, know which was his pain and his feelings, and he could gather his strength for when they came in again. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his words echoing in his head and in the small cave he'd found himself in.


	16. "Only You Can Save Me" - Backstreet Boys, Drowning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Qui-Gon arrives

Qui-Gon slowed his transport when the narrow canyon he traveled in widened to a bowl. He could see a few buildings, all of them looking the same, weather beaten but sturdy. The Force directed him to one of them as people boiled out of the door, some on their feet and leaning on others, a couple wheeled out on medical couches. All of them looked terrified, and he could feel it in the Force. Qui-Gon parked haphazardly and strode toward the building they'd all come from, where he assumed they'd put his Padawan. The panic coming from there had the feel of Obi-Wan, and he wanted to stop it before figuring out what had happened.

"Wait!" someone called to him, and grabbed his arm. He turned to look at the Hanani woman, her eyes wide in fear. She didn't tug at his arm, but he could see what it took for her not to. "You can't go in there."

"What happened?" Qui-Gon asked gently. He didn't pull free, not wanting to hurt her.

"One of the patients went crazy. A young man caught in one of the worst rock slides we've seen in this generation. He got off his couch and away from the medic watching him, pushed us all away, and crawled into one of the machines." She gulped. "And then all hell broke loose." She shuddered. "Everyone wanted out of there."

Qui-Gon nodded. "Is he in there alone?"

She shook her head. "No. Malit is in there. She's best able to handle him since she didn't seem to be affected. If she can sedate him, we can get these settled in again." She gestured at the patients and staff huddled against the building a fair distance away.

Qui-Gon carefully took her hand from his arm. "I will be able to help," he said. "Keep them as quiet as you can."

He left her still protesting, but she wouldn't come any closer, and entered the building. He swept past the empty front desk to where he could feel the panic heavy in the force.

The room looked like a windstorm had swept through. Curtains hung half off the rods, couches missing - probably those outside with patients - or askew in their alcoves. Tall trays on wheels had fallen over, spilling their contents across the floor. Some of the equipment had been moved from against the wall and stood haphazardly in the middle of the room, scrape marks and clean floor showing where they'd been moved from. One machine, large and heavy, stood against the wall, a familiar foot sticking out of the cupboard in the bottom. An Equani female with light brown fur stood close to him, one paw on one of the still-standing trays that stood between her and the machine that appeared to be the center of the mess. She held a hypo-spray half-concealed in her other paw.

Qui-Gon looked closer at his Padawan's foot, managing to make out a stabilizer on that leg, the other pulled to his chest. His left arm rested on the stabilized leg, hand up as if in defense. Panic rolled off him in waves, battering Qui-Gon's shields. Now he understood the panic outside the clinic. He stepped toward Obi-Wan, and the Equani female threw out her arm to stop him. "Don't get any closer," she said, her voice low, a growly undercurrent to her speech. She didn't take her eyes off Obi-Wan.

Qui-Gon stopped. "I may be able to help," he said.

She looked at him, and recognition sparked in her deep-set eyes. "Master Jedi. He's terrified," she explained, looking back at Obi-Wan. "I don't know what happened, but I can't get any closer than this."

"I understand," Qui-Gon said. "Would you allow me to work with him alone?"

Her voice dropped to a near whisper, her words difficult to make out. "Wouldn't it be better to work together, to make it easier to overpower him?"

"I don't plan to try to overpower him," Qui-Gon said. "That might make it worse. I would rather you not get hurt while trying to help him. The patients outside are terrified and will need your expertise. I will try to talk him out."

The Equani - the medic outside had called her Malit - hesitated. "Are you sure you can handle him?" she asked.

"Yes," he said. "And I was not here at the onset of this occurrence. He may be able to tell."

She didn't look convinced, so he waited with at least outward patience. While he did, he extended his Force sense toward his Padawan. What came back to him alarmed him. His health seemed to fail as he stood there, something beyond just the broken bones and bruises. He wanted the Equani out of there. After what felt like forever, she nodded sharply. "I will be right outside the door, should you need assistance."

Qui-Gon bowed. "Thank you," he said.

She set the hypo-spray on the tray in front of her, and turned to leave. That tray moved, jerking suddenly to a stop when she opened the door. Qui-Gon waited until she closed the door again. "Obi-Wan," he said gently. "What happened?"

He got no answer. Qui-Gon stepped forward, projecting his own Force presence toward his Padawan. At the first step, the wheeled tray swooped drunkenly over to block his way. "I will not hurt you," Qui-Gon said as he stopped moving, but realized he could not get through his Padawan that way. For some reason, Obi-Wan didn't hear or didn't trust anything spoken. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Qui-Gon unblocked the bond he'd had to block to keep going, and accessed it.

_Obi-Wan stood in the small 'fresher in his room on the initiate floor, hair still damp from washing, plaiting his braid. He didn't have much left to do, only one or two more markers to wrap, when the door opened. He hadn't noticed that Master Denk had arrived yet, but there he stood in the mirror, looking angry. Of course, he often looked angry, especially when he came into Obi-Wan's room and didn't find his Padawan ready. With a nod, Obi-Wan acknowledged his Master, and went on with the markers, fingers moving faster as he tried to keep his Master from waiting too long, afraid of what might happen if he did._

_To his surprise, the image in the mirror began to flicker, both his and his Master's. He didn't stop what he did, watching as Master Denk flickered with Master Jinn, his own braid growing longer and himself aging. Eventually, the flickering slowed, settling on Master Jinn, and he wound the black marker onto his braid that he'd gotten because of his year out of the Temple._

_"Come, Padawan," Master Jinn's voice said gently. "It is time you left this place."_

With a jerk, Obi-Wan opened his eyes, squinting painfully to try to clear his vision. The dark around him helped shield him from the light further out, but he couldn't figure out where he was. "M-master?" he called hesitantly.

Immediately, shields formed around his mind, blocking out the pain and worry from alien minds, and Master Jinn's presence eased more of the hurt. "Yes, Padawan. I am here."

Obi-Wan started to scoot toward the light and his Master's voice, trying to find his way out. Qui-Gon's hand grasped his, and he gently pulled Obi-Wan into the light. He cringed and covered his eyes as Qui-Gon got him to his feet and leaned Obi-Wan against him. "What happened?" Obi-Wan asked.

"That's what I was going to ask you, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said, amusement threading through his worry.

Obi-Wan stared at him, wishing he could see his Master's face clearer. "I don't…" He furrowed his brow. "The little girl," he said slowly. "She was on the… hill. Kept moving away from me. Something… the whole thing came down on us when I caught up to her. I got her," he said, thinking through the fractured memories. "Protected her, got her to the bottom. And then…." He shook his head, wincing because that hurt and made the blurry room spin. "And then you were here."

"Your shields collapsed not too long before I got here," Qui-Gon told him gently. "Can you stand on your own?"

He thought he'd felt bad before, but as soon as he tried to step away from Qui-Gon, he slumped harder against him. "I really don't feel well," he said.

"Perhaps a medic can help," Qui-Gon said, and before Obi-Wan could quite understand what he'd said, his Master waved the door open and called to someone outside.

That someone joined them seconds later, furry fingers gentle on his face but forcing his eyes open. He couldn't pull away from her. "That looks…." The growly voice broke off. "Get him on one of the couches. I need to look something up."

Whatever Obi-Wan leaned against shifted (wait, he knew who that was), then carefully lifted him up. The movement made his head spin more than it already did, and he clenched his eyes shut and gripped the cloth under his hand. The movement as… his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, right, lowered him to the bed didn't stop it. His stabilized leg had begun to hurt, but he couldn't make his mouth work to say anything. The cloth came out of his hand, and for a horrid instant he thought Qui-Gon had left. He tried to get up and go after him.

"Easy, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said, and he rested his hand on Obi-Wan's arm. That calmed Obi-Wan, comforted him, and his panic eased.

"Here," the growly voice said, the one with furry fingers, and he felt them on his non-stabilized arm. "He's lucky. Someone poisoned him, and we have the antidote."

"Poisoned?" Qui-Gon asked, his voice sharp, and that distracted Obi-Wan enough that he didn't realize what the grip on his arm meant until the furry fingered one pressed a hypo-spray to his arm. He flinched away, too late.

"Yes," the growly voice said, the fingers letting him go. "I hope I got it to him in time."

"Thank you," Qui-Gon said, and then the bed moved, and Obi-Wan swallowed thickly as his head - his whole body, this time - spun again. The light outside his eyelids dimmed with the sound of closed curtains. "I will watch him," Qui-Gon said. "They'll need your help."

"Thank you," the growly voice said. "He should start to look better soon, if we caught it in time. Let me know if he takes a turn for the worse. If he falls asleep, it would help him."

Footsteps sounded, going away from him. After a short while, the noise in the room increased, voices and wheels and scrapes of something heavy across the floor making his head pound. Cautiously, he reached out, his arm flailing as he tried to find someone. Had Qui-Gon left? He thought he only heard one…

"I am here, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said, catching his hand and squeezing gently.

Obi-Wan relaxed, glad to know Qui-Gon hadn't left. The pain from his arm and leg - not to mention his head and everywhere else - came seeping back, and he struggled to release it into a Force that still felt too far away. "I can't… feel,..," he whispered. "Neu…." He couldn't get his tongue to work.

"Shh, Padawan," his Master said gently. "You can tell me when you wake. Sleep." Although Qui-Gon gave him the slightest nudge, he fell into welcoming darkness before he could protest.

* * *

When Obi-Wan woke this time, he didn't hurt quite so much. He found it easier to open his eyes, although he didn't want to, still feeling grit in them. But he did anyway, and he found they focused easier too. He could clearly see the dark blue curtains that surrounded his medical couch, and his Master's familiar and welcome face. He could also feel Qui-Gon's familiar presence around but not in his mind; his own shields were still down. "Hello," Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said and got up from the chair sitting near the medical couch. He stepped partially out of the curtains, and when he returned, an Equani medic came with him. He vaguely remembered her, although he couldn't say how, or what interaction they'd had.

The Equani smiled at him, then began to check his pulse, eyes, temperature, everything, writing it all down on paper with a stylus. She looked over the numbers, then looked back at Obi-Wan. "You look much better," she said. "How are you feeling?"

Obi-Wan tried to tell he that he felt better, but trying to speak made him cough, and that hurt. When the coughing fit eased, ribs aching and tears blurring his sight, he could feel his Master's hand on his arm. "Easy," Qui-Gon said, soothing. "Let's get you a drink. That should help."

Before Obi-Wan could respond, his shields suddenly slammed shut. He nodded, closing his eyes again. This time he meditated, thanking his body for the message it sent him. With the clamor his ribs made because of the coughing fit, he'd barely felt his arm and leg. Qui-Gon slid his hand under Obi-Wan's head and supported him as he half sat up. He tried not to gulp the water, clearing his throat between sips. Finally, he cleared most of the grit from his throat. "Thank you," he whispered.

"You're welcome," his Master said, and sat back down in his chair. Obi-Wan wondered when the medic had left. "Obi-Wan. What do you remember?"

Obi-Wan hesitated. "I remember the girl," he said slowly. "And the rock slide, and setting her down by the scooter. But…." His brow furrowed. "Not much after that. I remember the medic, but nothing about her."

"You weren't very coherent," Qui-Gon said. "Merit told me they thought you still unconscious when you stumbled into the center of the room. You didn't seem to notice the stabilizer on your leg. A medic touched you, but you pushed her off and crawled under the heaviest machine in the clinic." He paused, but whatever he wanted to find in Obi-Wan's eyes, he apparently didn't. "They couldn't get you out. You were projecting, too, which panicked everyone in here. Only Merit had the shields to withstand you. I found everyone outside across the street."

Obi-Wan felt his face heat up. "I'm sorry," he said. Then, after a moment of trying, he sighed. "I don't remember any of it."

"That worries me," Qui-Gon said, then he touched Obi-Wan's arm. "Is it necessary to block me?"

Obi-Wan frowned and checked their bond. He found a block, but nothing he did would remove it. "I can't unblock it," he said softly, struggling to release the panic he felt into the Force before he caused another exodus - not that he could, not with Qui-Gon there, but still - and then tried to relax when he realized he had no control over his shields, either. "My shields are locked," he added, sounding more stable. "This could be a problem."

"It could," Qui-Gon said. "I will mention it to the Council when we report. I will also request time off, for both of us, so you have plenty of time to speak with Master Satoru."

"Yes," Obi-Wan said, with perhaps a little too much relief. The thought of Master Satoru made him remember something. "I dreamed," he said.

"What did you dream?" Qui-Gon asked.

"I was in my room on the initiate floor," Obi-Wan said, his voice quiet, "getting ready to meet Master Denk, hoping I'd be done before he got there. I only had two markers on my braid. He showed up behind me, looking angry and impatient. But then, his image began to flicker, and so did mine. When it stopped, I was older - I mean, my age now - and you stood behind me. I was fixing the black marker."

Qui-Gon nodded slowly. "I see," he said. "And then what?"

"You told me it was time to go." Obi-Wan took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. No matter what he tried, he couldn't make his shields do anything.

"And did you go?"

"I don't know," Obi-Wan said. "I woke up before I even made the decision." He thought a moment. "So, yes, I think so, because it was while I was in that machine, I think."

Qui-Gon leaned back in his chair. "You will want to tell that to Master Satoru," he said. "We leave tomorrow to get to the capital, and will return to the Temple the day after." He stood. "I have to wrap up the last of this mission. It won't take much longer. Sleep if you can, or meditate if you can't." He smiled. "I am glad you're better," he said, and stepped through the curtains.

Obi-Wan took as deep a breath as his ribs would let him and let it out slowly, falling easily into the meditative state that allowed his body to heal faster.


	17. "Power that Gives You Strength to Survive" - Aretha Franklin, A Deeper Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Home sweet home.

Qui-Gon found Dorlisa with the other patients, uninjured and helping where she could. She accepted him as Halldor's envoy, and cheerfully talked to her father over the comm unit.

"I will send a transport for you," Halldor said to Qui-Gon, after he'd said good-bye to Dorlisa. "They will be there by tomorrow morning."

"We will be ready," Qui-Gon said, and disconnected. He glanced at Dorlisa, who had gone back to helping the medics. She seemed just fine. When he checked on Obi-Wan, he found his Padawan asleep again, so he went back out to help in the clinic, cleaning up and getting things back into place. He and Dorlisa shared dinner with the medics, brought in by the boarding house not too far away. Merit offered them blankets and a pair of the unused medical couches. Dorlisa slept almost immediately. And as soon as she had, Qui-Gon took his place next to Obi-Wan.

Dorlisa woke them all at dawn with her exclamations of excitement at the sound of the transport outside. It didn't take long to get Obi-Wan into a hover chair. His blue eyes were bright and aware, but only someone who knew him well could see the pain that tightened his eyes and the corners of his mouth. "Are you ready?" Qui-Gon asked.

"Yes," Obi-Wan said, and Qui-Gon could hear the relief in his voice.

The Equani medic touched the controls of the chair, and followed Qui-Gon as he moved through the front door to the transport. Dorlisa joined them at the front desk, dressed in something clean, her hair braided out of her face. She looked torn, caught between wanting to stay and wanting to go. She hugged all of the medics and some of the patients before going out to board the large transport. Halldor hadn't been able to come, and Dorlisa pouted only for a moment.

"He stayed behind, so he could get everything done. When you get there, he'll be able to spend time with you," her aunt explained, gathering Dorlisa into a hug. The girl gratefully returned it, and smiled when she pulled away again.

Obi-Wan dozed the whole trip back to the capital, leaving Qui-Gon free to talk with Dorlisa. He took care not to weary her with his questions, making a game of them, but when she fell asleep after they'd eaten lunch, he had no more information.

Halldor and Kalifa met them in the courtyard. Dorlisa abandoned the transport without a second glance, and rushed to her father's arms. Halldor gathered her up, nodded at Qui-Gon, and took her inside.

Kalifa helped Qui-Gon get Obi-Wan into the hover chair she'd met them with. Obi-Wan moved stiffly, leaning on Qui-Gon until he could sit down again. "Thank you," Obi-Wan said to Kalifa, and she nodded, relinquishing the control to Qui-Gon.

"There is food and a medic waiting for you in your quarters," Kalifa said. "Halldor wishes to speak with your Padawan this evening, after Dorlisa has gone to sleep. He will join you in your quarters tonight, if you will make yourselves available."

"Tell him we will be ready," Qui-Gon said, then glanced at Obi-Wan. "Ask him to let us know in advance so Obi-Wan is awake when he arrives."

Kalifa nodded and left them at the door to their quarters. Inside, the promised medic helped Obi-Wan onto his sleep couch, checked him over, and with few words, left them alone. Qui-Gon helped his Padawan eat - if not too much - and then let him sleep.

Qui-Gon settled down to meditate next to him, to clarify his own mind and figure out the best way to report to the Council. The interview with Halldor, when it finally happened, lasted longer than Qui-Gon would have preferred, but Obi-Wan held up remarkably well.

Halldor saw them off early the next morning, looking well rested and much better than he had when they'd arrived. "Thank you again," he said, bowing to them.

"We are glad to be of assistance," Qui-Gon said, bowing to him as well.

Kalifa helped him with Obi-Wan, who still moved slowly and stiffly. "Travel safely," she said, when they'd settled him into the Navigator's seat. Qui-Gon bowed, and then shot a look at her retreating back. She had activated the door, closing it, so he could not ask her about the feeling of fierce triumph that shot through the Force. Qui-Gon buckled Obi-Wan in, and then set coordinates for Coruscant. Obi-Wan sighed softly and fell asleep before they'd even reached escape velocity.

Once the ship had made the jump to hyperspace, Qui-Gon turned to Obi-Wan. He didn't like the block on their bond, but he didn't doubt Obi-Wan's words about not being able to remove it. He'd gotten used to knowing his Padawan's state. With a shake of his head - he couldn't change it with wishing - he closed his eyes, and meditated to calm himself.

He snapped to awareness just after Obi-Wan jerked awake, looking around wildly. He caught sight of Qui-Gon and sagged back in his seat, wincing in pain. Qui-Gon caught a sense of relief before Obi-Want turned away to stare out the window. "What happened?" Qui-Gon asked.

"They're getting worse," Obi-Wan murmured, barely loud enough for Qui-Gon to hear.

"What are getting worse?"

"My dreams."

Qui-Gon could hear a note of despair in his voice. "How?" he asked. He wished he could make these better, but he didn't know how, and he didn't dare try anything until he'd spoken with Master Satoru.

Obi-Wan took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "They mostly portray my worst days," he said listlessly, still looking out the window. "When everything I did was wrong, not matter how well I performed. When everything I said was a lie." He sighed. "I don't remember what happened until I dream about it."

Qui-Gon didn't press him, not wanting to increase his anxiety instead of easing it.

Obi-Wan rested his head against the headrest, looking out the front screen instead of the side window. His eyes started to droop again. "At this rate, she won't have to worry," he mumbled.

Qui-Gon straightened, both from his own alarm and at a nudge from the Force. "Who won't have to worry?"

Obi-Wan rolled his head to look at him through barely-open eyes. "Hmmm?" he asked, struggling to open them more.

"Obi-Wan, who won't have to worry?"

Obi-Wan blinked, struggling to wake himself up more. "What do you mean?" he mumbled, words slurred. "I don't understand."

Qui-Gon touched his shoulder. "Never mind," he said. He watched Obi-Wan relax and fall asleep, wishing he could stop the nightmares. He couldn't, and he knew it. Obi-Wan needed his sleep to recover. The night before had gone on like this, he mused as Obi-Wan jerked awake again, but it amazed him that his Padawan could function at all.

The pattern continued through the two day trip to Coruscant. Obi-Wan would fall asleep, then jerk awake too soon, wincing at the sudden movement. After a day, Qui-Gon convinced Obi-Wan to take the medicine Merit had sent. Even with the medication, Obi-Wan didn't sleep well, although he slept better. During those times that Obi-Wan got his sleep, Qui-Gon focused on the silent bond between them, like he had during the time Obi-Wan had left the Temple. He'd know if anything got through.

Finally, Obi-Wan drifted into a deep sleep, relaxing so completely that he looked boneless. Seconds later, the navicomputer beeped to let Qui-Gon know they'd reached Coruscant's outer sensors. Qui-Gon let out the vilest curse he knew. He'd have to wake Obi-Wan to get out of his seat, into the Temple, and to the Healer's Wing.

A healer met them on the landing pad with a hover chair. Qui-Gon helped Obi-Wan into it, and Obi-Wan sagged once he'd settled in. Qui-Gon followed them through halls less populated than usual, as many of the Jedi currently ate mid meal. Theela met them in the healer's wing and took over Obi-Wan's hover chair. "What more can you tell me?" she asked.

Qui-Gon explained what he knew in more detail as Theela deftly got Obi-Wan onto a medical couch and hooked him up to machines that would monitor him. She glanced at him in concern when he related what had happened on the way back.

"He couldn't sleep?" she asked, adjusting one of the machines.

"Not long enough to do him any good," Qui-Gon said.

Theela nodded absently, keying something in on the machine, and then turned to him. "And you?"

Qui-Gon smiled tightly. "I was not caught in a landslide."

If she'd been human, Theela would have rolled her eyes. "He'll be fine," she said, although not as sharply as she could have. "You can go and freshen up. These will let me know if something goes wrong." She gestured to the machines by Obi-Wan's bed.

Theela's suggestions came very close to orders, but did not quite reach that level. Qui-Gon nodded and pulled one of the chairs closer to the medical couch, sinking into it. He smiled wryly when Theela chuckled as she left.

He had to admit, though, that a short time in a 'fresher and clean clothes sounded good. The thought of a clean tunic for Obi-Wan, and a glance to see that he slept deeply, decided him. Obi-Wan already looked better than he had on the trip in, and Theela would take care of him. Even with those thoughts, it took him a while to actually leave Obi-Wan's side.

The number of Jedi in the halls had increased. Mid meal had ended. Qui-Gon nodded to those he knew without stopping until he got back to his quarters. The few moments in the 'fresher felt wonderful, as did the clean clothes, both as good as he'd imagined. He got a clean tunic for Obi-Wan, but on the way out, the Force nudged him as he passed the comm unit. He spent a few minutes getting Master Satoru filled in, and promised an appointment as soon as Obi-Wan recovered. He signed off and had just turned toward the door when it chimed. Qui-Gon waved it open and stifled a sigh. "Mace. What do you want?"

Mace sat down in one of the over-stuffed chairs. "Your message didn't say much."

Resigned, Qui-Gon sat down across from him. "I preferred to wait until we got back to give the full report. It holds… delicate information. Obi-Wan was injured, and his shields are erratic. He can't control them."

Mace leaned forward. "You are certain?"

"He told me himself, and he is sure."

Mace stroked his chin. "I'll inform Yoda he is off the roster for any missions."

"As am I," Qui-Gon said, his eyes firm when they met Mace's. "I will not leave Obi-Wan alone."

Mace grimaced, but nodded. "Do you know what happened?"

Stifling another sigh, Qui-Gon related what he knew and what he'd learned from others. "Obi-Wan is currently under Master Healer Ashthoret's care, and will see Mind Healer Satoru as soon as Theela allows visitors."

"Good." Mace stood and Qui-Gon stood as well. "Keep us informed."

Qui-Gon saw him out, then leaned wearily against the door. He just wanted to be at Obi-Wan's side. He picked up what he'd come for and strode out of their quarters, at least outwardly calm.


	18. "I Won't be Caught Between" - Queensrÿche, Best I Can

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Qui-Gon has questions (and gets angry at the Council again).

Theela released Obi-Wan the next morning with a warning to be careful. She pulled Qui-Gon aside while Obi-Wan dressed, and asked him to keep a record of everything that happened, and to report any oddity immediately.

Even though the dining hall served something throughout the day, Qui-Gon directed Obi-Wan to their quarters. He felt Obi-Wan needed the peace, and even with his shields locked so tightly, he could feel Obi-Wan's exhaustion. He picked at the food Qui-Gon made, looking like lifting the fork to his mouth took more energy than he had. He didn't each much. Qui-Gon cleaned up, keeping all his senses on his Padawan, trying not to show his concern.

"You have some time before your appointment with Master Satoru," Qui-Gon said, resting his hand gently on Obi-Wan's sagging shoulder.

Obi-Wan straightened, but not as much as he usually did. "Yes," he said. "I think I'll lay down before then."

Qui-Gon backed off as Obi-Wan climbed to his feet. "Would you like me to accompany you to your session with Satoru?"

Obi-Wan glanced at him, startled, and Qui-Gon barely registered the suspicion on his face before it faded, replaced by shame. "I… would rather go alone," Obi-Wan said.

Qui-Gon nodded, not surprised. Obi-Wan went into his own room, and Qui-Gon retrieved a data-pad from his, checking for any possible medical records on erratic shields. Ignoring the pull of the files about the Chosen One already on the data-pad, he did a search of the electronic archives, only to find a note that the search had to take place in the physical archives. Qui-Gon glanced toward the door, then turned to tap quietly on Obi-Wan's door. It opened, and Obi-Wan looked up from the gaudily-cased dream data-pad he studied under the light at the head of his sleep couch. His blankets had twisted around him, although they didn't look binding. "I think I'm too tired to sleep," Obi-Wan said into the silence between them. Exhaustion laced his words.

"I'm going to the archives," Qui-Gon said. "Would you like to come?"

Obi-Wan hesitated, then shook his head. "No, but thanks," he said. "I'll try to rest some more."

"Let me know if you need me. I have my comm on me."

Obi-Wan smiled wearily. "Yes, Master."

Qui-Gon left their quarters, musing darkly on what might have caused Obi-Wan's shields to behave so erratically.

Distracted by those thoughts, Qui-Gon lost track of where he'd gotten to until a half-familiar Force signature alerted him to someone's presence. He slowed and looked around. He found himself in the entrance hall. As an initiate, he'd taken every chance he could to go through there as he traveled around the Temple. He'd never lost that habit, or his love of the place. Now, he stopped and cast about to find the Force signature, matching it with a knight leaving in the company of elderly Master Tuun. The Master spent his days serving in the lower levels of Coruscant. Qui-Gon didn't recognize the younger knight with him, so he continued on his way to the archives, his mood improved by the light and space of the entrance hall as usual.

He'd nearly reached the Archives when he realized who he'd seen, and he pulled up short in surprise. It couldn't be. They'd promised. His mission to the Archives forgotten, Qui-Gon stalked back through the entrance hall to the lifts that would take him to Mace's quarters, struggling to release his rising fury into the Force. The door opened at his knock, and behind Mace, Qui-Gon could see Yoda as well. Good. That would save him a trip. He let the door close behind him before he spoke. "Masters," he said, less calmly than he would have liked. "What is Denk doing here?"

"Sit down, Qui-Gon," Mace said, indicating one of the meditation cushions on the floor. Qui-Gon sat down as asked.

Yoda met Qui-Gon's gaze calmly. "Why ask you this?"

"Why do I ask?" Qui-Gon asked, his fury gone cold inside him. "Please explain to me how at least one of my Padawan's former Masters is still in the Temple, after Obi-wan and I were both assured they were all gone."

"Denk's situation did not call for banishment."

Qui-Gon stiffened. "What?"

"Regret he did, what to Obi-Wan was done," Yoda explained.

"He had Obi-Wan for so short a time because he could not stomach what Di'ona had asked him to do for longer than that," Mace continued. "He told you how to remove the bombs in Obi-Wan's head."

"Yes," Qui-Gon said, and looked at Yoda, unwilling to calm down, as Mace tried to get him to do. "You told us they'd all left the Temple. That you'd banished them all."

"We didn't think Obi-Wan would react well to finding him here," Mace said. "He wished to stay. He spends his days with Master Tuun, under observation. He may never go anywhere else."

Qui-Gon took a deep breath and released his fury and frustration into the Force, only to find it wouldn't go. He'd have to meditate extensively to get rid of it. "The faith my Padawan has in the Jedi Council amazes me," he said, "considering what it has done to him." He glanced around the room to try to calm down even a little, before looking back at Mace and Yoda. "He had three masters who abused him. It took him years to recover from that. Before he could get over it completely, he felt he had to leave because the Council either didn't know they'd lost Toman, or knew and said nothing."

"Qui-Gon," Mace said.

"And then, when he was at his most vulnerable," Qui-Gon went on, ignoring the warning in Mace's voice, "the Council pulled a trick, using him as bait to bring Toman in, without asking his permission." Or mine, although he didn't say that aloud.

"Necessary it was," Yoda said calmly.

"So you said at the time," Qui-Gon barely kept from pacing. "Do you know where Di'ona and Sorin are?"

"Knights there are who check for discrepancies in tracers," Yoda said.

"The tracers are still active," Mace said. "We'll know if they remove them."

"Thank you," Qui-Gon said with a stiff bow.

"Qui-Gon," Mace said as he stood up to leave.

"Tell your Padawan of this you should not," Yoda said gravely. "Know it he does not need."

Qui-Gon swallowed his anger and resolved to calm down when he had a moment to himself. "Yes, Master," he said. "What do I tell Obi-Wan when he does meet Denk?"

"To us send him," Yoda said. "Explain we will."

Qui-Gon nodded and swept from the room. No matter what explanations they gave, it would not atone for the lies they'd told his Padawan.

He stopped in one of the smaller meditation rooms to calm himself, and then continued on to the Archives to do the research he wanted. He'd gotten a fair amount done when one of the messenger Initiates found him. "Master Jinn," the girl said, barely out of breath, bowing when she reached him. "Master Satoru would speak with you in his office."

Qui-Gon stood. "Thank you," he said.

The secretary ushered Qui-Gon in immediately, and it surprised him only a little to find Obi-Wan stretched out on the couch, asleep. Master Satoru stood to greet him. "Master Jinn," he said, bowing.

"Master Satoru." Qui-Gon bowed as well. "What is it?"

Master Satoru gestured to the chair in front of his desk, and Qui-Gon sat down. Master Satoru sat back down behind his desk. "Obi-Wan's shields are very…." He paused a moment, his mouth twitching as he thought. "He has no control over them," he finally went on. "Any friendly approach makes them go up, and an attack on him lays his mind bare. Nothing else works. Nothing we've tried so far has revealed the cause."

Qui-Gon turned to look at Obi-Wan. Even in sleep his Padawan gave off an air of someone exhausted. "What do you have planned next?" he asked, turning back to Satoru.

"I will continue to work with him. Until the cause for this loss of control is discovered, he must remain in the Temple."

"The Council knows we are not available for missions until this is resolved."

Obi-Wan stirred, and Master Satoru moved around his desk to keep him from sitting up yet. "How are you feeling?"

"A little better." Obi-Wan blinked slowly, then rubbed his eyes and sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the couch. "My shields are still up for now."

"Good," Master Satoru said. "I will see you tomorrow after mid meal."

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said, got to his feet, and bowed.

Qui-Gon could feel the emotions that filled Obi-Wan; frustration, fear, shame and an incredible weariness leaked through the block on the bond between them. He stood and walked toward them. "Come, Padawan. Let's get you back to our quarters."

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said, but Qui-Gon didn't turn to go. He set his hand gently on Obi-Wan's shoulder, then tugged lightly on his braid. Obi-Wan smiled, his eyes lighting, and Qui-Gon smiled back, relieved to see that smile. Only then did he turn to leave, hyper-aware of the young man following him as they left. He didn't know what he'd do if they couldn't get Obi-Wan past this trial.


	19. "I'm not Crazy, I'm just a Little Unwell" - Matchbox 20, Unwell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan searches and finds no answers

The next few days passed in something of a blur. Obi-Wan spent the first three sleeping constantly. He woke to eat and to speak with Master Satoru. That only happened once, and Obi-Wan couldn't even tell Qui-Gon what they'd talked about.

Obi-Wan woke the fourth morning feeling something vaguely close to normal. A follow up visit with Theela before mid meal confirmed that he'd recovered from the worst effects of the poison and the rock slide. With that diagnosis, his visits with Master Satoru became more consistent. When not with Master Satoru, he spent most of his time in meditation, trying to figure out why he had no control over his shields. He alternated that with trying to figure out why he couldn't remember what had happened before Qui-Gon had arrived at the clinic. Qui-Gon did what he could to help, but nothing they did got them any more information.

Obi-Wan tried not to lose hope, but contemplating his life with shields he couldn't control did not help. It could mean that he'd never leave the Temple again - maybe never leave his quarters. As often as the thoughts crossed his mind, he banished them. He didn't have time to waste on that. He hadn't run out of options yet. He tried to find a positive side, but only his lack of dreams came to mind. He didn't consider it a fair trade.

They'd been back a week when Reeft commed and wanted to catch up. They determined to meet in the dining hall, but when Obi-Wan disconnected, he remembered his shields. Mid meal wouldn't last that long, so he hoped. If nothing else, he'd have more information to give Master Satoru. He left Qui-Gon a message and went to meet Reeft. The two friends met outside the dining hall, and Obi-Wan relaxed when his shields held as they walked in. Once in line, Reeft launched into a amusing tale of what had happened on his last mission. He still hadn't finished when they sat down, and Obi-Wan listened more than he ate.

So caught up in Reeft's story, Obi-Wan didn't notice how the noise in the dining hall increased. When he became aware of it, he realized he could hear a lot of it in his head, and his shields had weakened significantly. Reeft stopped his narrative, his hand resting on Obi-Wan's shoulder. Obi-Wan had no time to explain or reassure his friend. Stammering excuses, he bolted for the door, wanting to get out before his shields collapsed completely.

Silence followed him, an indication that he'd waited too long. Near the door, a Jedi took his arm to stop him. Someone asked a question, but Obi-Wan didn't know who asked or who he should answer. Or even if. "I'm sorry," he said, pulling his arm free. "Please excuse me." The Jedi's touch had made his shields disintegrate faster, and he dodged the hands that reached for him. He didn't want it to get worse.

Once he reached the hallway, he sped up, weaving through the Jedi - still too many - going in to mid meal. He aimed for the stairs and the lifts, hoping for a lift. He'd take the stairs if he had to. Fewer Jedi took them, and he'd meet none, hopefully.

A group of chattering younglings stepped off one of the lifts, barely out of the creche, their shields weak, but still stronger than his. Obi-Wan careened into the stairwell and raced up. He paused after a couple of flights to catch his breath, and poked his head into the hallway to check for other Jedi. Still too many minds here, so he started up the stairs again, focusing less on his shields and trying a sort of walking meditation. Halfway up that flight, he panicked and bolted when someone opened the door behind him.

He alternated between exhaustion and panic until he reached his quarters, and the door slid shut behind him. Theela had told him to take it easy, he remembered now, as his Master looked up with concern. "Obi-Wan? Is everything all right?"

Obi-Wan collapsed onto the couch. "No," he said, hoping Qui-Gon couldn't hear his despair under the regret in his voice. "I should have known better."

"What happened?"

"I went to meet Reeft for mid meal in the dining hall. It seemed like everything was fine until a few minutes ago, when my shields started to… disintegrate." He looked up at Qui-Gon, then back down at his knees.

"Why did you go?"

Obi-Wan stifled a sigh. "I was so excited to see Reeft, and I really wanted to get out of here, so I said yes. I didn't have time to change it, when I realized the problem. And," he added, straightening and looking at Qui-Gon, "I didn't want to."

Qui-Gon looked at him for a while, and Obi-Wan felt conflicted about the block on the bond between them. He wished he could feel the disapproval he could see on his Master's face, but had to admit he'd rather not. "I will comm Master Satoru and explain the situation. While I am doing so, you will meditate on the wisdom of what you just did."

Obi-Wan didn't protest. Qui-Gon could have required anything, and Obi-Wan knew he'd gotten off easy in this case. He slipped off the couch to prepare for meditation, and heard the comm start up. He set his mind, gathered his thoughts to calm them, and his shields slammed shut so hard that it rocked him backwards. Qui-Gon turned from the comm, looking at him in concern, but Obi-Wan shook his head and closed his eyes.

Qui-Gon's hand on his shoulder brought him back. "Master Satoru is on his way to see you," he said, and then the door chimed. Qui-Gon waved it open, inviting Master Satoru in, as Obi-Wan got back up onto the couch. The mind healer sat down in the chair nearest Obi-Wan.

"Your Master told me what happened," Master Satoru said. "Do you think something has changed?"

Obi-Wan hesitated. "I haven't gone anywhere without my Master," he said slowly. "At least, not anywhere except to your office. It took some time for my shields to fall apart, and they did so slowly. It took a while for them to slam shut again, too. Not the same amount of time, though," he added.

Master Satoru leaned back, eyes narrowed as he stared at the wall. "I don't know what that means," he said slowly. "I will confer with Master Ashthoret, and we will decide on the next step. I would like you to keep track of what happens, and if anything like this happens again, let me know. For now, if you'll join me in meditation, I'll see if I can help you. If you don't mind, Master Jinn?"

Qui-Gon nodded and went into his bedroom, the door sliding shut behind him.

Obi-Wan settled easier, but within minutes, they both know the exercise wouldn't work. Master Satoru looked at Obi-Wan with an expression Obi-Wan couldn't read. "I am sorry," Master Satoru said. "I believe this will be a difficult road for you. But we will solve this puzzle."

Master Satoru stood, and Qui-Gon came out of his room to walk him to the door. They paused there, speaking quietly.

Given a minute, Obi-Wan realized how much the events of the day had drained him, and he wavered as he got to his feet. Qui-Gon caught his shoulder; Obi-Wan hadn't even realized that Master Satoru had left. "Sleep, Padawan. Master Satoru said you will need sleep to help you recover."

It never crossed Obi-Wan's mind to argue. "Yes, Master." He went into his room and collapsed on his sleep couch. He slept almost immediately.

_:"Calm down and we'll start again."_

_Obi-Wan nearly ground his teeth in frustration. Couldn't he see this was getting them nowhere? He glared at Qui-Gon, but then he released that animosity into the Force - it went sluggishly - and focused again on the meditation exercise. He knew he could do it; he'd done it with Bant not that long ago. He felt the presence of the Jedi Master and slowly let his shields down. He knew his shields were ineffective, but so far he hadn't been able to fix them. He'd spent too much time learning to shield the wrong way._

_Time passed with growing frustration as nothing he did seemed to work, and Obi-Wan's nerves started to give out. With that glare, had he just doomed himself, opened himself to further torment by this Jedi who would not take an apprentice? He began to tremble, and when Qui-Gon's mind-pressure eased, it made him even more nervous. Had the Jedi read his thoughts? That would be worse. His trembling intensified and finally, too frightened to keep his shields down any more, he snapped them back into place. The Jedi withdrew completely._

_"Perhaps," Qui-Gon said quietly, "we should work on how to keep people out before continuing with these exercises."_

_Obi-Wan's fear and tension warred with anger and frustration, building up to almost impossible levels. He looked down, twisting his fingers in the short grass. Why didn't the Jedi just invade his mind and be done with it? He couldn't stand the suspense, waiting for the familiarity of someone moving in on his thoughts without his permission. He hated it, but wanted something familiar, even if it hurt._

_He slowly became aware of Qui-Gon's gaze on him, not like any of his other Masters, or like the council either. This Jedi did not judge, and that made it worse. It made Obi-Wan feel like a Pleussian line-walker, working without a safety harness, and someone jerked his line. He finally looked up, unable to take Qui-Gon's gaze any more._

_"Is something wrong?"_

_Obi-Wan moved without thinking, striking physically and mentally, trying to make this Jedi do something, anything, familiar, and to make him look away. He struck his chest and face to distract him as he bored into Qui-Gon's shields, using a technique Toman had used on him more times than he could remember._

_And he was in, through the thick shields, reaching to control, to hurt like he'd been hurt. The body under him bucked as pain spread through it….:_

"No!" He awoke in an instant, more frightened than he remembered ever being. It hadn't happened that way! It hadn't. He hadn't been strong enough to break through his Master's shields then, and he still wast. Obi-Wan curled into a ball, hands fisted to hide how they trembled.

His door slid open and he hunched further under the blankets, not wanting to face Qui-Gon.

"Obi-Wan?"

"I'm sorry," he mumbled senselessly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…."

"Didn't mean to what?" Qui-Gon asked when he didn't go on. He didn't come any closer than the door, although Obi-Wan could guess he wanted to. Stupid block on the bond. He'd always kept his promise to stay out of Obi-Wan's room unless invited in, given long before he'd accepted Obi-Wan as his Padawan.

"I… I had another dream," Obi-Wan said, uncurled, and sat up. "Come in."

Qui-Gon stepped in, pulled the desk chair over to the sleep couch, and sat down. "What happened?" he asked, concern plain in his voice.

Obi-Wan took a moment to answer, eyes fixed on his hands in his lap. "I dreamed that I got through your shields," he said, sounding to his own ears like an automaton.

"When?"

"On Arioch. That day…." Obi-Wan paused, struggling to make any kind of sense. "That day I attacked you."

"What did you do when you got through?"

"But I didn't!" he protested. "I didn't, I didn't hurt you, I didn't even manage to dent your shields."

"No," Qui-Gon said quietly. "Only my jaw."

Obi-Wan stared at him. "But…." He couldn't express how he felt, the horror that had come through because of the dream. He took a shaky breath.

"It's okay," Qui-Gon soothed, reaching out to place his hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder. Obi-Wan relaxed again, tension draining out of him. "Master Satoru has some ideas. We'll get through this."


	20. "Another Misfit Kid" - Skid Row, Youth Gone Wild

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan's frustrations grow

Obi-Wan knelt on the mat in front of the couch in the common room, preparing for a long session. Master Satoru's words from earlier in the day had given him something to think about. "I don't know what it will take," the Mind Healer had said quietly at the end of his session. "I don't know if we'll be able to set everything right without doing some damage."

Damage. Obi-Wan played with the word for a moment, trying to come up with what Master Satoru might have meant. He'd seen someone with a damaged mind before, but he couldn't remember where. He only remembered that the woman had been young in spirit, almost child-like, barely able to care for herself. She'd been hit in the head too many times, her caretaker had said, and it had damaged her mind. If something like that were to happen to him….

Obi-Wan took a calming breath. First things first. He needed to find out if something in his mind kept him from controlling his shields, or if something outside of himself caused it. He settled his mind, closed his eyes, and sank into the first stages of a meditative trance.

He swam slowly back to awareness when he felt a pressure on his shoulder, and he flinched away before realizing the pressure wasn't a grip meant to hurt. He looked up into Qui-Gon's face and flushed. "Yes, Master?"

"You have been meditating for a long time, Padawan. Time to break and eat something."

Obi-Wan could smell something hot and spicy, and his stomach rumbled its agreement to Qui-Gon's words. He nodded and got to his feet to follow Qui-Gon to the table. He staggered, realizing only then that he'd meditated longer than he'd thought. It took most of the distance across the room for the stiffness in his legs to work out.

"Are you making any progress?" Qui-Gon asked once Obi-Wan had cleaned most of his plate.

Obi-Wan sighed and set his fork down. "I don't know," he said wearily. "I'm getting concerned. This problem isn't getting better, and nothing we do seems to work." He gave a weary smile. "Sometimes I find it hard to keep my spirits up." And it was hard to have to stay in their quarters, although he didn't want to tell his Master that. It sounded childish to him. Even when he could leave his quarters, he felt under guard because Qui-Gon went everywhere with him, and he felt guilty because Qui-Gon suddenly had no other life. He couldn't get rid of his frustration. No matter what he did, what anyone did, it didn't change. He had to struggle to maintain his own equilibrium.

Qui-Gon nodded. "I can imagine," he said, but didn't continue as Obi-Wan expected him to. "Bant commed while you were meditating," he said after a moment, smiling when Obi-Wan looked up again. "She'd like to get together and study with you after late meal."

Hope rose in Obi-Wan. "May I?" he asked.

"I think it would be a good idea. I don't want you to think of our quarters as a prison."

Obi-Wan gave his Master a sharp look. Had Qui-Gon read his mind somehow? No, he couldn't, and more importantly, he wouldn't, not without permission. Ashamed of the thought, he looked down at his plate again. When Qui-Gon mentioned he'd finished, Obi-Wan got up and took both their dishes to the wash unit. Once he'd finished washing up, Obi-Wan went to the comm unit and contacted his friend.

Obi-Wan never thought he'd find the Archives a nice change from his quarters, but he did now. Probably because he couldn't leave without a guardian, and he tried not to at all. He and Bant found an unoccupied table in the back, and they began to work through the assignments they'd been assigned, talking quietly together. 

They had to look up information in the physical archives, and once settled, they started, speaking quietly as they worked, retrieving tomes to find what they needed. Obi-Wan had just retrieved another to look through when Bant nudged him. "I have a question," she whispered. "What happened to you at mid meal with Reeft?"

Obi-Wan stared at her. "What?"

"He said you ran out of the dining hall like a Sith was after you. And then I heard that something was wrong with you, because Master Ilian tried to stop you and you shrugged her off and kept running."

Obi-Wan felt himself blush. "Oh," he said, trying to hide his embarrassment. "My shields collapsed. When Master Ilian touched me, it made them go faster." He sighed. "I probably shouldn't have even come here tonight, but I needed to get out for a while." Now that he paid attention, he could tell the noise in his head increased again, if not as starkly as in the dining hall because fewer Jedi needed to use the Archives. How had he and his Master forgotten that he could not control his shields? He could tell they crumbled again, and he sighed. He started to gather his things, then got out his personal comm unit.

"Obi-Wan?" Bant asked, sounding concerned.

"I… Just a second," Obi-Wan said, stepping away from the table to give himself more privacy, and commed Qui-Gon.

"Yes, Obi-Wan?"

"I'm leaving the archives now," Obi-Wan said bluntly. He'd have already left, except he owned Bant an explanation, and he wanted to tell her anyway. "My shields are failing again."

"Wait," Qui-Gon said, with enough of a command in his voice that Obi-Wan stopped, half-turned to go back to Bant. To his surprise, Qui-Gon appeared around the stacks in front of him. Confused, Obi-Wan watched his Master approach, absently thumbing off his comm unit. He glanced once at Bant, who watched him, concert and curiosity in the Force around her. "I did not wish to deceive you, Padawan," Qui-Gon said, his hand resting gently on Obi-Wan's shoulder. "Master Satoru and Theela asked for help to determine your shields act in various circumstances."

As soon as Qui-Gon stopped speaking, Obi-Wan's shields slammed up again, and he winced. Relieved that he didn't have to make another mad dash to his quarters, Obi-Wan nodded. "Return to your studies. I will not leave until you are ready," With a gentle tug on Obi-Wan's braid, Qui-Gon turned and went into the same stacks he'd come out of.

"What was that about?" Bant asked when Obi-Wan sat down next to her again, setting his things back down.

Obi-Wan sighed. "Something happened to my shields last mission," he said. "That's why they collapsed when I was eating with Reeft. I wanted out so badly tonight - and then - that I didn't think." Oh, so Jedi-like, he thought to himself, and grimaced. "My master didn't stop me from going out because we need more information about how my shields react to different situations." He shrugged, giving her a weak grin.

Bant smiled back, and they went back to their studies. Obi-Wan found it hard to concentrate, and finally gave up. "I can't stay," he said. "I'm sure my Master has things he'd rather do."

"I'm done, too," Bant said, sounding like she understood. They replaced the records they'd gotten out and went to find Master Jinn.

A few days later, Bant commed again, but this time she suggested they spar or go to the Room of Ten Thousand Fountains. Obi-Wan hesitated, and glanced at Qui-Gon. "What about the Heated Pools?" He didn't think he'd actually get to go, but he figured his Master would rather go there than to either of the places Bant had suggested.

"Sure," Bant said.

Obi-Wan hesitated, but before he could say anything else, Qui-Gon looked up from the data-pad he studied. "That sounds lovely," he said. "Would you mind if I came along?"

Obi-Wan had never been so glad of the block on their bond when resentment flared up. He squelched it to investigate later, hoping none got out into the Force. "No," he said, his voice carefully neutral. "That would be fine."

They left a few minutes later, towels over their shoulders. Obi-Wan said nothing, working to come to grips with the strange feelings he'd had. He'd never resented Qui-Gon, not even before he'd taken Obi-Wan as his apprentice. He didn't like this development.

When they reached the Heated Pools, Bant stood just inside the door. "It's pretty full today," she said, bowing to Master Jinn.

Qui-Gon turned to Obi-Wan. "Find a place you like. I will find one close by." He held up his comm unit. "Contact me when you are ready to go."

Obi-Wan bowed and followed Bant through the foliage. They found an unoccupied pool in the back corner, and Obi-Wan sank into it gratefully. "Thank you for comming me," he said as Bant sat next to him. "Whoever did this must have wanted to drive me crazy."

"Why?" Bant asked.

"I feel like a prisoner." Obi-Wan took a deep breath, releasing his frustration and resentment into the Force. It calmed him, and his friend's understanding smile even raised his spirits. Tired of his own self pity, he relaxed and leaned back. "Have you heard the latest from Garen?"

"That his Master is back in their quarters?" Bant asked.

Obi-Wan lifted an eyebrow. "You've had more recent news than I have. I'm glad to hear it," he added.

"We're going to get together later this week, after they've gotten settled in. I'll let you know when."

Obi-Wan sighed. "I'll let you know if I'll be able to join you," he said, frustration crowding him again.

"We'll figure something out," Bant said, and smiled when he looked at her. Obi-Wan smiled back, glad of such a good friend.

They decided to get out when it got close to late meal; Bant needed to dress to meet her Master in the dining hall. They parted at the doors, and Obi-Wan commed Qui-Gon.

"Go on up," Qui-Gon said through the comm. "I'll be right behind you."

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said, and left the pools.

Increased traffic in the halls put a strain on Obi-Wan's shields, and he hurried to a lift near by. No one got on with him, and he relaxed marginally, preparing himself with a dash to their quarters. As soon as he left the lift, his shields started to collapse, going faster this time, even though he encountered fewer Jedi. Obi-Wan ran down the hall, sighing in relief when the door shut behind him, completing the warding around the rooms.

"Is that you, Padawan?"

Obi-Wan's failing shields slammed shut again, and he winced as he pushed away from the wall. "Yes, Master," he responded, confused. "How long have you been here?"

Qui-Gon came out of his room. "I left half an hour after we arrived in the Heated Pools."

Obi-Wan stared, forcing down his frustration and even a small measure of anger. "More tests?"

"Yes, Padawan."

Obi-Wan didn't say much during late meal, relieved when Qui-Gon didn't say anything either. He spent most of the evening in meditation, releasing the frustration, resentment, and anger into the Force. When he felt he'd reached a state of calm and had managed to keep it for awhile, he got his data-pad, sank into one of the chairs, and read over some of the prophecies of the Force needing balance until Qui-Gon sent him to bed.


	21. "Wake from a Dream" - Great White, Save Your Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new situation.

_The bracelet lay on his dresser, where he'd kept it since his mother had given it to him some years ago. Obi-Wan couldn't remember a time without it. He didn't know what his new Master would say about it, so he tucked it into a corner of his drawer, not wanting to anger Master Sorin more. He must have done something wrong; his new Master had left him in his quarters on the Initiate's floor, and Obi-Wan didn't know why. He'd been so disappointed to find that he wouldn't leave the room after all. He'd looked forward to living on another residence level, to have access to all the things he wanted to know. He shrugged, letting it go, and grabbed his lightsaber. He had to leave now to reach the room on time to meet his new Master._

_Master Sorin didn't show up for a long time. Half expecting that sort of test because of what some of his friends had said after they'd been chosen, Obi-wan waited patiently, kneeling in meditation near the center of the room. He focused his energies on doing his best for his Master when he did arrive._

_Obi-Wan could feel Master Sorin's displeasure suddenly through the new bond, and he ended his meditation and got to to his feet as Master Sorin stepped into the practice room. Master Sorin scowled, and that didn't change even after he closed the door behind him and looked back at Obi-Wan. "What is this?" He held up the bracelet, letting it dangle from his fingers before Obi-Wan's eyes._

_Obi-Wan swallowed. "My mother gave it to me. Master Yoda said I could keep it, to remember her."_

_Master Sorin's scowl deepened into a frown. "You are old enough not to need such things," he said evenly. "I will dispose of it."_

_"But…" Obi-Wan started, only to flush and step back as the frown deepened even more and his Master's displeasure increased. "Yes, Master," he said softly._

_"Good." Master Sorin tucked the bracelet into the pouch on his belt. "Remove your tunic."_

_Obi-Wan only hesitated a moment before obeying. He didn't understand why he had to remove his tunic, but that shouldn't matter. Didn't matter. He carefully folded it and set it near the door, turning in time to catch his Master's nod of approval. It lightened his heart a little. As Master Sorin ignited his lightsaber, Obi-Wan ignited his and settled into the en guarde position. He couldn't hide his nerves; he wanted to perform well the first time he sparred with his Master. He'd looked forward to advancing since he'd first learned to use a lightsaber, had looked forward to learning from his Master._

_Master Sorin started slowly with a familiar pattern. Obi-Wan kept up with only a little effort, feeling better. Slowly, the pace of Master Sorin's blows increased, and Obi-Wan began to struggle to block him. The first time he missed a parry, Master Sorin's lightsaber burned his chest because he turned too slowly; the second landed in the small of his back. Gasping for breath at the shock and pain, Obi-Wan looked at his Master in confusion._

_"You will learn," Master Sorin said, sounding disinterested, "or you will die."_

_"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said, and brought his lightsaber up in the en guarde position, ready for his Master to teach. Instead, Master Sorin attacked again, at the same speed he'd left off. Obi-Wan struggled to parry his blows, too concerned with not getting burned again to worry about any kind of offense._

_The rest of the session went exactly the same. Obi-Wan wanted so badly to learn, but Master Sorin wouldn't teach him anything, simply attacking over and over, with more and more disapproval in the bond between them. When he declared an end to the practice, disgust in his voice, Obi-Wan barely managed not to collapse. He watched his Master leave the room, not even checking to see if Obi-Wan followed. Obi-Wan no longer wanted to work with the lightsaber so much, if he had to learn on his own. He could do it, but he'd learn faster if Master Sorin would just teach him. None of his apprenticed friends had ever said they had to learn the lightsaber on their own. In fact, they'd talked about how much fun they had, learning from their Masters. On top of that, he wouldn't lose his mother's bracelet without a good reason. He didn't think his age qualified._

_Obi-Wan caught up with Master Sorin just as he left the Temple through a side door and slipped out behind him. He knew he broke some of the most serious rules for the first time in his life; leaving the Temple without his Master's permission would have serious consequences. He knew that, and he accepted it. Master Sorin had no right to take his mother's bracelet. Obi-Wan followed his Master into the depths of Coruscant, trying to make sure he didn't lose his Master while not getting lost, or being obvious he followed. He had to hope that his Master wouldn't sense him, but when he checked the bond, he found it blocked from the other end._

_Finally, Master Sorin reached a small bazaar, and Obi-Wan stopped before he entered it, watching from behind a booth on the edge to see where his Master went. He checked his pocket to make sure he still had his money. He'd earned a few credits as a messenger initiate and hadn't had the chance to spend it yet. He kept them with him out of habit, just in case. The movement rubbed his tunic against his burns on his back, and he hissed softly. He'd have to get some cream or something for that, otherwise he'd anger his Master more tomorrow. If the lightsaber lessen went the same, he'd hurt even more. He focused on the booth, watching Master Sorin bargain for money. Obi-Wan didn't know why he'd come down here; maybe he'd better see where his Master went afterward. Master Sorin didn't go far. At the next booth, he bought something small that glittered, and started back toward the Temple. Obi-Wan waited until he could barely feel his Master through the blocked bond to approach the booth._

_He parted with all his credits to get the bracelet back from the man who'd bought it, and started back to the Temple. By the time he reached it, it had gotten dark and cold. He spent most of the evening at some distance from the door, waiting for someone to go in so he could sneak behind them. He carefully crafted his shields to look like a simple beggar to a Jedi's Force sense. He'd seen many outside the temple on one of the few outings he'd gone on. Finally, a Knight approached, and Obi-Wan slipped into the Temple behind her. To his surprise, she turned around and gave him a wink; he hadn't done as good a job as he'd thought. He smiled sheepishly, glad she hadn't asked any questions, and made his way back to his room. By the time he got into his sleep couch, his Mother's bracelet tucked under his mattress, he didn't know how long he'd get to sleep. He fell asleep immediately._

_He woke late the next morning to find his Master standing over him, scowling. He'd forgotten that his Master had access to his room, even if he'd locked. "I hope this is not an indication of how you will conduct yourself in the future," Master Sorin said, but his voice sounded like a threat more than simple correction. Moving quickly, Obi-Wan got up, hiding how much he hurt from the lightsaber practice the afternoon before._

_"No, Master, it's not. I'm sorry." Obi-Wan didn't try to explain anything. He didn't want to lie, but if his Master didn't ask for any information, he wouldn't volunteer it._

_Master Sorin's stance eased a little, and he nearly smiled. "Very well. Get dressed quickly, and we will go down to early meal."_

_Obi-Wan changed quickly, checking in his mirror to make sure his braid hadn't unraveled in the events of the night before. Then he presented himself before his Master again. Master Sorin nodded approvingly and led the way to the dining hall._

_After they'd eaten, they went to a practice room, and the approving Master Obi-Wan had seen that morning morphed into a monster as soon as the door shut behind them. "I should not have had to wake you this morning, Obi-Wan," Master Sorin growled down at him. Obi-Wan stepped back, and his Master reached out and grabbed his shoulder. Obi-Wan flinched as his tunic scraped one of his burns. "You should be up by the time I arrive."_

_"Yes, Master, I know, and I am sorry. I-it won't happen again."_

_"No, it will not." Master Sorin's eyes narrowed._

_Pressure built up on Obi-Wan's shields. Confused, Obi-Wan tried to strengthen them only to have them buckle completely. He struggled to escape his Master's grip, but the events of the night played themselves out in his memory before he could stop it._

_"So," Master Sorin said coldly, releasing him. Obi-Wan blinked at his sudden headache. "You saw fit to disobey me." Obi-Wan didn't answer. "Remove your tunic, Obi-Wan. We will spar again today."_

With a gasp, Obi-Wan woke. That day had begun the nightmare his life had become, and he wished he'd stop dreaming of it. That part of his life had ended. He could see nothing but good ahead of him. Sitting up, he recorded the dream, and then lay back down to meditate. He needed a measure of peace before he could go back to sleep.

Obi-Wan had refreshed himself and left his bedroom for early meal the next morning when he realized his Master had company in the common room. Master Windu and Master Satoru sat on the couch, Master Jinn in one of the overstuffed chairs, and Master Yoda's float chair hovered facing them. Obi-Wan hesitated before entering the room; those three together made him nervous. Right on his heels came the thought: what a relief I didn't come out before I got dressed!

"Good morning," Qui-Gon said, smiling at him. "Come and join us."

Obi-Wan's nerves increased. He stood behind his Master's chair, hands clasp at his back so they couldn't see his knuckles whiten as he clenched them together.

"It could be dangerous for all of them," Master Satoru said, sounding less collected than Obi-Wan had ever heard him. "I don't know what could happen, and no one can guarantee that Master Jinn would be near at all times."

"Would it be prudent to leave him here?" Master Windu asked.

"Prudent, perhaps," Yoda said. "Unhappy he would be."

They discussed him, Obi-Wan realized with a start. Master Jinn had a mission, and they knew Obi-Wan couldn't go with him. Humiliation colored his face, but he didn't turn away. If Qui-Gon hadn't wanted him to hear this, he would have sent him back to his room. He focused on his frustration and released it into the Force before it grew too big and gave him away. It wouldn't go, but he kept trying. He heard his name and snapped his attention back to the group of Masters before him.

"My assistance has been requested on a mission. It shouldn't take long," Master Jinn explained. "Master Satoru doesn't think you should go with me, and I'd rather you not be stuck here, unable to leave our quarters for any length of time. Do you have a suggestion?"

Obi-Wan took a deep breath as his frustration finally eased. "Is Arioch on the way?"

Mace and Master Satoru looked thoughtful, but Yoda looked like he didn't like the suggestion. "Dangerous that could be," he remarked. "If to go you wish, stop you I will not."

Mace looked at Yoda. "You have concerns?"

Yoda looked at Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan nearly stepped back at his expression. "To your room return," Yoda said. Obi-Wan bowed, still trying to interpret Yoda's expression, and retreated to his room. He couldn't hear what they discussed, and just the idea of freedom gnawed at him. When his door opened some time later, Obi-Wan had managed to calm down enough to read one of the prophesies he'd found the last time he'd visited the Archives.

"Yoda has given permission for you to leave the temple," Qui-Gon said from his doorway. Behind him, the room looked and felt empty, so they'd all left.

"When do we leave?" Obi-Wan asked, setting his data-pad down.

"As soon as you are ready."

It took Obi-Wan a personal record of five minutes to pack. He included the staff he'd gotten from Merrick, though he didn't know why. The Force nudged him to, so he did. When he got to the common room, ready to go, he experienced the novelty of waiting for his Master. He didn't think that had happened ever during his apprenticeship to Qui-Gon. He didn't have long to wait, and Master Jinn gave him a smile before leading the way from their quarters.


	22. "What do you Say to Somebody You Hate?" - Dr. Dre ft Emenem, Forgot about Dre

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One last confrontation

The small ship settled on the lawn behind the cabin he remembered, and Obi-Wan grabbed his bag. "Don't forget to eat something," Qui-Gon admonished him. "I will return as soon as I can."

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said as the ramp lowered. He started down it, giving a last wave before jumping to the ground.

The ship lifted off immediately, climbing steeply into the sky. Obi-Wan watched until he could no longer see it, as he always did when Master Jinn went somewhere without him. It had become a tradition. Turning, he started around the building to the front door, enjoying the warm breeze that stirred the trees surrounding the clearing.

The log cabin hadn't changed much on the outside, and it brought back memories from the last time he'd stayed here. The tree in the front looked as big as it had the first time he'd seen it, which meant it had grown as he had. He'd spent some wonderful time in its shade, sparing with Master Jinn, learning again to love working with his lightsaber. He grimaced when he remembered the sunburn he'd gotten when Bant had visited, and the sequence of events that had followed. Mounting the steps, he wondered how Bant liked her latest mission with her Master. He'd have to talk to her the next time they both had time in the Temple.

The door opened easily under his hand, and he paused to let his eyes adjust to the dimmer interior. He found the main room as unchanged as the outside, and his shoulders eased considerably. Whoever owned this had replaced the couches, but they stood in the same place and had nearly the exact same shade of cream he remembered. The fireplace in the opposite wall looked like it had seen recent use. The white rug still lay under the skylight, glowing faintly in the sunlight that came through, and it made him smile. That rug had comforted him a lot the first time he'd come here, so many years ago.

First order of business: something to eat. Taking his bag into the kitchen, he smiled as he set it on the table and began to empty it. They'd replaced the table, too, but it looked the same, although without the scratches he'd put into it, building his light saber. He moved about the bright kitchen, finding what he needed still in same places, feeling at home. In the midst of fixing early meal, his shields crumpled to nothing, except the block on the bond with Master Jinn. While he ate, he rebuilt them, and he'd nearly finished eating when he realized it had worked. Startled and suddenly uncomfortable, he dug his dream data-pad out of his bag and recorded the incident on it, including the vague threat he felt in the Force. His shields had not stayed up before now, not since he'd started having problems with them. That meant something good, didn't it? He'd finally gotten his shields under some kind of control. He didn't know if he could trust that, but at least he had them up. Smiling, he cleared the table, left his bag on it, and went into the front room to meditate to try to make sense of it. The rug felt more worn under his feet, but still warm and soft as he remembered it. He closed his eyes, focused his mind, and found contentment in meditation.

Obi-Wan didn't stir until after he should have eaten mid meal. When he stood and stretched, he felt a distinct warning in the Force. Whatever had felt like a vague threat had come closer. He touched the lightsaber hanging at his belt for reassurance and went into the kitchen to eat. He grabbed the leftovers from early meal, and then, on his way out the back door, took the staff from his bag and clipped it on his belt opposite his lightsaber. He didn't know why, only that the Force wanted him to have it. He headed out the door and walked around to stretch his legs. He wished he understood why he felt so uneasy, and where the threat would come from.

"Meditation," he murmured, knowing exactly what Qui-Gon would say. Obi-Wan knelt beneath the tree, just as he had when he'd come here the first time, and sought peace. Baring that, he'd settle for a hint as to why the Force warned him, and what it warned him against.

Sometime later, his shields crashed down, opening his mind to anyone around. He started to get up, only to find he couldn't. Someone had gotten into his mind, somehow, without his knowing, and frozen his muscles. He knew that feeling from the dream he'd had about Bruck and Xanatos, and from before then, during his time with each of his former Masters. Someone had control of his body.

"Hello, Padawan Kenobi," a woman said as she plucked the lightsaber from his belt.

Obi-Wan tried to reach his Master through the bond, only to find it still blocked. Instead, he concentrated on getting back control of his own body. He thought he recognized the voice, so it didn't surprise him when Di'ona moved into his line of vision, eyes narrowed angrily. "Have you nothing to say?" she asked. She hadn't changed much from the last time he'd seen her. She still wore the blue of the Hanani medic uniform, so he'd seen her more recently than he thought. She looked more stern than he'd ever seen her. She reached forward and fished his comm unit out of his belt pouch, flinging it to the side. He lost sight of it before it hit the ground.

Obi-Wan bit his lip, his thoughts moving inward to investigate his own mind. Interesting, what she'd left under his control; luckily, it included his heartbeat and breathing. She smiled triumphantly, and he decided he preferred the frown. He would have said something, but he didn't know what she'd allow him to say. "I don't want to destroy the Jedi," he blurted.

"Of course you don't want to," she said. The sympathy in her voice surprised him. It sounded like she understood how he felt. "But you will anyway."

"How?" he demanded, so sharply that she rocked back and her smile slipped. "How am I supposed to destroy them? You have said over and over that I would, but you never said how. Tell me how I do it and I will stop!"

She shook her head slowly. "You think it's that easy?" she asked. "What do you think it takes to change one's destiny? It's not easy to escape it. How successful have I been in changing it? It's not been easy."

"You turned three Knights away from the Jedi," Obi-Wan said flatly.

"You were not glad to see them go?" she asked, but he thought he saw a flash of pain in her eyes.

"I should not have had to be glad," he snapped, and then took a deep breath.

"They were willing casualties to save the Jedi Order," Di'ona said urgently, eyes glinting with a fanatical light. Obi-Wan wanted to spit in her face. He would not lose control, he determined, and clenched his fist instead.

It brought him up short. He shouldn't have been able to do that. Only then, he noticed the strain in Di'ona's face, and with a will, he attacked her control of him, finally breaking free. Her eyes widened, then his lightsaber snapped on and she swung it toward him, aiming for his exposed neck.

With a cry, he flung himself back, rolling to his feet with the staff in his hand. It opened to full length with a familiar snick. Di'ona laughed in derision, lunged to her feet, and attacked him again.

Obi-Wan knew the staff wouldn't hold up against the lightsaber. He just wanted to keep out of her reach long enough to try some of the under-handed tactics he'd learned from Merrick. Right now, though, he had to keep her from gaining control of his body again, while dodging his own lightsaber. He figured, after the first time he rolled out of the way, that he wouldn't have an easy time of it. She'd attained the rank of Master before the council cast her out, and while she hadn't had the intense practice he had the last few years, she hadn't lost much of her skill.

He could feel her trying to regain control of him again, and fought her off. He had to keep himself free of her mental grasp. She didn't even have to freeze him completely, like she had earlier. She just had to slow him down enough to kill him. If only he could get his shields up again….

"Your shields work just fine, Kenobi," Di'ona said as he dodged another attack. "They're doing exactly what I tell them to.

Obi-Wan didn't respond, focused on keeping her away from him. At least the Force hadn't abandoned him, and it helped keep him one step ahead of her. He led her around the tree, on the defensive mostly because he could not strike offensively, using the tree as part shield. He had to dodge, duck, roll out of her way, sometimes using the Force swirling around them, sometimes pushing her away with the staff. When he did that, he had to move away from her fast enough that she couldn't hit him with his own lightsaber. Once he didn't quite get out of her way fast enough; the lightsaber singed his ear and scored his cheekbone as he threw himself back out of her reach.

Di'ona's smile grew more satisfied, but Obi-Wan saw something that gave him hope. He waited until the same situation happened and instead of stepping back, he stepped closer and ducked under his lightsaber as it took off one end of his staff. The other end he swung down and took her feet out from under her. She hit the ground hard, grunting in pain, and his lightsaber flew from her hand, extinguishing on the way. Obi-Wan dropped the staff even as he reached to call his lightsaber to his hand. As soon as he had it, he activated it and brought it up into a guard position in one smooth move. Di'ona rolled away from him and pulled another lightsaber from inside her tunic as she got to her feet. He wondered where she'd gotten it for a fleeting second before she attacked him again.

This time, he could trade blows with her, but he began to feel the effects of fighting off both the physical and mental attack. His arms and legs felt weight down with stone, and he had to keep blinking sweat out of his eyes. His braid clung to his neck, and he stumbled more. He didn't have the luxury of holding off or ignoring the physical attack while attending to the mental one. He couldn't do much more than he did, so he continued to struggle to keep her away from him.

The Force whispered around Obi-Wan, lending him strength, guiding his lightsaber to meet with Di'ona's, blocking, parrying, and even attacking on occasion. Obi-Wan followed it blindly, watching for anything that might help him. He noticed that every time he stepped toward her, she backed off, attacked him so he had to back off, or, once, pushed him away with the Force. Obi-Wan didn't have the strength or time to figure out why, but he knew he could use her aversion to him. He began to make his movements a touch slower, more ponderous, look more like a struggle than before. He didn't have to pretend too hard. If she didn't take the bait soon, he'd drop from exhaustion. He made that the foremost thought in his head so she couldn't miss it.

Her smile grew less satisfied and more triumphant, her eyes glittered, and she dove in for the kill, swing the lightsaber at him.

He knocked her blade away and lunged. His lightsaber slide easily into her chest. She gaped at him, but her arm continued downward in the follow-up strike she'd started. He threw out his arm to block her, too late. Her lightsaber bit into his side even as her arm hit his, stopping her from cutting him in half. He gasped in pain at the burn.

For an instant she stared at him in disbelief, the triumph bleeding out of her face. He knocked the lightsaber from her hand and away from her and stepped back, pulling his own lightsaber free. She crumpled to the ground, still staring at him.

"I have failed," she said, with so much despair in her voice that he almost felt sorry for her.

At least until he tried to move, and fire shot through his side from his wound. It drove him to his knees, but he kept his lightsaber ignited. He wouldn't underestimate her. Something hit his mind and he stiffened, struggling to push her mental touch away again. He'd forgotten her mental attacks, and he couldn't afford to.

"You'll never stop having nightmares," she went on, gasping for breath now, her voice softer. Her hands grasped feebly for something in the grass. "You'll never have control of your shields."

"You don't know me or my master very well," Obi-Wan responded, still fighting her, trying to keep her distracted so she couldn't harm him anymore. "We will get control of both of those." Only then did it register what she'd said. "My nightmares?" he blurted.

"Your nightmares," she confirmed, her eyes narrowing. "They will never end."

Obi-Want started to get up, to get away from her even though he knew distance would make no difference, but pain flared through his body. She gave one last gasp and died, and some of the pain faded. He realized she'd caused it. He extinguished his lightsaber and staggered to his feet, gasping in pain. He had to get back to the cabin and the med pack he'd left inside. He hadn't gone far when everything went black.


	23. "You May Hate me" - *N Sync, Bye Bye Bye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Qui-Gon's mission

Even as his ship pulled out of the planet's gravity, Qui-Gon felt uneasy about the whole situation. Di'ona and Sorin had lost their tracers. Kalifa Sendar had found Sorin and had asked for his help in bringing the former Jedi to the Council. He didn't know where Di'ona had gone. Mace told him that morning that Jedi in the field were watching for her, but Qui-Gon wished someone would actively look for her. Unfortunately, until they settled Obi-Wan's problems, he couldn't - wouldn't - search for her himself.

He landed on Kalantar at the coordinates the Council had given him, in a too-bright afternoon, on top of a warehouse. Kalifa stood next to her ship, cloaked and hooded, but met him as he disembarked. "Follow me," she said, and turned away. Qui-Gon pulled his hood up and followed, frowning at a sharp sense of dislike he got from her, more intense than what he'd felt on Fedlimid. He tucked away next to the other impressions of malice he'd gotten from her, determined to ask her some time about it. He wouldn't bring it up now.

She led him down the outside stairs to the street, down to the next crossroads, and turned left onto a wide avenue with little traffic. Probably a main road, once, but most of the warehouses along here had definitely seen better days. They had no problem avoiding others; most of the beings seeming as eager as they to keep to themselves. They passed a couple, cloaked and hooded as well, standing in the shadow of an alley. The beings looked at them, fear echoing in the Force, but as Qui-Gon and Kalifa continued walking. They went back to their low-pitched squabbling. Before they Jedi had gone much further down the avenue, Kalifa pulled Qui-Gon into a small alcove. "He's in there." She indicated a dilapidated building, smaller than the two that flanked it, directly across from them.

Qui-Gon nodded, looking at her, but he used the Force to look over that building. It didn't look promising. Maybe it had other doors on the side or the back? "Have you checked it out?"

"Not very well," Kalifa admitted. "I didn't want to alert him that I was here before I got some help. The alley in the back is as blocked as the two on either side."

Qui-Gon didn't like it. They couldn't approach without getting seen, and trash and who knew what else choked the alleys on either side of the building. The two warehouses that flanked it seemed empty, although that meant little, and he couldn't see any way to use those to get into the one they wanted. No matter which approach they took, Sorin would likely see them. In that case, a front approach would work best. Sorin wouldn't expect it, at least. He glanced at Kalifa, then started across the road. She hesitated a moment, then caught up to him. "What are you doing?" she hissed.

"He won't expect us to approach like this," he said quietly. "It might give us an advantage." She didn't respond.

The door, unlocked, screeched as he opened it. Qui-Gon took his lightsaber off his belt. Kalifa did the same, and they both stepped inside.

Dust and residue of whatever someone had stored there littered the floor of the warehouse. Dirty skylights reluctantly let in sunlight. Qui-Gon's boots stirred up the dust as he walked further in. The door closed, and they paused to let their eyes adjust. Shadows huddled in the corners and along the walls. They'd have to investigate each one.

"There's an office or something up there." Kalifa gestured up to where something hung on the wall to his left. "He could be there."

Qui-Gon looked around again. "No stairs in here," he said. "Access must be outside.

Kalifa nodded. "I'll check."

"Be careful," Qui-Gon said as she turned to go. "May the Force be with you."

"And with you, Master Jinn." Her voice echoed oddly. She left the door open, but even that didn't help too much. Something high on the wall to his right caught his eye, closer to the end opposite the door. He'd taken three steps when the Force screamed a warning to his senses. Even as he spun, igniting his lightsaber, he leaped back.

A blue lightsaber missed his head by centimeters. He could smell the burnt hair that had caught on the blade. Behind the blade stood Sorin, eyes blazing. Without a word, he struck, and Qui-Gon parried, moving away from the wall into the center of the room. Sorin smiled, and Qui-Gon shuddered at the evil in that smile. Sorin lunged at him, and Qui-Gon parried and stepped out of the way.

He had to shift directions as the Force screamed at him again. A second blade took part of the sleeve of his cloak, and he spun to face his second attacker. It surprised him to see Kalifa Sendar, not Di'ona, as he expected. Kalifa struck when he hesitated, and he scrambled to block the blow. "Surprise," she snarled. The hatred and malice he'd only felt hints of poured off her in waves.

Pulling himself together, Qui-Gon defended himself as they took advantage of his hesitation. His lightsaber blurred as he parried their blows, letting them drive him around the warehouse. For one, it would wear them out, and two, it kept them fairly close together. Their blades clashed with his, and it slowly dawned on him that they used much the same style. Sorin didn't have any finesse or skill left; Qui-Gon nearly got through his guard and Kalifa attacked him with such ferociousness that Qui-Gon had to turn his attention to her. It allowed Sorin to recover and he tried to get around behind Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon flipped over Sorin's head, striking down at him, but Kalifa and Sorin both parried, and then pressed their attack when he landed. He blocked them, slipping sideways out of their reach to strike again.

"Why are you here?" he asked Kalifa.

"Because you ruined all my Master had planned. You stole all she worked for, and you doomed the Jedi by doing it." She attacked as she spoke, a frenzy of moves that he parried only with help from the Force,

"You were also Di'ona's Padawan," he said, stalling for time as he thought furiously. He parried Sorin's blow when Sorin came at him from the side, and reposted so strongly Sorin nearly lost control of his lightsaber. He backed off. "You know where she is."

"Naturally," Kalifa said, slipping around for a better blow at his back. Qui-Gon spun, parried, and lunged. She parried and jumped back as the point of his saber singed the front of her tunic. "She's finishing what she started."

She'd gone after Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon tried to warn Obi-wan through the bond, only to encounter the block at Obi-Wan's end that they hadn't managed to remove yet.

"You can't reach him," Kalifa taunted. "She made sure of that."

Di'ona had caused Obi-Wan's troubles. Again. He should have seen in. He had to finish this, and get back to Obi-Wan. "When?" he asked, doubling his attack on Sorin. Sorin backpedaled frantically, and Kalifa tried to divert Qui-Gon's attention to her. With a gesture, he Force-shoved her away hard enough to knock her into the wall and stun her. He turned back to Sorin, able to focus solely on him. Qui-Gon disarmed him after a couple of exchanges and knocked him out with his own lightsaber.

As he clipped the lightsaber to his belt, the Force warned him and he turned to face Kalifa's determined attack. At the same time, an echo of fear slipped through the blocked bond, something he might have missed if he hadn't tightened his sense of the bond. He attacked, striking with strength and precision fueled with urgency. Her parries became more desperate as he pounded at her. She could barely keep his lightsaber from burning her. Finally, with a twist of his weapon, he got in close enough to trip her and she fell. Her lightsaber went flying, and she froze mid reach for it at the heat from his lightsaber at her throat. "I concede," she said, her voice shaking.

Without moving his weapon, Qui-Gon called her lightsaber to his hand and clipped next to the one he'd taken from Sorin. "Is there a landing pad on the roof of this building?"

She hesitated. "Yes," she said finally.

"Good. You carry him." He indicated Sorin and stepped back, holding his lightsaber ready as she got to her feet and hefted Sorin to her shoulder. With the time to look, he found a smaller door near the back of the warehouse and gestured Kalifa through it. She led the way up the outside stairs to the roof. Once there, Qui-Gon found the small console with the coordinates of the warehouse and transmitted them to his ship.

When the ship landed, it nearly knocked Kalifa and her burden over. Qui-Gon steadied her. The ramp to his ship lowered with agonizing slowness, but he finally prodded her to get on board. "Set him down there," he said, indicating one of the passenger seats, "and you sit there." She obeyed as he pulled out the Force-suppressing collar the Council had sent with him. He hated the things, hated using them, but he knew he had no choice right now.

Kalifa stared at him, eyes wide with fear. "I give you my word as a Jedi that I will not try to escape," she said humbly.

Qui-Gon snorted. "Your word as a Jedi is not worth much." He considered, knowing he didn't have much time. Finally, he looked at her. "Allow me to put you to sleep."

Kalifa gaped at him, glanced at the collar in his hand, swallowed, and nodded. Qui-Gon gave her the strongest sleep suggestion he could, and she gave in sooner than he expected her to. He extinguished his lightsaber, clipped it to his belt, and buckled Sorin into his seat. He fastened the collar on Sorin, sat down, and got ready to leave.

He'd reached escape velocity when pain flared through the bond. He activated his comm unit to try to reach Obi-wan, but got no answer. The pain ended suddenly. Qui-Gon tried the temple, and got transfered to Mace. "Qui-Gon?"

"I found Sorin, but he wasn't alone. I'm bring his accomplice as well."

"Someone we know?"

"Yes. Kalifa Sendar. She said Di'ona went after Obi-Wan. I tried to comm him, but got no answer. I'm on—"

"I'll go now," Mace interrupted.

"Thank you," Qui-Gon said, and signed off. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It made sense. Mace would reach Arioch sooner than he would, and he didn't have two rogue Jedi to worry about, and only one collar.

None of that made him feel any better.

The trip back to the temple took forever. Qui-Gon tried to meditate once and failed like he hadn't since he'd been Yan Dooku's apprentice. With a shake of his head, he reached down the bond and encountered the block again. It took most of his self-control not to wake Kalifa and interrogate her. He couldn't because he had no way to control her. Finally, he leaned his head against the head rest, closed his eyes, and focused on breathing.

The comm unit chirped. He snatched it up. "Yes?"

"I've got Obi-Wan. He's alive, Qui-Gon, but he's injured. I'll take him to Theela when I get back. She's waiting for him. I'll meet you there."

"Thank you," Qui-Gon said, and let his breath out in a deep sigh as he turned the comm unit off. Mace hadn't sounded hurried or too concerned. He took another deep breath and let it out, his eyes slipping closed. He spiraled down into a meditation of peace and thankfulness that ended when the proximity alarm went off, indicating that he'd reached Coruscant.


	24. "Will Things Ever be the Same Again" - Europe, Final Countdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New challenges

Obi-Wan woke and realized that he lay on something other than the grass on Arioch. Slowly he opened his eyes and recognized the soothing colors of the Temple Healer's Wing. That didn't make any sense. How had he gotten here? And why…. He started to get up, gasped in pain, and lay back down. Oh, right. Sunlight lit the room through the large transteel window, splashing across the medical couch. With a deep breath, he slid into a light trance to investigate his physical injuries. One large burn in his side had Bacta in it, and a few other aches that had come from the movement rather than any blows Di'ona had landed. The burn would take longest, of course, but the rest wouldn't take long to heal. He slid deeper into his trance and began to rebuilding his shields. They crumpled before he got very far. Except, of course, the block on his bond. That remained strong as ever, he discovered when he tried to find his Master.

Coming out of the trance, he reached out to find the room shielded, and it relieved him. Of course, Theela would never let an unshielded wounded Jedi loose in the Healer's Wing.

The door slid open, and Theela stepped in, almost as if his thoughts had summoned her. "Good afternoon, Padawan Kenobi," she said, looking at the readouts of the machines next to the medical couch he lay on. Apparently satisfied with what she saw, she turned to him. "How are you feeling?"

"Good," he said.

"You tried to get up."

Obi-Wan smiled sheepishly. "I woke up confused," he admitted.

"You need to rest, Obi-Wan," she said. "You spent most of last night in Bacta. Master Jinn has asked me to tell you he'll be back as soon as he can. The council called him in a short while ago."

Obi-Wan grimaced. "They'll want me to explain," he mumbled.

"Possibly, but not yet. If they want to hear what you have to say before I release you, they'll have to come in here."

Obi-Wan smiled at the thought of the Council crowding into the too-small room, stepping on each others robes and trying to remain dignified while Yoda's hover chair floated over their heads.

Theela smiled back at him. "Master Satoru would like to speak to you as soon as possible. Do you feel well enough to see him?"

"Yes. He can probably make my shields go up again," Obi-Wan said. "It's not a new problem." At least now he knew why it happened, if not how to stop it. Maybe it worked the same as the other problems his former Masters had placed in his head. If so, Master Jinn could fix it.

"I will comm him and let him know you're awake."

When she'd gone again, Obi-Wan tried to relax. Knowing no one outside of the room could get into his head comforted him only a little. He didn't like that anyone who came in could access his mind. He lay still, trying to raise his shields, using every technique the Council had walked him through at 13. Nothing remained up. Most of the time his shields collapsed before he'd gotten far at all.

He paused to rest, and the door opened to admit Master Satoru. "How are you feeling?"

"A little off-kilter, Master," Obi-Wan admitted. "My shields won't stay up. I hope the rules we discovered still apply."

"A friendly approach will bring them up?'

"Yes, Master."

Before Master Satoru could do anything, the door opened and Qui-Gon stepped in. Obi-Wan rocked back as his shields slammed up so tightly he felt claustrophobic for an instant.

Master Satoru looked at Qui-Gon, and then at Obi-Wan. "That's interesting," he said.

"And not a little frustrating," Obi-wan said ruefully. "Although that's the fastest they've gone up. Usually it takes some time for my shields to react when Master Jinn is around. At least I know who caused the problem in the first place."

"Who?" Master Satoru asked.

"Di'ona," Qui-Gon said.

Master Satoru nodded. "I see. But no idea what she did, or how to fix it?"

"I have some ideas," Qui-Gon said, "but I need to speak to you and to Master Ashthoret before we act on these."

"Will there be another attack?" Master Satoru asked. "Do we need to worry about her meddling again?"

"I don't believe so," Qui-Gon said after a moment of silence. "Everyone involved has been accounted for and captured."

Obi-Wan glanced at his Master, surprised at his tone of voice. He couldn't tell what Qui-Gon felt though. He hated this block!

The door opened and Theela looked in. "Master Jinn, your presence is requested by the Council again. They have informed me that Obi-wan must accompany you." She looked furious. "I have made it clear to them that I don't think Obi-Wan is well enough. Although one of my objections seems to no longer be valid. Are you in control of your shields?"

"No," Obi-Wan said. He pushed the blankets off him, thankful to see he had clothes on. The sleeping leggings had been tied so loosely he hadn't noticed. He started to sit up, and Qui-Gon gently helped him get fully upright. His breath caught as his side pulled, and he leaned into Qui-Gon's arm around his shoulders.

"As long as I am with him, I believe that won't be an issue," Qui-Gon said.

Theela nodded, still scowling, and walked fully into the room. She brought a hover chair with her, a robe folded on the seat. She picked it up and gave it to Qui-Gon. "Help him into this," she said.

Obi-Wan needed the help. It hurt to move his torso at all, and having Master Jinn's support made it a much less painful experience. Qui-Gon helped him off the medical couch and into the hover chair. Obi-Wan sighed and sagged. If he hadn't felt so horrible, he'd be more embarrassed about going before the Council in less than his formal tunic.

"Make sure they don't stress him out," Theela said. "Let me know if something goes wrong."

"I will," Qui-Gon said, and they left.

Obi-Wan did not like the hover chair. Sitting in it hurt. When they arrived in the ante-chamber, he stifled a sigh of relief because they finally stopped. Qui-Gon moved around to face him, concern on his face and a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder. "I don't like this any more than Theela does," he muttered.

"We can't ignore a summons from the Council, can we?" Obi-Wan asked, struggling not to sound as tired as he felt. The pain wore him out.

Qui-Gon snorted. "I should have ignored this one."

Obi-Wan chuckled shortly. "That would have done nothing for your standing with the Council."

"I don't think my standing with the Council can get any worse," Qui-Gon said wryly.

Probably not, Obi-Wan thought, for once partially grateful for the block on their bond. He hoped they wouldn't wait too long.

The doors opened almost immediately to let them in. Obi-Wan got to his feet before Qui-Gon could touch the hover chair controls. Qui-Gon looked at him, questioning, then nodded and led the way into the Council chamber. Obi-Wan followed, but stopped long before Qui-Gon did. Qui-Gon turned to look and him, and Obi-Wan thought he looked… guilty? The look got him moving again, and he approached Qui-Gon slowly, his eyes on the other occupants in the center of the chamber.

Sorin stood to his left, dressed in a neutral blue, his hands bound before him. Next to him stood Kalifa Sendar, but she didn't look like she stood there to guard him. Her hands were also bound before her. To his right stood Denk, in Jedi robes like Kalifa, but without his hand bound. They hung at his sides.

"Padawan," Qui-Gon said, extending a hand to bring Obi-wan closer, and Obi-Wan dragged his eyes from the back of Denk's head to look at his current Master. Even slower than before, he walked forward until he took his customary place at Qui-Gon's right shoulder. He didn't like standing so close to Denk. They'd said they'd banished him. So why was he here? Obi-Wan flinched as Denk turned, but Denk didn't look at him as he left the room. Jedi escorted the other two out as well.

"Master Jinn," Mace said, and Obi-Wan focused back on the Council he stood before. He tried to concentrate on what the beings said, but he found it hard. His side burned more now, and he felt like someone drove a vibro-knife into his right temple. "Your Padawan must speak for himself."

Obi-Wan blinked. He had to what? "Yes, Master?"

"What happened?"

"On Arioch?" The pain in Obi-Wan's head increased, and his right eye began to ache so he didn't dare move it.

"Yes, Padawan Kenobi." Mace spoke with a definite note of long-suffering in his voice, and Obi-Wan wondered how long he'd tuned them out.

"I was meditating outside the cabin," he started, his right hand drifting up to press briefly on his temple. He realized what he'd done and snatched it back to his side. "She froze the air around me, and took my lightsaber. But she couldn't hold me, like they used to be able to, and I got free. I held her off using the staff we'd borrowed from the Monastery." He reached to show it to them, and remembered he'd dropped it in the battle. "She wanted to kill me, and I did my best. I managed to get my lightsaber from her," He'd left that, too, and at least he remembered soon enough so he didn't reach for it. Some Jedi he would make if he left his weapons and all evidence behind. "She must have guessed she'd lose mine, because she had another one, and we fought on." The room swum; pain stabbed into his eye, spreading around to his other temple as if Di'ona directed it. No, he thought hazily, she can't. She's dead. "I got through her guard. She wounded me before she died."

"Where did she get the lightsaber?"

Obi-Wan had no idea who had asked, only certain that Yoda hadn't. "She didn't say," Obi-Wan said. "She only said she had control of my shields, that she gave me the nightmares. She said they'd never stop." He felt like his head would burst and he gripped it with both hands. Then he remembered where he stood and forced himself to let go and look up. He saw a small green blur whet Yoda sat, with Mace Windu a darker blur next to him.

Qui-Gon's hand fell heavily on Obi-Wan's shoulder, steadying him. Obi-Wan leaned into it thankfully. "Masters," Qui-Gon said, and his voice made Obi-Wan's head ache all the more for its proximity, "my Padawan is still recovering, and is under the care of Master Healer Ashthoret. I need to return him to her."

"We have no more questions at this time," Mace said. "We may have more…."

Obi-Wan heard no more as the pain in his head erupted and everything went black.


	25. "Undying Devotion" - *N Sync, I Drive Myself Crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continued recovery.

"… questions later," Mace finished as Qui-Gon caught Obi-Wan before his Padawan could hit the floor.

Qui-Gon nodded shortly to his friend. "I don't believe Master Healer Ashthoret will let him out of the Healer's wing until he is completely healed. If you will excuse me?"

"Of course," Mace said.

Qui-Gon reached the ante-chamber when Adi Gallia caught up to him, tucking her comm unit into her belt. "I called Theela," she said, pulling the hover chair over to him and holding it still so he could put Obi-Wan in without struggling too much. "She's ready and waiting for him."

Qui-Gon didn't respond, all his attention on getting Obi-Wan into the chair without hurting him. Then he straightened and sighed. "This worries me," he said. "Obi-Wan usually recovers faster than this."

"He's had a few shocks to his system, Qui-Gon," Adi reminded him.

Qui-Gon snorted. He knew it better than she did, but she'd said it kindly. "That's definitely one way of putting it." He immediately regretted his reaction, and tried to shove the remaining anger into a place he could hide it until he could deal with it. "I'm sorry, Adi. I didn't mean it to come out quite like that." He started to push the hover chair toward the lift. She followed, reaching quickly to right Obi-Wan when he started to slump the wrong way. When the lift doors closed, she settled him a little firmer.

"Do you know what you will do now?" she asked.

"No," Qui-Gon said hopelessly, then straightened. "But we are not done yet."

She regarded him for a moment, and then smiled. "He's been good for you."

Qui-Gon stared at her. "What?"

"Obi-Wan. He's been good for you. I'm glad you apprenticed him. You are more like I remember before…." She let the sentence fade, but he knew who and what she meant.

"Was I that bad?" he asked.

Before Adi could respond, the lift opened on three healers and a hover bed. Working carefully, they got Obi-wan on it and started toward the Healer's Wing. With a grateful look at Adi, Qui-Gon followed.

Theela interrogated Qui-Gon while she checked Obi-Wan over. He could tell the summons had upset her because of the way she snapped out questions and commented on the Council under her breath in irritation between the questions. Finally, she turned to him. "Obi-Wan should be fine," she said. "I'll keep an eye on him, and I suppose you will be here as well?"

Qui-Gon ignored the acerbic part of her question, knowing she didn't aim it at him. "Yes."

"Don't wake him," she stressed. "From what I can tell, he over-exerted himself, and Di'ona's meddling made it worse. I'll speak with Master Satoru and report to him what happened." She nodded shortly at him and stalked from the room.

Qui-Gon settled in the chair next to Obi-Wan's medical couch as soon as the door closed behind Theela. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and meditated, searching for something to help his Padawan. He did not believe they would find it so easy to get rid of Di'ona's meddling, as Theela had put it, this time around. First, they had to find a way around Obi-Wan's now formidable shields. This time, they didn't have someone like Denk willing to help them. He didn't think Kalifa would give up any of her former Master's secrets.

He found nothing, and eventually rose out of the trance, feeling refreshed. He watched Obi-Wan sleep, and thought about Adi's words. It had been worth it, all of it. Obi-Wan had done him good, smoothed sharp corners. Obi-Wan had taught him a lot about forgiveness, both of others and of oneself. He'd forgotten the joy of learning and of teaching until he'd met Obi-Wan. Xanatos had darkened his life, perhaps more than he'd thought, if many of his friends felt the way Adi did. Maybe he would take a fourth apprentice when Obi-Wan passed his trials, see what he could learn from another. The trials would probably happen soon, too. After they got through this last - hopefully last! - bit of Di'ona's legacy.

Much later, Obi-wan stirred, groaning low and pressing his right hand to his temple. Glazed eyes met Qui-Gon's, but that cleared soon enough. Before Qui-Gon could do more than smile and take in a breath to say something, the door opened and Theela came in. She checked the readouts on the instruments, looking at least more composed than she had when they'd arrived. After a moment, she looked at Obi-Wan. "How are you feeling?"

"Confused," he admitted. "I don't remember…." He trailed off. "How long have I been here?"

"A few hours. What is the last thing you remember?"

"I remember being in the Council chamber, and getting a headache. I thought my head would explode."

"You collapsed," Qui-Gon told him.

Theela smoothed the covers over Obi-Wan. "Rest now," she said with a glare at Qui-Gon. "Let me know if that memory doesn't come back."

Obi-Wan nodded, closing his eyes, and Theela left again. Qui-Gon caught something she muttered about the council, but nothing he could - or would - repeat to anyone.

Minutes later, Obi-Wan's eyes opened, blazing in anger. "They told me they'd banished Denk with the rest," he said.

Qui-Gon lifted an eyebrow, although he felt Obi-Wan had a good reason for his anger. He even considered using his negotiation skills on his Padawan, because he had no other way to judge Obi-Wan's mood with the block on the blond. Obi-Wan glanced at him, and calmed himself down with an effort. "Did you know?" he asked.

Qui-Gon sighed. "I saw him in the Archives the day we returned from the Fedlimid mission. The council asked me not to mention it to you. Ordered me not to," he corrected himself.

"Why?"

"They didn't think you'd react well to having him still in the Temple."

Obi-Wan snorted. "I didn't. I must have seen him in the Archives before the mission of Fedlimid," he mused. "When I came back and said I felt so strange."

"It is possible. They kept him out of the Temple when they thought you might see him, but as you and I both know, no plans are perfect."

"I had a nightmare about him that night," Obi-Wan continued, turning to look out the window. "An old memory." He fell quiet, staring out at the buildings across the skyway.

Qui-Gon had no idea what he thought about. He felt helpless, so used to reading Obi-Wan through their bond. Obi-Wan didn't show his feelings very much, and since he spent that year outside the Temple, he'd closed himself off even more. "We have some work to do on your shields," he ventured before the silence could stretch too long. "I don't think Theela will agree to anything strenuous until she says you've healed fully. Master Satoru will probably agree."

Obi-Wan took a deep breath, let it out, and grimaced in pain for an instant. "Yes, Master," he said. He still didn't look at Qui-Gon. He continued to stare out the window, his hands clasped lightly over his stomach.

Qui-Gon could see the white in his knuckles and knew the apparent ease was a sham. "Padawan," he said. Obi-Wan turned to look at him, and Qui-Gon caught his breath at the despair in the younger man's blue-gray eyes. "We will get though this."

Before Obi-Wan could respond, Theela stepped in and checked the instruments by the medical couch again. Obi-Wan watched her, his expression unreadable. She smiled at him, brushed one finger over his hair, and stepped back to address both of them. "I spoke with Master Satoru," she said. "He agrees that we must wait for you to recover from this before he begins to work on your shields. I will not confine you to your sleep couch," she added, "but rest as much as you need to, for as long as you need to."

Obi-wan nodded, and the despair in the Force around him eased considerably.

"I'm going to release you now," she said to Obi-Wan. "Be careful. If that wound hurts, let me know immediately." She half aimed that last comment at Qui-Gon. She waited until they both nodded, then left.

Qui-Gon turned to Obi-Wan when the door shut behind her. "Mace couldn't salvage your tunic," he said gently, "and I haven't had the chance to get you fresh clothes. I can go get you some now, or I can take you back in that."

Obi-Wan looked down and fingered the robe he wore. "This is fine," he said, sounding exhausted.

Qui-Gon helped him back into the hover chair, resting a hand on his shoulder as Obi-Wan made himself comfortable, then they left the room.


	26. "Bathing Your Soul in Silver Tears" - Dream Theater, Under a Glass Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finding the problem and getting rid of it.

Qui-Gon sat back down in his favorite overstuffed chair in the common room he shared with Obi-wan, a fresh cup of tea in his hand, hoping he'd done the right thing. He'd had a consultation with Mind Healer Satoru, and they'd come up with a plan to destroy Di'ona's hold on Obi-Wan. Ob-Wan currently meditated, had done so constantly since Theela released him from her care, searching out where Di'ona had left the bombs in his head this time. Today he'd chosen to meditate in his own room, leaving Qui-Gon alone in the common room.

Master Satoru had found a room on the seventh floor, deep in the Temple, and prepared it for when Obi-Wan found what he needed. Qui-Gon would hide behind some dividers set up in the corner, so that Obi-Wan wouldn't know he was there. He would then work through Master Satoru to free Obi-wan.

Qui-Gon didn't know if disarming her bombs would work in the same way it had last time. He didn't know how Di'ona had booby-trapped Obi-Wan's mind, or if she had. He knew so little, and he didn't want to damage Obi-Wan's mind further. On the other hand, he had no idea what mental damage he could do if they didn't try, and he felt this was their best course of action. Master Satoru agreed with him.

Obi-Wan had been adamant in their discussion last night, when they'd returned from his latest session with Master Satoru. "The Jedi can do without me," he'd insisted. "But not without you. If I have to spend my days in the creche as a drooling idiot, at least you can train someone else. If I stay like this, you are as incapacitated as I am, unless you want to repudiate me."

It had taken Obi-Wan a lot to get those words out. He'd tried to hide the fear he felt while saying them. Qui-Gon had picked up on it in spite of the block on the bond between them. "I have no intention of doing that," he'd said, trying to convey the pride he'd felt at Obi-Wan's courage.

Obi-Wan's smile had lit his face for the first time in days, reminding Qui-Gon of how he'd felt when he'd seen Obi-wan smile the first time. "Thank you," Obi-Wan had said.

That meant they all felt the same way, and that made it easier. If it didn't go as well as they hoped, if this damaged Obi-Wan's mind, the Council would step in and nullify their relationship anyway, and they all knew that, too.

It hadn't taken long after that exchange for Qui-Gon to give in. He knew they had no alternative to the potentially risky actions. He'd spoken to Theela and to Master Satoru about what kind of safeguards they'd need, should the worst happen to Obi-wan. They'd made everything as ready as they could. He picked up the data-pad he'd set down and quickly - and thankfully - lost himself in the prophecies of the Chosen One.

* * *

"I found it."

Qui-Gon looked up, noting that hours had passed, and eyed Obi-Wan. He looked exhausted, pale and with dark rings around his eyes. But Qui-Gon saw hope in his expression he hadn't seen in a while.

"Where Di'ona placed the bomb?"

"Yes, Master."

Qui-Gon put his data-pad down on the arm of his chair. "I'll comm Master Satoru. You get something to eat." He retired to his own room. He hated keeping information away from Obi-Wan, but with the tests they'd done, his shields reacted to what he knew. Keeping Obi-wan in ignorance would as close to guarantee that this would work as possible.

"I'll comm Healer Ashthoret," Ulani Satoru said once Qui-Gon had explained. "Make sure he gets some food in him, and sleeps well. Send him to me right after early meal."

Qui-Gon signed off. He hoped Sorin and Toman had not told Di'ona of Denk's betrayal the last time she'd done this. If they had, what he planned could be dangerous. He shifted his focus back to the present and took the time to release his anxiety into the Force. Whatever else happened, he'd done his best to prepare, and he'd do his best to adapt to whatever came up. The thought didn't help him feel any better.

He stepped into the common room to find Obi-Wan in the kitchenette, stirring soup in a pan, reading the prophecy Qui-Gon had put down a moment ago. "I know this one," Obi-Wan said, setting the data-pad off to the side, out of reach of the heat. "It always comes up when I search for anything to do with the Force being out of balance."

Qui-Gon paused, trying to remember which prophecy Obi-Wan meant. "I've noticed there seems to be a cross between the two subjects. I've come across maybe three references to the Chosen One that don't mention the Force being out of balance."

"Interesting," Obi-wan said, and turned the cook-top off. "What did Master Satoru have to say?"

"He would like you to eat a good meal tonight, sleep well, and have something for early meal before meeting him in his office. He will take you to what he has prepared from there."

Obi-Wan got a bowl down, then hesitated. "Would you like some?"

Qui-Gon smiled. "Yes, please," he said.

Over late meal, they spoke about the Prophecies they each studied, trading information. Obi-Wan looked better, life in his eyes and his movements when they'd left the bowls in the sink and moved to the couch to continue their conversation. They retired at a natural break, and Qui-Gon could tell how much the evening, spent on something other than his own problems, had helped Obi-Wan relax.

They spoke little at early meal, taking the time to clean up from the night before as well. Tension grew in Obi-Wan as the time neared, and Qui-Gon could think of nothing to help him. Finally, Qui-Gon looked up from the dishes. "It's time to go," he said.

Obi-Wan nodded and stood, setting his bowl in the sink. "I am ready."

Qui-Gon nodded. "I'll clean up."

Obi-Wan hesitated. "You're not coming?"

Qui-Gon heard a soft plaintiveness in Obi-Wan's voice, and Qui-Gon saw in his eyes the lost child he'd found curled around his knee in the corner garden. "If you wish it, I will walk with you to Master Satoru's office," he offered.

Obi-Wan looked relieved. "Please, Master."

Qui-Gon caught himself sending reassurances down the bond that Obi-Wan couldn't feel, and stopped. Instead, he reached out and rested his hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder, then gave his braid a gentle tug. "Are you ready?"

Obi-Wan took a deep breath. "Yes, Master," he said, and the Force around him felt much calmer now.

Qui-Gon took comfort in the walk to Master Satoru's office. He didn't let himself linger on the idea that he might never have Obi-Wan's presence at his shoulder again. He much preferred the thought that they'd have years yet together. At the door to Master Satoru's office, Qui-Gon turned to smile at Obi-Wan. "May the Force be with you."

"And with you, Master," Obi-Wan said, and stepped in.

As soon as the door closed behind Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon made for the lifts that would take him down to the seventh floor of the Temple. He meditated lightly on the trip down, reviewing what he'd done a few hours after he'd chosen Obi-Wan as his Padawan. He would have to be quick.

Once on the seventh floor, he strode through the halls to the room Master Satoru had prepared. It all looked as Satoru had said it would, and Qui-Gon slipped behind the dividers. He sank in a meditative trance to pass time and to mask his Force signature. He came back out of it when he heard Obi-Wan's voice, and Master Satoru answer, even though he didn't know what they spoke about. Then they walked in, and closed the door behind them.

"Sit on the floor, please," an unfamiliar voice said. "I'd rather you didn't fall off the hover bed. I'll monitor you through the Force. We don't expect anything to go wrong, but I'm here in case it does, and I like to minimize possible complications."

"Obi-Wan," Master Satoru said gently, "I want you to relax. I'm going to shield you from outside distraction."

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan sounded nervous.

Qui-Gon resisted the urge to peek out between the dividers. He didn't want to give his position away, didn't want to give Di'ona a chance to win, even posthumously. After what seemed like a long time, Master Satoru nudged Qui-Gon with the Force to let him know the time had come. Qui-Gon found it easy to fall into rapport with the Mind Healer because Master Satoru had so much experience with that. Qui-Gon watched as Master Satoru launched a mental attack on Obi-Wan's shields. Obi-Wan's Force signature shuddered as his shields failed immediately, leaving his mind open and vulnerable. Qui-Gon mentally slipped in behind Master Satoru, masking his own presence with the Mind Healer's.

"Where is this bomb?" Master Satoru asked out loud. Basically blind behind Satoru's Force presence, Qui-Gon did not see how Obi-Wan told Satoru know where Di'ona had sabotaged his mind. "Now," Master Satoru said softly, and Qui-Gon moved forward, aware that he had little time.

It looked like a droid program, a logical progression of 'if this then that' he found easy to follow. He had to disconnect that foreign piece of programming from where she'd placed it in Obi-Wan's mind. Denk had said he needed to do it quickly, like taking an arm off with a lightsaber. Using that analogy, he formed the Force and struck, swiftly and surgically, and then he and Master Satoru withdrew from the brightness of Obi-Wan's mind.

As soon as they did, Obi-Wan's shields slammed shut again. For a moment, nothing happened, and Qui-Gon closed his eyes to release his worry into the Force. He didn't want to despair quite yet, even though the change had been immediate last time.

"Watch out!" the Healer yelled.

Qui-Gon hadn't moved that fast in a long time, leaping over the dividers to reach him. The healer had caught Obi-Wan as he slumped, and Satoru checked for his pulse. "He's breathing," he said, glancing at Qui-Gon.

"He's in a very deep sleep," the healer offered. "Let's get him up to the Healer's Wing. Master Healer Ashthoret will be able to give you further information."

"Do you think he will lose control of his shields in the corridor?" Satoru asked.

Qui-Gon looked down at the pale face of his Padawan. "I don't think so," he said slowly, "and if he does, I can shield him."

The Healer nodded. "Good. If one of you will take his feet, let's get him on the hover bed."

Qui-Gon helped the healer moved his Padawan, then took a deep breath and fell in behind the Healer, who maneuvered it through the empty halls to the lift. "I commed Theela," Satoru said as he slipped in the closing lift doors. "I don't know if we did any damage, but I don't believe so. From what I could tell, everything went as it should have."

Qui-Gon nodded his thanks, and turned back to Obi-Wan.

They left the lift, the hover bed and Qui-Gon going one way, Master Satoru another. As they turned the corner toward the Healer's Wing, Qui-Gon could see Theela waiting for them. She took change immediately. As soon as they got Obi-Wan on a medical couch, she did a thorough examination, shooting occasional question at Qui-Gon, who stood in a corner out of the way. He answered automatically, and once she had checked out Obi-Wan to her apparent satisfaction, she turned to Qui-Gon. "Are you all right?" she asked.

"Yes," he said, just as automatically as he had answered to her other questions.

"Qui-Gon." She touched his shoulder gently and he tore his gaze away from Obi-Wan to look up at her. "Are you all right?"

"Yes," he answered again, this time less automatically.

"Comm me when he wakes?"

He nodded, and she left the room. Qui-Gon moved one of the chairs closer to the medical couch and sat down in it, suddenly tired. He'd had a long day, and a tiring one. His head drooped after a moment and he dozed, alert to any move his Padawan might make.


	27. "Lookin' for a Friend to Borrow" - Hanson, Song to Sing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of established equilibrium

Obi-Wan wondered where he'd fallen asleep. This sleep couch felt comfortable enough, if softer than his own. But he still had to get up.

Familiar and long missed warmth tinged with amusement touched his mind, and he forced his eyes open. "Master?" he mumbled groggily, and the blurry shape next to him slowly resolved in to the tired face of his Master. "The block is gone," he said, surprised, and Obi-Wan could feel his Master's relief as clear as his own. He'd missed that!

Qui-Gon moved, reaching for something beyond him. "Tell Master Ashthoret that Padawan Kenobi is awake," he said, then turned back to Obi-Wan. "How are you feeling?"

"A little fuzzy," he mumbled and struggled to sit up, only to have Qui-Gon push him back down.

"I don't think you should get up yet," Qui-Gon said gently. "At least wait until Theela returns."

Obi-Wan nodded, staring at the ceiling, fighting the fatigue that urged his eyes closed. "Whatever Di'ona did, it took a lot out of me," he said.

"Are you in control of your shields?" Qui-Gon asked.

Obi-Wan raised and lowered his shields a few times, but that tired him out more. "Yes, Master. What happened?"

Before Qui-Gon could answer, the door slid open and Theela stepped in. "Padawan Kenobi. How are you feeling?"

Obi-Wan thought about that, then realized the silence had gone on too long. "Tired," he said finally. "But I have control of my shields."

"Tired is acceptable." Theela said, and Qui-Gon moved out of the way as she checked Obi-Wan over. "In fact," she added as she finished, "tired is normal. I expect you to sleep as much as you need to."

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan mumbled. A blissful lethargy enveloped his arms and legs, and he didn't think he could move them if he wanted. His lethargy reminded him of a planet he'd visited once, with heavier gravity than he was used to. Movement was slow, as if he moved in a heavy gel, and even speaking had been difficult. The gravity didn't affected his thoughts like this, though. His eyelids slid shut. The last thing he heard was his Master's gently laugh, but even that could not keep him from slipping under again.

_Obi-Wan walked into the opulent building from the speeder park, spotting the young Jedi he sought immediately. He stood talking to a beautiful woman near the lifts by the back wall. The woman wore a dark green dress, elegant and simple as befitting her station. She listened to what the Jedi had to say with her complete attention. Obi-Wan strode over and touched the Jedi's shoulder. "Excuse me, Senator," Obi-Wan said, directing his words to the woman. "We need to go, now."_

_The young Jedi turned, and Obi-Wan felt a shock of recognition that he dismissed. Of course he knew this Jedi, he'd been Obi-Wan's Padawan. "Yes, Master," he said. "Until we meet again, Senator." He bowed to her. She nodded regally and turned to call the lift._

_Obi-Wan led the way back out to the speeder park where he'd left the small, two person flyer. He got into the pilot's seat, much to the other Knight's dismay. "You still don't trust my flying, Master?" he asked, amused, as he climbed in._

_"You're too reckless," Obi-Wan responded automatically and even absently._

_"That means no," his friend said, and the two of them shared a grin. "Where are we going?"_

_Obi-Wan started the flyer. "The Supreme Chancellor has called an emergency meeting for the Senate. He wishes the Jedi to be there."_

I have a bad feeling about this, _Obi-Wan thought as he piloted the small craft away from the Senator's apartment building and toward the Senate building. Searching the Force for more information turned up nothing, which frustrated him. Taking a deep breath, he released his frustration into the Force - a much-used exercise - which had the effect of easing whatever bad feeling he'd had. He turned his attention to the flight. He'd never seen the traffic this bad. It seemed that everyone headed in that direction, and accidents or something else blocked every level he could see. The sun hadn't sunk yet, and he hadn't heard that they'd scheduled rain storms, so that cut out reason for the accidents. Obi-Wan swerved sharply to keep a large Senate transport from clipping him, and nearly hit a flyer the same size as his._

_"Master, are you sure we have to go?" The Knight sounded as if he'd rather be somewhere else, anywhere else, perhaps back with the Senator, who, Obi-Wan realized now, hadn't received the summons to the special council meeting. He assumed the Knight's reluctance had nothing to do with Obi-Wan's flying._

_"I am sure," Obi-Wan said. "Yoda feels we need to be there, that something important will happen that we need to witness."_

_The other Knight had nothing to say to that, but Obi-Wan knew the silence that followed Yoda's name with this friend of his._

_When they arrived at the Senate, Obi-Wan parked the flyer and they walked inside together, joining the crush of beings that passed through the foyer. Obi-Wan turned as the other Jedi hesitated. "I have a bad feeling about this," he said._

_Obi-Wan moved them out of the way, into a corner of the lobby, then paused, testing the Force. Nothing felt wrong. His brow furrowed. "What is it?"_

_The Knight shook his head. "I don't know. I should go back." He paused. "So should you, Master. I really don't like this."_

_Obi-Wan thought a moment. Nothing felt wrong, but still…. He knew how strong this Knight was in the Force, stronger than he himself. Had it not been Yoda who said they needed to be there, Obi-Wan would have let the other Jedi go, and he expressed that to the younger man. The Knight sighed but said nothing, and they plunged back into the stream of beings moving toward the senate chamber._

_The Chancellor had started before they arrived, an older man positioned on a raised platform in the center of the chamber. Representatives still arrived, speaking softly so that under the Chancellor's voice they heard a soft susurration of noise. Obi-Wan lost sight of his former Padawan in the crowd on their way in, only to spot him up near the speaker. Even as Obi-Wan stared, surprised at this twist and wondering how he got up there, he could see the shadow of a dark helmet and black cape around the other Jedi._

_Then the words the Chancellor spoke sank in, and Obi-Wan knew that the Republic and the Jedi would not survive this._

With a gasp, Obi-Wan woke, disoriented as he struggled to get out from under the blankets, to go and warn Yoda. Then he realized he couldn't remember anything except a feeling of impending doom.

A hand gripped his shoulder gently. "Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan stopped moving, looking up at Qui-Gon, who stood over him, worry on his face and, now that Obi-Wan had gathered his senses, coming through the bond. He took a deep breath. "Sorry, Master. Bad dream," he said, and his voice rasped in his throat.

Qui-Gon looked concerned. "What kind of dream?" he asked. He let Obi-Wan go and poured a cup of water, then helped his Padawan sit up enough to drink it.

"Thank you. I don't think the dream was one of Di'ona's," Obi-Wan said slowly. "It wasn't a memory."

"How many of them weren't memories?" Qui-Gon asked, helping Obi-wan lay back and pulling the chair closer so he could sit down.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I don't know. I'd have to look."

Silence hovered between them. Obi-Wan meditated lightly to help him to relax, feeling much better than he had the night before, although the dream hadn't left his mind even without remembering the details.

"I almost forgot," Qui-Gon said awhile later. "Master Windu gave me this to give to you." He held out Obi-Wan's lightsaber.

Obi-Wan took it and examined it carefully. "Someone went back to get it, and Di'ona, didn't they."

"And you," Qui-Gon said. "When I couldn't raise you, Mace went to find out what happened."

"She threw my comm unit away," Obi-Wan said, his brow furrowed, then he remembered what had happened. "The staff," he said with a sigh. "I'll have to explain to Merrick."

The door slid open to let Theela in. "I see you are up," she said, and moved to study the monitors by Obi-Wan's sleep couch.

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said.

"How are you feeling?" she asked as she looked at him.

"Much better," he said after a short pause. Answering too quickly put her on guard, and he really wanted to get back to his own quarters. Besides, he didn't lie. He felt much better.

"But not back to normal." Theela said. "Still…." Whispers of the Force examined his body, but did not bring up the memories he half expected. It would take some time to get used to this, he figured. They'd haunted him for a long time. "I believe I can release you into your Master's keeping. I want you to take it easy for the next few days. Don't exert yourself," she added with a warning glance at Qui-Gon.

"Yes, Master Ashthoret," Obi-Wan said eagerly, and started to get off the medical couch. Theela caught him and steadied him as he nearly fell, then smiled fondly at him and ruffled his hair. Her fingertips brushed the back of his neck. Obi-Wan flushed at his clumsiness. "Thank you, Master."

"You are welcome, Padawan Kenobi," she said, nodded at Qui-Gon, and left the room.

Qui-Gon helped Obi-wan with his boots, then assisted him when he stood up. Obi-Wan's limbs still felt heavy, and he stumbled as they left the room. Qui-Gon steadied him, and as soon as Obi_wan had caught his balance, they started out of the Healer's Wing.

When they got back to their quarters, Obi-Wan sank down on the couch in the common room. Just that walk had exhausted him, and he wondered how long it would take to get everything back to normal. "Are you hungry?" Qui-Gon asked.

Obi-Wan nodded and started to get up. Qui-Gon shook his head. "I'll get it. You rest."

"Thank you, Master," Obi-Wan said, and tried to make sure his Master knew he meant for all that had happened.

The soup tasted delicious, and best of all, didn't take a lot of energy to eat. Obi-Wan felt much better after he'd finished it. Qui-Gon cleared up, and Obi-Wan stared at the floor, still to exhausted to do much more. And then, he got an idea.

"Master," he said, and Qui-Gon turned to him. "Would you please meditate with me?"

Qui-Gon smiled. "Yes," he said. They knelt together, and Obi-Wan sank into the trance, enjoying the open bond Di'ona had denied him for so long.

* * *

The next morning, Obi-Wan decided to figure out the answer to his Master's question. Unwilling to spend the time alone and aware of his Master's interest, he settled down on the couch in the common room. As he studied his dreams, determining which came from Di'ona and which hadn't, he began to notice a pattern. He got up to get the data-pad he kept a record of his missions on, then sat down and began to compare them. "Strange," he murmured.

Qui-Gon looked up from his own work in the overstuffed chair he preferred. "What is strange, Padawan?"

"I had more memory-dreams here in the Temple," Obi-Wan said. "That doesn't seem right."

"Why not?"

"Well, because…." Qui-Gon's curiosity through the bond distracted Obi-Wan, still not used to the connection between them. "Because I would have thought she'd have found it harder to reach me here. Don't you think?"

Qui-Gon nodded. "That is a good observation."

"Am I wrong?" Obi-Wan asked.

"I don't know," Qui-Gon said. "But I do know who might answer your questions."

"Master?"

"Kalifa Sendar is still here. I will ask if we may visit her, and we can see if she is willing to answer your questions."

"Oh," Obi-Wan said, and looked back down at the data-pads in his hands without really seeing them.

"Is something wrong?" He asked the question casually, but Obi-Wan could feel the concern in the bond between them. Qui-Gon must have felt some of his confusion.

"No," Obi-Wan said slowly. He didn't know what made him hesitate, although if Kalifa were anything like his former Masters, he could only expect abuse from her. She wouldn't have the insight to him the other's did, thought, since she'd never trained him. He didn't want to face any of Di'ona's former Padawans. Then again, he did want answers.

"Do you want to speak with Kalifa Sendar?"

Obi-Wan sighed and looked up at his Master. "Yes," he said. "And thank you for all you've done." Even if he had things he wanted to keep from his Master, he preferred to have the bond open. He'd missed having it.


	28. "I've had Enough of Your Talk" - Backstreet Boys, Not for Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go to visit Kalifa

Obi-Wan stood nervously at his Master's shoulder, waiting for the warden to bring Kalifa Sendar to meet with them. They stood in the middle of the brightly-lit visiting room. Chairs leaned at random intervals against the wall around the room, the only furniture. Someone moved beyond the small window in the door across from the one they'd come in, and Qui-Gon turned to Obi-Wan. "Are you sure?" he asked.

Obi-Wan could feel Qui-Gon's concern and love, and both bolstered him. "Yes, Master," he said, and then the door opened.

"I have a few questions as well," Qui-Gon told him, and then they turned their attention to Kalifa. She stood for a moment just inside the door. When it closed, she took a chair the farthest from them. Her expression told Obi-Wan nothing, but her eyes burned with… he couldn't name that emotion. The Force-suppressing collar at her throat comforted him, but not as much as he hoped. "Master Windu said you wanted to ask me some questions," she said, and her eyes dropped to the floor. "He said it would be better if I were to answer them."

Qui-Gon walked over and took a chair some distance from her. Obi-Wan stood at his right shoulder, hoping he looked less nervous than he felt. Qui-Gon's assurance down the bond helped him relax. "Di'ona said she was controlling my dreams," he started. "How could she do that when I was in the Temple?"

She still had no expression. "She knew where you were," she said without looking up.

"Did you let her in the Temple?"

"I did," Kalifa said in a matter-of-fact tone. "Most Jedi don't look closely at others moving around the Temple at night, especially because they are in the Temple and assume it's safe."

"What about Toman?" Obi-wan kept his own feelings locked tight about his former Master. He refused to give her an opening. She might have that collar which kept her from accessing the Force, but that didn't make her any less dangerous.

"Yes, I let him in, too. Something had to be done." Kalifa's voice hardened.

Obi-Wan had an uncomfortable feeling she meant him, but went on with his questions. "How long was Di'ona on Nemorina?"

"Almost five standard years."

Obi-wan paused a moment, not sure how to continue. "Did she orchestrate our arrival there?" he asked slowly.

Kalifa looked up at him finally, eyes narrowed with malice before she dropped them again. "Yes. The Council gave me the assignment because Halldor knew me. It didn't take much to get Qui-Gon assigned to help me when the girl disappeared, since he was the closest one with a senior Padawan." She glanced up again for an instant. "And you were right where she wanted you."

"Did she have anything to do with the rest of the missing children?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Yes. She set up the whole ring."

Obi-Wan stared at her. "She ruined hundreds of lives just to get to me?"

"If it would save the Jedi, and through them many more lives, then yes," Kalifa said defiantly.

"Are you certain that preventing Obi-Wan from reaching his trials would save the Jedi?" Qui-Gon asked, his voice quieter than before.

"My Master is… was."

"How did your Master convince you what she was doing was right?" Qui-Gon asked.

Kalifa straightened and fastened her gaze on his. "She shared her visions with me. With all of us. They were horrible, Master Jinn. Younglings struck down, the Temple in flames…. Anything she did is worth avoiding that." She started to reach for the collar, then caught herself and put her hands back in her lap. "If you take this off, I would be able to show you."

Qui-Gon shook his head. "The Council forbids it."

"Did she ever say what I would do?" Obi-Wan asked, trying to sound as collected as his Master. He didn't think he did a very good job. Her words had shaken him a lot.

Kalifa didn't look at him, her eyes fixed on Qui-Gon. "No. Only that you would destroy the Jedi."

"She didn't think of some other way to keep that vision from happening?" Obi-Wan asked next.

"If she could have, she would have done it," Kalifa snapped, glaring at him for an instant. He wondered if she found the sight of him painful - and then wondered why. Because he had killed her Master?

"I see," Qui-Gon said.

"Do you?" she asked, suddenly fervent. "Do you see how he will destroy us, what must be done?" She clawed at the collar. "Let me show you, Master Jinn. You could stop the destruction here and now."

Obi-Wan couldn't believe it. She wanted to recruit his Master to this insanity? But before he could even start to worry, Qui-Gon portrayed his own horror at the thought.

"I did not have that vision," Qui-Gon said gently, and her frantic motion stopped, her hands folded back into her lap. "I had the exact opposite experience. It was very clear to me that I was to train Obi-Wan, so clear that I had very little other option."

"But you have only brought about the destruction of the order," she insisted.

"That is why I doubt the validity of your Master's vision," Qui-Gon said, calm against her raging storm. "Did she go to the Council?"

"Of course," she spat impatiently. "Yoda put her off with platitudes. Always in motion the future is," she said, mocking the Master and the council he gave. "They would not act on it, and advised her to wait and see what happened. My Master did not think waiting was the correct answer."

"And if she was wrong?" Qui-Gon asked.

"Then the life of one Padawan is a low enough price to insure that 10,000 Jedi remain alive and well, and continue to serve the Galaxy."

"The life of any one person is far too high a cost," Qui-Gon said firmly, and stood. "Thank you for your time." Immediately, the door she had come through opened, and the warden Obi-Wan had not seen before stepped in. Kalifa stood and swept out. As soon as the door closed behind her, Qui-Gon led the way from the room through the door they'd come in, toward the lifts that would take them up to their residence level.

Obi-Wan followed in silence, thinking about what had happened. He'd found nothing but sorrow in the bond with Qui-Gon, sorrow for her and what she had become. It bothered him, and he felt he would have to meditate on the whole situation to understand any of it.

The silence lasted until they reached their quarters. "I guess now we know why I was getting the dreams in the Temple," Obi-Wan said thoughtfully as he sank down on the couch.

Qui-Gon smiled as he sat down in his overstuffed chair. "Yes," he agreed. "Are you okay?"

Obi-Wan took a deep breath. "Yes," he said. "I am."

"Did you get the answers you were looking for?"

"Mostly," Obi-Wan said. "I still wish I knew what I am supposed to do to destroy the Jedi."

Qui-Gon leaned forward, catching Obi-Wan's eyes. "You will not turn against the Jedi," he said firmly, smiling a little. "It simply isn't in you."

Obi-Wan took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. His Master believed in him. He was content with that.


	29. Epilogue: "Bound by the Life You Left Behind" - Evanescence, My Immortal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan thinks about his past.

Obi-Wan slumped in the pilot's seat on Padmè's ship. R2 had set the navigation to take them… to wherever Senator's Organa's ship was going - oh right, Polis Massa - and he'd made Padmè as comfortable as he could.

He felt battered by the events of the last few days. The attack on the Temple, the slaughter of the younglings, and then the battle with Anakin on Mustafar, had all left him numb. He sank into a light meditative trance to try to regain his lost equilibrium. Instead, he felt arms around him, the rough cloth of a Temple-issued sleep tunic against his cheek, comfort through his brutally severed bond with Qui-Gon Jinn. With it came an easing, a feeling that a great deal of his mourning had already happened.

The feeling faded far sooner than he'd wished, and he felt less numb. Then he straightened, eyes wide. "Anakin," he whispered in surprise, and speaking the name punctured through the the rest of his deadened emotions. "It was Anakin." That name had woken him up after a dream that had filled him with grief, and he'd had the odd experience of having the feeling that his master should not be there, years before the battle with Maul.

Obi-Wan rubbed his face. It still felt tight from the heat of the lava. Better to meditate on that later, once he'd found a place to stay. The Jedi had been destroyed….

 _"You will destroy the Jedi."_ The voice of a long-dead Foilani Knight rang through his mind. He hadn't thought of Di'ona in years. Only a year after her death had come Naboo….

She'd been right, he thought later as he met up with Yoda and reported on his failure. Somehow, he'd missed something important while training Anakin, and he'd lost someone he loved directly to the Dark Side. Because of that, he'd lost everyone else he cared about.

"Blame yourself, you must not," Yoda said.

Obi-Wan automatically knelt, shaking himself three of his thoughts. They waited alone in a small conference room on Polis Massa for information on Padmè and her children. "I didn't do enough," he said. "Master, I failed."

"Blame yourself you should not. Your best you did," Yoda replied.

"It wasn't enough. I missed something. I failed Anakin and the Jedi."

"Too old he was," Yoda insisted, banging his gimer stick on the floor for emphasis - if not so firmly as before the events of the last few days.

"He hated me," Obi-Wan said, and knew he'd have to release that pain into the Force soon, or it would begin to fester. "I thought we were friends."

"Nothing but hate feels he now," Yoda agreed, and then looked penetratingly at him. "Think on Di'ona, do you?"

Obi-Wan flinched. "Yes."

"Wrong she was," Yoda insisted.

"But…."

Yoda leaned forward, looking earnestly into Obi-Wan's eyes. "You she did not see."

That surprised Obi-Wan completely. "But… she tried…." So many protests overwhelmed him that he could not voice any of them.

"See you, she did not," Yoda repeated.

"How do you know?" Obi-Wan gasped.

"Glimpses only, saw I," Yoda said sadly. "Dim. Distant. Understand too late, I did." He pounded the floor again. "Think on her you should not."

"Yes, Master." As well ask the sun on Coruscant not to rise.

"Hmph," Yoda grunted. "Hear me you do not. Much like your Master you are." His eyes softened, and he turned away. "Done well you have, Obi-Wan. Rest you should. Much to do you will have."

A droid appeared in the doorway, summoning them to Padmè's side. Obi-Wan set the conversation aside to meditate on later, and followed to sit with Padmè. That, at least, he could do for his friend.

* * *

_The green lightsaber flowed faintly in the malevolent dark, a familiar dark, because he'd had this dream before. A red lightsaber located approximately at the feet of the bearer of the green lightsaber faded to nothingness, flaring slightly as it became green again before winking out. The lightsaber stood alone against the dark for an instant, until more lightsabers began to appear, distant, dim, but growing in strength and numbers, filling the darkness with light. A peace washed over him, that all would be well._

Obi-Wan started awake at the beeping of the navcomputer, alerting him that the ship had arrived at Tatooine. He entered the coordinates for Mos Eisley, and went to check on his precious cargo. Luke looked up at him, quiet, aware as many of the children in the creche had acted before…. He shook his head. A small hand wrapped itself around one of his fingers. Blue eyes met his, and Obi-Wan found hope in the midst of his despair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for joining me on this journey. I hope you have enjoyed it!


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